


Please, Release Me

by Severus1snape



Series: Sneville Stories [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Blow Jobs, Boys Kissing, Falling In Love, M/M, Male Slash, Second War with Voldemort, Teacher-Student Relationship, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-01
Updated: 2016-12-08
Packaged: 2018-06-05 16:46:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 50
Words: 79,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6712960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Severus1snape/pseuds/Severus1snape
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Snape has murdered Dumbledore and been on the run for a month. What happens when he comes across Neville and they get locked inside the ROR together?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. When Help Is Needed

**Author's Note:**

> Published May 1st 2016.
> 
> IF ANYONE WANTS TO BETA THIS (spelling and grammar) PLEASE LET ME KNOW!

Neville stood there frozen to the floor as he came eye to eye with the man of his nightmares in the deserted corridor. Professor Severus Snape looked worse than ever. Paler, thinner, more tired and angrier. Of course he would look worse. The man had murdered Dumbledore and had been on the run for a month now. Nobody knew where he had gone, or even seen him since he had left Hogwarts. Until now.

 

“Expelliarmus.” Neville said before Snape could come out of his trance. Something was definitely off with this picture. Since when can anyone disarm Snape?

 

Snape leaned against the cold stone of the Hogwarts walls breathing hard. “Longbottom.” He stated, giving him the worst kind of ´get the fuck out of my way´ look he could muster up. 

 

“Professor.” Neville bravely replied pointing his wand at him after summoning Snape´s wand from where it had dropped to the floor and pocketing it inside his own ropes.

 

“This way.” Neville spoke and led the way to the room of requirements, which was closest to where they were,  still with his wand raised. The room seemed to realize what was needed and locked the doors while red flares surrounded the exit. 

 

“You fool!” Snape growled at him. “That was a fucking lock down charm. There is no getting out of this room now before it _wants_ us to.” Neville looked taken aback from this piece information, but took a deep breath knowing he was the only one with a wand. Two actually.

 

He hadn´t expected Snape to follow him, but he had. He had thought he would fight back, but looking closer at the man Neville saw something strange. Was he in pain? “What´s wrong with you?” Neville demanded while walking across the room to where Snape had sat down on the floor where pillows were spread out.

 

Snape stared up at Neville with irritation written across his features. He didn´t want to answer, but he knew he could not lie, because as stupid as Longbottom was surely he would realize the moment that he died in front of him. He took a deep controlling breath and leant back against the wall. “The Dark Lord wants his followers to submit completely to him.” He started with his usual drawl. Neville watched him as he spoke again. “He uses torture. Any kind he can think of, to make sure they fear him enough to not fight back. The cruciatus curse, loss of limbs, mental and physical pain. Only when he has no use of you will be merciful and kill you.” He met Longbottom’s gaze as he flinched in pain on the floor.

 

Longbottom looked uncomfortable standing there watching him in pain. One would think that he was the one in pain and not Snape. “Are you dying?” He asked his professor. 

 

“Aren´t we all?” Was the harsh reply.

 

Neville shifted on the spot and slowly sat down still pointing his wand at Snape. “What´s wrong with you?” he asked again. Snape rolled his eyes and shifted his legs a bit and Neville followed this movement as a reflex. His eyes widened. He blushed and looked away. Snape snorted. 

 

“Surely you have seen one before Longbottom? Or is this your first encounter with an erect cock?” He sneered.

 

Neville swallowed hard and Snape spoke. “One of the Dark lord´s many ways of making sure his followers are subdued is the use of his own homemade aphrodisiac potion.” 

 

Neville´s eyes flew to meet Snape´s in horror. “What? He rapes you?”

 

Snape snorted again. “No. he takes pleasure in watching us do the work.” Neville made a gagging noise.

 

Snape rolled his eyes. “Not with him you idiot!” He took a steadying breath he was obviously still in pain and from the looks of it had gotten a lot worse since they had entered the room together. “He makes us take the potion and then he watches us ´have fun.´ There is no antidote. The only way to get out of this is release.” 

 

“You mean, you have to…. Touch yourselves?”

 

“No. It will only work if you´re with someone orally or anally.” 

 

“That´s horrible.” Neville let out.

 

“Tell me about it.” Snape spat out, he was now having a hard time keeping still from the pain.

 

“You took the potion tonight? Are you in pain because you couldn´t, you know…?” 

 

“And here I thought you were stupid Longbottom.” Snape mocked. Neville scowled at him.

 

“I tried sending a Patronus to the Order when we got here to come and get you to Azkaban. It didn´t work. So we´re stuck here until someone finds us or the room will let us out.”

 

Snape smirked through his pain. “A patronus requires a lot of practice.” 

 

“Fuck you, you bastard.” Neville suddenly spat. “I may not be the most gifted wizard, but I can fucking create a patronus. That´s more than most can.” He got up and walked away from Snape´s sitting form. “You were always a bastard. No wonder everyone hates you. Always tormenting students. And me, you treated me worse than everyone else!”

 

“You fucking moron Longbottom. I did it to give you confidence.” Snape yelled. 

 

“Confidence? You don´t give people that by treating them like crap. Making them feel like they are the worst kind of wizards, who ever lived. Making them feel like they shouldn´t even have been born!” Neville was red in the face with anger by now.

 

Snape saw the young man´s eyes ready to burst with tears. “Potter needed friends who were brave and confident. You were Potter´s friend from the beginning. I had no choice but be rough with you; you had the bravery of a chicken. I do not do _soft_ teaching with anyone Longbottom.”

 

Neville looked away. Snape noticed he wiped his eyes before turning around. “What happens to you now, with the potion?” He asked Snape in no more than a whisper, but Snape heard it anyway. 

 

“My balls will explode and I would die from blood loss since the bastard made it impossible to heal this condition.” Neville´s eyes flew to his again forgetting to hide the redness in them.

 

“That´s fucking sick.” Snape laughed.

 

“No Longbottom. Sick, is when you have taken the potion and Bellatrix is the only one able to help you. Goyle learned that the hard way.” Neville gagged.

 

Neville took a deep breath . ´Cause of death exploding balls and severe blood loss.´ He shuddered. What a way to go out. Ultimate pain and embarrassment. He took another deep breath and closed his eyes. Snape was not breathing hard anymore only, he was also screaming out in deep, agonizing pain in intervals.

 

Neville shook his head, ´how´s this for confidence,´ he thought before he swung his wand and Snape´s pants and underwear vanished and he walked over to him.

 

”What the hell are you doing Longb…” Snape snarled at Neville. Whatever else he had planned on asking was drowned in the back of his throat as Neville had lowered his warm and wet mouth over Snape´s throbbing, saluting cock.

 

Snape let out a growl as Neville started to suck the red head while letting his tongue run down the back of his length. Neville´s hands went to still the hips Snape didn´t even realize he had begun thrusting in the young man´s hole.

 

“FUCK yes!” Snape´s mouth let slip out as Neville grabbed his sac and messaged it while taking the entire eight inches down his throat and up again, making sure so add a sucking movement when the head reached his lips before repeating it over and over.

 

Snape was panting when Neville´s warmth let go of his cock. He still didn´t meet Snape´s eyes which were still locked to the task Neville was performing. Instead he placed his finger inside his own mouth and sucked it, causing Snape´s head to start wandering off, before taking the finger out again. He resumed to licking the huge cock before him while he led the wet finger to Snape´s entrance.

 

Snape watched and he wanted to stop Longbottom from what was so obviously going to happen next, but his voice failed him. He could only wait and watch while Neville slowly slid his finger inside his arse. Snape hissed and began moving his hips again. Neville paid no attention to his professor as he replaced the finger with two instead and began thrusting them deeper inside as if searching for something.

 

“MOTHERFUCKER,” Snape cursed as Neville brushed his fingers against his prostate and sucked the head of his cock more persistently. Neville felt Snape´s legs begin shaking but still ignored the man beneath him.

 

“Longbottom…” Snape said panted. No response. “Longbottom…” Snape moaned this time. He thrust his hips upwards with such force Neville gagged before he let Snape´s cock go to respond. 

 

“I think right in this very moment that you know my name, professor.”

 

And then the sucking resumed. “FUCK!” Snape´s legs shook harder and he was sweating like crazy. “Longb..” Snape swallowed his pride. “Neville… move your head…” Neville smirked and Snape saw it, but he didn´t move one inch from his cock. Snape resigned and let go and his warm semen shot down Neville´s throat as he finally removed his two fingers from his professor´s ass and finished licking his member clean.

 

Snape lay back onto his pillow panting with his eyes closed while Neville stood up, cast a cleaning spell, another to return Snape´s pants and went for the door. “Longbottom…” Snape said.  No reaction. “Neville…” Snape tentatively spoke. Neville stopped with his hand on the doorknob and turned around to face his professor for the first time since he had taken his cock into his mouth.

 

“Professor?” He replied. Snape gazed into his blue eyes with a warm feeling inside his chest forming. 

 

“That was NEWT worthy.” Neville blushed slightly, smiled and nodded before exiting the door. As he closed and locked the door and waited for the aurors to arrive he leant against the doorframe smiling proudly. ´That was NEWT worthy.´ He knew that those words coming from that man meant it was better than that, because the praise of Severus Snape did not come easy.

 


	2. Coming Out

 

Neville didn´t realize he had been standing outside the room of requirement for almost ten minutes just thinking about the fact that he had just sucked a man´s cock. It wasn´t the very first time he had in fact done precisely that sort of thing either. He had come to the conclusion in their third year of school at Hogwarts that he was not at all attracted to the opposite sex and knowing what a man´s whore Seamus was he had spoken to him about it.

 

Seamus had never really cared if he was with a girl or a guy as long as he ´got it on,´ which is why Neville said yes at once when Seamus offered to teach him about sex with men a mere six months ago. Neville had then lost his virginity to his classmate after agreeing to not ´make a big deal´ about it; in the end it was only sex and nothing more, besides friendship that is.

 

Neville always had to practice and study harder than his friends when it came to doing magic and he really hadn´t wanted that to be true about sexual encounters too, not when the time would come and he would fall in love. He was sick and tired of being laughed at, which is why Seamus had been teaching him to master a prober blowjob, finding the prostate and of course the actual ´love making.´ Seamus himself had told Neville that he was “awesome” in bed, and coming from a guy who had so much practice, well, let’s just say that it gave Neville a great deal of confidence.

 

´Oh my god, I just went down on professor Snape!´ Neville felt dizzy as this piece of information finally dawned on him, as if he had only just woken up from a dream or was it a nightmare instead, and he sat down leaning against the door banging his head slightly at it.

 

´No, no, no, no NO. He is going to bloody murder me. Or worse, he´s going to tell the world!´ Neville was freaking out by this time. ´Maybe I should just _not_ give him the chance to tell. I _could_ kill him. Nobody would really miss him. He _is_ a murderer after all.´ He closed his eyes as they were beginning to blur his eyesight from the sudden headache, which did not come from banging it towards the door, he was sure of it.

 

A thought came to him as he was still waiting for the aurors to come. He hadn´t sent for them yet. He had just _thought_ about doing it and been too busy thinking about the fucking blowjob let alone Snape´s praise of it. Surely it had to be the first time ever he had given Neville any compliment at all?

 

´What if I just left him there? It would be a long time before someone might find him. He didn´t have his wand with him.` His hands went through his hair for a moment. ´No. that would make me just as bad as him and _I_ am no murderer.`

 

“Crap.” He spoke out loud as he had made up his mind. He stood up legs shaking with nerves as he unlocked the door again and reentered the room. Snape was sitting up where Neville had left him with his eyes closed apparently asleep. Neville shifted slightly on the spot.

 

“Miss me already Longbottom?” Snape drawled with a sneer. “Or perhaps you came back for more cock?” Neville could feel himself turning scarlet at these words, whether it was anger or embarrassment he wasn´t sure right now, and he sucked in a deep breath before answering. 

 

“Are you going to tell anyone about this?” Snape finally opened his eyes and met his student´s nervous gaze.

 

Snape watched Neville for a moment roll his wand between his fingers before responding. “Who would believe me _if_ I did Longbottom? Your friends? The Order? The Death eaters would of course _love_ to hear it. Maybe they would even seek you out themselves if I were to indulge them the secret of your _talents_.” He smirked at his student, who did his best to meet his eyes without shivering.

 

“I saved your life Snape. You might want to be grateful for that.” He spat at him. Snape shifted around. 

 

“I didn´t _ask_ you to do anything for me Longbottom. You practically threw yourself at me. Did I _ask_ you to fucking do just that? No, I did not!”

 

Neville hesitated for a moment before asking the next on his mind. “Did you want to die?” Snape didn´t respond at first and merely resumed to his cold stone face all of his students knew all too well from class.

 

“Stop pretending to give a damn Longbottom, it´s pathetic. But then again, you _are_ a Gryffindor, even though one might not think it…” Taking in the reddish color forming on Longbottom´s face he continued. “Personally, I always thought that Hufflepuff suited you better, that´s really were the ´trash of wizards end up mostly.”

 

Neville thanked God that he didn´t have much of a temper really, he knew Snape provoked everyone and he himself had fallen for that so many times when he was younger that he had learned to resist it better by now. He took a very deep breath and exhaled. “What the hell are you doing back here anyway with that potion in your body? Did you come to rape a student? You´re sick enough to do that I guess. It´s probably the only way for you to get laid anyway.” He shot back at Snape.

 

Snape sneered and turned a paler shade of white at these words, coming from this student. Longbottom had grown some balls, that much was certain. “I came back to get something I left behind in this very room. I was not aware I had taken the potion. Sometimes the Dark Lord spike our drinks to provoke exactly just that reaction you spoke of; to get us really desperate where we finally end of raping to stay alive. It´s one more way for him to make us stay on his side.” Snape said. ´Why the hell did I just say that to Longbottom? What´s wrong with me? I need a diversion.´

 

“The aurors are taking their time, that´s not like them. Maybe you should practice your Patronus a little more.” The professor drawled trying his best to make it _not_ sound like a question. Neville shifted his feet slightly, a gesture which Snape noticed of course causing his lips to turn upwards. “You didn´t alert them.” It wasn´t a question. “Why not?” Snape could not hide his curiosity any more. “I killed the headmaster, what reason would you have for holding me here Longbottom? Unless you want a sex slave, considering what you did earlier…” 

 

“Then I assure you that you would be the last person I would ever run to. Hell, I would even take a girl first.” Longbottom let slip out.

 

“So you´re gay then?” Snape pushed Neville further. He blushed and leaned against the wall to do something with himself to make the awkwardness disappear.

 

“None of your bloody business Snape.” Neville tried to sound confident again, but failed miserably. Snape laughed. Neville realized he had never heard this before and wondered why that was. He knew that Snape didn´t have many friends, if he had any at all. 

 

“You should have said something Longbottom. All those hours alone together in detention could have been so much more fun after you turned 15…” Snape laughed again.

 

“Is this how you ´get some´, taking advantage of students who fear you? I knew you were sick Snape, but really…” “I have never in my life forced myself on a student Longbottom!” Snape growled. 

 

“Then why would you want to start now? With me of all people? There are plenty of gay students here.” ´Oh my God. Why did I just say that? I haven´t even told my friends, other than Seamus yet.´

 

Snape cursed himself at this moment. Neville watched his professor’s internal battle with interest for a while waiting for an answer that never came. “Maybe Harry is _not_ really the reason why you´ve been so hard on me, huh Snape? Maybe you _fancy_ me. Maybe you wanted me to blow you, or more even…” Longbottom couldn´t believe what he had just let slip out of his own mouth. This was so not like him, especially not in the presence of the man who had made his life here at Hogwarts a living hell.

 

´Was Snape blushing?´ “I repeat. You´re pathetic Longbottom. I let you suck me off and one moment later you beg me to practically marry you. “ 

 

“I´m not the pathetic one here, professor. I have _your_ wand. I saved _your_ life.” Snape got up and stretched his legs a bit. Neville held on to his wand tighter but didn´t move while watching Snape closely walking around the room.

 

“So, why haven´t you sent for the troops yet Longbottom?” He required for the second time. 

 

“Why did you murder him?” Neville shot back.

 

“That´s not how a question is meant to be answered, with another question that is.” Snape sneered.

 

“Well since I am the one with the _wands_ , I get to run things around here Snape.” Neville smirked this time and Snape looked taken aback but only for a short moment.

 

Snape must have realized that he was not leaving until Neville had his bloody answers. “Yes.” 

 

“Yes, what?” Snape scowled.

 

“Yes, I murdered him.” Neville felt his chest tighten by now and his eyes began to sting, he tried to not focus on Snape´s movements for a while to prevent tears from escaping his eyes.

 

“I can´t believe this.” Neville close to whispered. Snape made a sound with his tongue. “Why would you do that? He was your friend and your colleague.”

 

Neville seemed to be talking to himself by now and Snape made his move and threw himself towards Longbottom. They ended up against the stonewall fighting for Neville´s wand. Neville grabbed Snape´s left wrist so he could not use that hand while Snape´s other hand had Neville´s by the wrist against the wall. They stood there awkwardly as Snape pushed Neville against the cold stone.

 

“Let my hand go Snape!” Neville spat. Snape smirked and pushed harder. 

 

”Is that really what you want Longbottom?” The professor shifted his hips and pushed them against Neville who nearly dropped his wand. ´Fuck´, he cursed in his head.

 

“You´re disgusting Snape.”

 

“Mm, then why is your cock currently saluting me?” He leaned in and whispered causing Neville´s breath to be caught somewhere in his throat.

 

Snape grinded his hips against Neville´s member again and this time Neville gasped. “Stop that!” Snape licked the shell of Neville´s right ear earning himself a barely audible moan from his student. 

 

“Are you sure you want me to stop, Neville?” Snape whispered.

 

´Dear God, this is so not happening to me. Professor Snape is using his own body to pet me and I like it!` Neville was panicking. “Would you like me to return the favor to you, Neville?” Snape had stopped moving as he was listening to Neville´s increased breathing instead and enjoying this very moment immensely.

 

“If you promise to put down the wand I´ll suck you off. I promise to not spill a drop of what you have to offer me…” Neville´s head went spinning now, he could no longer concentrate on fighting Snape off and the professor had clearly realized just that and let go of his wand hand. Instead of overpowering his student he let his hand drop to Neville´s right thigh and began caressing it. Neville blushed. He wanted to stop Snape, this was so very wrong for too many reasons.

 

Snape let his hand glide slowly towards Neville´s groin and stopped before reaching the strained cock. “Tell me to stop and I will, Neville.” He said softly. Neville didn´t say anything. He had forgotten how to speak.

 

Neville felt warm lips against his jawline and his legs nearly gave up holding his body standing, but Snape didn´t let him fall. Instead he pushed him harder against the wall as his hand began petting him through his pants. “Unzip them for me.” Snape said. He could have done it, but he wanted to make sure that Neville wanted this from him.

 

“We can´t…” Neville let out. “It´s not right.” 

 

“You´re 16, it´s not illegal and you clearly want me to.” Snape replied in a husky voice Neville had never heard before. “Tell me to stop. Say no, and I will end this right at this very moment. You have my word, Neville.”

 

“Please don´t. Please don´t say my name like that. I can´t think.” Snape smiled into Neville´s neck before placing a kiss there.

 

Snape gently grabbed his student´s face turning it towards him. “Look at me.” It wasn´t an order.  Neville did it. “You´re flushed.” 

 

“Fuck you. Stop making fun of me Snape…”

 

“I would never in this kind of situation, Neville.” Snape spoke softly, it sounded as though he had borrowed a voice from somebody else.

 

Neville stared into the eyes of the man he hated more than anyone else, not counting Voldemort of course, and tried to calm down his own breathing. He could feel his own body´s betrayal. His left hand let go of Snape´s wrist and he dropped it to his fly and unzipped his pants. ´If this is some kind of trick and he laughs, I swear to God I will kill him right this instant.´ Neville thought.

 

“Pull them down for me.” Snape whispered to his right ear. Neville began shaking from the effect Snape´s voice had on his body. He used both his hands to get the task done, wand still in his right hand. He met Snape´s eyes again before Snape slowly kneeled in front of Neville. ´Oh sweet mother of God. Neville what are you doing with this man?´

 

Snape placed a hand on either side of Neville´s hips and leaned in to breathe in the musky scent of the younger wizard. His own cock throbbed with excitement. He pulled down Neville´s boxers and let out a gasp of his own at the sight that met him. `Dear God Longbottom´s prick is at least 9 inches. I have died and gone to heaven.´ Snape licked his lips and felt Neville´s eyes on top of his head and looked up as he let his  tongue dart out to taste the pre-cum. 

 

He sucked in the head and Neville let out a moan of pleasure watching his potions professor. Snape bobbed his head up and down, before taking as much as he could of the prick inside his warm and wet mouth. “Yes!” Neville´s mouth said on its own. Snape moaned on his prick and Neville shivering from the vibrating sensation.

 

Snape took Neville´s sac into his hand and messaged it causing Neville to thrust deeper into his mouth. Snape moaned again. Neville thrust once more and yet another moan was rewarded. He couldn´t take it any longer, he had lost his mind, he was sure of it. And he grabbed Snape´s hair in a firm grip, which surprisingly was not greasy at all, and he began thrusting more and harder into Snape´s mouth. He was sure he was making it harder for the man below him to breathe but since Snape had made no effort to stop this he didn´t either.

 

In fact Snape seemed to enjoy having his mouth fucked thoroughly by him. Who was he to deny him that? Snape moaned again and Neville was sent flying towards orgasm. When he came he let go of Snape´s hair permitting the man to move away. Instead of doing just that, Snape continued sucking him off and swallowing the warm fluid allowing Neville to ride out his orgasm. Finally Snape got up making sure to support Neville´s weak present form and caught his eyes. He moved closer to Neville and touched his right cheek. “You taste absolutely divine.” He said, causing Neville to close his eyes.

 


	3. Joined Desires

Neville felt Snape´s hot, yet surprisingly not disgusting breath against his naked skin near his right ear, when he opened his eyes to look at the man who had just given him the best orgasm he has ever had. Oh, the irony. If this wasn´t fate´s ugly face laughing at Neville´s young and confused one, then he didn´t know what the hell it was.

 

Neville´s breathing was rapid and his left hand twisted slightly as if it wanted to move upwards to gently tug away a stray strand of hairs clouding Snape´s one eye. His brain won that battle. Thank God. Could you imagine what Snape would have done, if he had given his hand that kind of permission? He would have laughed, mocked, and Neville would never hear the end of it; maybe Snape would have continued mocking him through letters once in Azkaban. ´Knock it off you twit, Neville, as if _he_ would ever write to you, even if it were to ridicule you.´

 

The world stopped once they made eye contact. Neville wasn´t sure how long they had been standing this was, and his voice had been snatched by an owl and flown out the window. Not that there had been any owls around or that there was a window in here at all. ´Your mind is playing you Neville, concentrate.´ He told himself.

 

“Can you stand?” Snape´s voice rang somewhere in Neville´s ears. ´That was an odd sort of question, why shouldn´t I be able to stand? I´m a grown man!` Neville then realized that Snape was still holding his body up, pressed against the cold stone so he wouldn´t fall to his ass. ´Could this get any more embarrassing, really?´ Neville cleared his throat.

 

“I think so.” It said. ´Wait, that wasn´t what it was supposed to say. Damn it!´

 

Snape nodded and slowly let his former student go. He did leave the school, so he really wasn´t his teacher anymore, not that Neville had chosen potions this year anyway. Thanks to Snape he sucked at it. Well, maybe that wasn´t really true, but it made him feel slightly better deceiving his mind this way, instead of admitting to being a stupid, non-worthy piece of …

 

“Stop that Longbottom.” Snape drawled, sounding bored all of a sudden, once Neville was supporting his own long limbs against the wall.

 

“I didn´t do anything!” Neville snapped back. Snape made sure his own clothes were in order before answering.

 

“Please, you were telling yourself off. You´re clearly forgetting _who_ is standing in front of you, Longbottom. You´re an _open_ book sometimes.” He smirked and Neville´s cheeks reddened.

 

`There it was again, him calling me stupid.´ Neville was going to tell the potions master off but Snape spoke again. “You´re not stupid Longbottom. You just lack confidence. However, taking in mind how many times I have to _repeat_ myself in saying exactly this, might change my mind about that.” Neville scowled. He didn´t know _why_ , because it sort of sounded like some kind of compliment had just escaped Snape´s mouth and landed on him attaching itself to his brain as if trying to get in there and stay the night, or maybe even longer than that.

 

Neville seemed to be having another conversation with his own mind, which Snape ignored. “I need my wand back Longbottom.” Neville snapped back to reality his eyes narrowing.

 

“No.” His mouth retorted on its own. Snape took a deep breath.

 

“ _Please_.” He then added.

 

“You know I can´t do that Snape. You killed someone; you should go to Azkaban for it. It´s only fair.” Neville had gotten his voice back and along with that his confidence. Snape breathed in and out slowly a few times. He knew that Longbottom would never return his wand to him, unless he told him the truth. He could lie of course, but there was no time, Potter _needed_ that Sword eventually and he could not help him from a wizard´s prison. He knew that, and he sighed. He needed Longbottom to be brave; he needed Longbottom to be a _Gryffindor_. ´Great you moron, _now_ you need him to be that, after you called him a bloody Hufflepuff!´ Snape sighed again.

 

“Potter needs my help, I promised Dumbledore.” Neville´s eyes narrowed again and then he laughed.

 

“You must be desperate Snape, using my friendship to Harry to trick me. Well, it won´t work.” Neville then walked towards the door, his hand was on the knob when Snape´s hand touched it. Not hard, not persisting, just touching.

 

“I can prove it.” Snape said, meeting Neville´s eyes.

 

“How?” Was the only reply that came.

 

“My memories.” Snape responded flat out.

 

Neville realized that Snape´s hand was still covering his own and he looked down to it, Snape did too. ´Snape hasn´t tried overpowering me since before he offered to give you a... You can say it, call it for what it was, a blowjob. Right, before he gave you a blow, then. Why would he lie? Well, of course he would lie, he is trying to stay out of prison, you fool.´ Neville didn´t know what to do and Snape sensed it. “I understand you not trusting me, Longbottom.” Neville snorted. “And I have never offered anyone else, other than Albus, the insight to my mind. This is a way to stay out of prison for now, yes, but it is also an act of trust.”

 

Neville´s eyes widened. “I trust you.”  He added.

 

Neville´s mind went haywire. _Those_ words coming from _that_ man spoken to _him_ of all people. Surely it must be part of whatever trick he is playing on him right now. Neville´s stomach flipped over. Snape´s hand still hadn´t moved from his, and the skin seemed to burn from the touch. His cock twitched. ´Wait, what? Why the hell would it do that?! Hormones Neville, you´re a teenager. It´s _normal_ to react like this in awkward situations. Yes, _that´s_ what it is.´

 

Snape smirked as if he had read Neville´s mind, and Neville flushed three shades of red. “Really Longbottom?” He demanded to know.

 

“Really what?” His voice low and slightly shaken. Snape moved closer and Neville took a step back and reached the stone wall once more. Snape took another step. He smirked. Neville froze.

 

“Would you like another?” Snape purred. ´Wait, Snape does not purr. Idiotic mind.´

 

Neville´s mouth felt dry, no words were coming out. He knew he had to respond so he told his head to shake ´no´. It didn´t. But Snape got his answer anyway so it seemed, because he once more fell to his knees in front of Neville. ´Bloody brain of a teenager.´ Neville bit down hard and took a deep breath, trying to speak again. He failed.

 

Snape unzipped Neville´s pants and began pulling them down. ´Fuck.´ “Will you let me do the work this time then?” Snape asked casually; as if this was the most natural thing the two of them could ever do together.

 

“W-what do you mean?” Neville managed to produce. Snape pulled down Neville´s boxers and his cock sprang free from its prison. Snape took a deep breath.

 

“As much as I enjoyed you fucking my mouth, I would like to do this on my own this time.” Snape´s tongue darted out to lick the slit of Neville´s hard cock free from pre-cum. Neville fought to _not_ jerk his hips towards the hot mouth. Snape smirked up at him and their eyes met.

 

“For someone who lacks confidence you seem to be very insisting on taking charge?” He sucked the head without removing his eyes from Neville´s. The younger man flushed at this sight. He had never been more turned on than right now, having Severus Snape of all people, kneeling before him with his cock in his mouth while looking up at him.

 

Snape sucked again and Neville´s eyes closed briefly before gazing down on Snape again. The older man´s eyes seemed to change by now, as if seeing Neville this confident turned him on. ´That couldn´t be it, could it? Why else would he do this again? He is doing it for you to trust him, Neville. This is Snape. The man never does _anything_ for others because he wants to.´ A pop sounded and Neville wondered if a house elf had apparated here, but it was only Snape who had released the cock he was molesting. “I´m doing it because we both want it, Longbottom. Not because I want out of here. Do you want me to stop or finish you off?” Snape had the annoying habit of knowing what Neville´s mind was thinking. ´I really _am_ an open book to him.´

 

“Don´t.” Snape licked the back of the huge cock from root to tip.

 

“Don´t what?” The tongue played with the slit again.

 

“Gods… Don´t stop.” Neville was rewarded with a trip inside the warm mouth, all the way back to the throat, then Snape moaned and sent lovely vibrations to his cock.

 

“Don´t stop what?” The potions master pushed on.

 

A hand ran up and down the slick cock while the tongue worked it´s magic on the head. Neville´s legs shook and a deep moan escaped his body. “.. don´t stop… sucking my… cock…” Neville was in heat like a pair of black pants clinging on to someone in the hot sun on the warmest day of the year. Snape sucked him hard and Neville growled, fighting to remain still and let the older man work his cock like he had requested.

 

“You like me sucking your cock?” Neville answered with a moan. “Do you want me to give you pleasure? To give you the best orgasm you´ve ever had?” Neville´s lost the battle as Snape deep-throated him again and he had to trust. Snape moaned and Neville growled. He needed more, he needed to come, and this was torture.

 

“S-so… g-good… please…” Neville´s words made Snape moan louder over his cock. Snape sucked on two fingers before he licked the gorgeous, young cock saluting him again.

 

“Spread your legs.” ´Wait, what? N-no, I don´t bottom! I tried that once with Seamus and I hated having something inside me, never again.´ Neville´s legs moved and Snape´s fingers massaged the tight entrance while sucking the head.

 

“NGuuuh…” Neville let out as Snape pressed the first finger inside. The mouth left his cock and Snape looked up. Neville had watched every move he had made, he was glued to the sight of it all and he therefore met Snape´s eyes like it was nothing.

 

Snape pushed another finger inside, Neville flinched slightly and as if Snape knew, he chose that moment to suck the sac into his mouth and Neville screamed out in passion while Snape was stretching him with a third finger. “FUCK.” Neville yelped as his prostate decided to take part of the game suddenly. Snape released the sac and pulled out his fingers standing up.

 

“Take me out.” Neville must have looked confused because Snape added. “Take out my cock.”

 

Neville fought to get his voice out through his mouth and his brain to get his body to push Snape away. This was going way too far. He had to stop this, to say no. He looked to his hands, wand still in one of them. “Just say the word and I will stop.” He said, obviously reading Neville once more. `Do I want him to stop? What if I die soon and this is my last chance to have sex? Oh my god, please tell me that having sex with Snape is not something I really want, is it?`

 

“N-no…” Neville´s husky voice stated as he pocketed his wand and made his shaking hands reach down to free the cock of his former teacher. Snape´s eyes never left Neville´s face, as if searching for any hesitation at all should it return. Snape sighed as he felt big hands surrounding his hard member. Neville tentatively gave it a light squeeze earning a deep groan from the older man.

 

“Turn around Longbottom.” He said. Neville met his eyes.

 

“No.” He replied firmly. “I ..” Snape searched Neville´s face again but found no hesitations. “If we´re going to fuck… you had better call my Neville…” He glared at Snape as he spoke as confident as he could muster up. Snape smiled. `Wait, Snape does not smile, does he? Yet, something was smeared across his face now that could very well resemble a smile to Neville.`

 

“Turn around so I can fuck you, _Neville_.” Neville´s stomach was overrun by butterflies from the way Snape had addressed him. He decided that he liked his name coming from his lips.

 

“Yes, professor.”  Neville caught a glimpse of Snape before turning face, was it lust? Snape grabbed Neville´s hands and placed them above his head onto the stone wall and he used his knees to part his legs.

 

“I need a wand.” Neville was about to say ´no´ when Snape spoke again. “Unless you wish to suck on the fingers I just pulled out of your ass I need to clean and lubricate them to make sure I don´t harm you.”

 

Neville flushed, hesitated but took out the wand, casting a cleaning and lubricating spell to Snape´s fingers and tugged the wand back into his ropes. `Snape has still not made another move to grab a wand, was he telling the truth, that he really was trying to help Harry? God, stop thinking about Harry now, he´s not your type.´ Snape knelt in front of Neville´s buttocks. “W-what..?” He wanted to ask him something when he felt his ass cheek parting. `Oh my god…` “Snape…?” 

 

“I thought we agreed to be on first name basis by now…” Neville yelped when he felt a wet tongue rimming his puckered hole.

 

“Fuck… Severus…” The tongue wanted entrance and Neville relaxed and was rewarded. Severus moaned as Neville bucked onto the intruder. “N-no one has ever… fuck yes…” Severus liked that statement and teased him some more before standing up coating his cock from what was left on his fingers.

 

Severus stood closer to Neville rested left hand on his hip the other guiding his cock. He pushed gently and Neville drew in a very, very deep breath. “Want me to stop?” He asked. Neville shook his head. He wasn´t sure what the hell was going on. He had tried this before and didn´t like it. Surely it would be much, much worse with this man of old people?

 

Severus moved the left hand to Neville´s stomach as if wanting to make the younger male relax. It worked, and Severus pushed the head inside pausing to let Neville adjust. “Are you a virgin? Gods you´re tight..” Severus breathed.

 

Neville shook his head and pushed down onto Severus´ cock. Severus took the sign and pushed further inside and when he was met with only moans he didn´t stop until he was buried to the hilt. “Fuck yes..” Severus let out not knowing he had said it, causing Neville to grin.

 

“Too much for you Severus?” He responded with a thrust and Neville screamed with pleasure. `Wait, I like this?´ Severus set a pace of deep and hard thrusts. `YES I DO!´ Neville agreed. “Gods Sev… S-sooo good…” Another thrust. “Nguuuh.. Don´t… you dare… stop…” Severus stopped causing Neville to slam down hard onto his cock. Severus growled and stilled Neville´s hips.

 

“Are you always so loud Neville? Your noises alone…” He stopped speaking having realized what he was admitting to.

 

“.. almost tipped you over?” Neville offered with a grin, not even hiding it from the older wizard. “Not like you´re Mr. quiet yourself, is it?” Severus began moving slowly when Neville squeezed his cock using his muscles.

 

“Fuck Neville… you better bloody well stop that now…”

 

“What, this?” Neville asked and squeezed again. Severus growled. “You better resume to fucking me then… it´s one or the other…” Neville admitted, feeling hornier than ever and he really needed to come soon.

 

Severus decided that fucking would be his choice and began thrusting again almost hitting Neville´s prostate every time. “Y-yes! God… Sev´rus… Harder…”

 

“Mhff… You´re a right slut aren´t you Neville…. You  love it when I fuck you…” Severus´ words drove Neville insane with lust.

 

“YES!…”

 

“Mm… My own, little Gryffindor slut… that´s… very… GOD…. Intriguing…”

 

“Mm… Please… I´m gonna… Nghuuh… Yes… please Sev´rus…” Severus nearly lost it then from Neville´s begging. “God yes… I´m c-coming…” Neville´s muscles ripped Severus´ orgasm from his body and he moaned loudly, steadying himself with the use of Neville´s hips to keep from falling over.

 

Severus withdrew from Neville´s body and Neville reached for the wand to clean them, pulling up his pants before sitting down, flinching slightly when he touched the floor. Severus´ legs gave in from under him too and sat beside Neville. He stared at the younger man, smirking again. “I think I may have discovered where your hidden talents lay, Neville …” Neville could only respond with a laugh as they sat there together to regain their strengths.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like a comment soon, so I can tell if I should post more or not.


	4. First Times

 

It seemed like several hours later when Neville finally noticed Severus getting up. ´My god this is awkward. What the _hell_ was I thinking? Well, I know what my cock was thinking. And apparently so did my ass. What was _that_ all about anyway, since when do I like to bottom? I mean, I didn´t just hate it with Seamus, I _really_ hated it. It almost made me throw up afterwards too.´

 

“We need to leave the room and re-enter it.” Severus finally said to Neville, who snapped out of it.

 

“What are you talking about?” Neville simply answered. Severus walked back to where Neville was still very much rooted to the floor, looking slightly flushed still.

 

Severus smirked. “I´m an old man, you´ll have to wait a while for the next round, Neville.” Neville turned scarlet in seconds.

 

“W-what? That´s not what I was thinking about!” He lied.

 

“Sure and I´m in love with Lupin.” Neville felt his stomach turning sour somewhat from this piece of information violently thrown his way, he felt, well weird.

 

Severus enjoyed the show in front of him; Neville really _was_ easy to read. At least to him anyway, being a master of legilimency of course.

 

“Y-you love professor Lupin? Harry always said you hated him back when you went to Hogwarts together...”

 

“No, I do not love Lupin!” Severus interrupted abruptly. “I was being _sarcastic_.” Neville simply stared at him. “Oh fuck off, I _have_ humor you know!”

 

“Really? Who´s did you steal?” Neville provoked smiling. He couldn´t help it, not really. Surely Severus could imagine one of his former students _not_ believing humor was something remotely close to the professor´s vocabulary. In fact Neville was sure, that even if humor itself bit Severus in the ass, he still wouldn´t realize what it was.

 

“Funny today are we, Longbottom?” Severus snarled angrily.

 

“Neville.” The younger boy corrected on autopilot.

 

Severus glared down at him sneering a bit. “We´re not shagging right now, are we?”

 

Neville shrugged. “But we did.” He offered reasonably. The older wizard snorted.

 

“So _what_ we´re supposed to be on first name basis from now on, what about in public then? Don´t you think others will wonder _why_?” Severus quirked an eyebrow, as if challenging Neville.

 

Neville got up with some difficulty since his right ass cheek had found it fit to fall asleep. He messaged it gently, causing Severus to follow the young hand with his eyes with interest. He smirked but Neville was quicker. “No thank you, I don´t need any help with _that_ either.” He responded irritably. Severus snorted again.

 

“Of course you wouldn´t, not when you have already gotten what you wanted, right?” Severus didn´t know why he asked this question, because he was almost certain he did not care whatever the response might be.  Or maybe that´s not true. Maybe he just didn´t _want_ to hear the answer. Neville´s eyes narrowed.

 

“What the hell is _that_ supposed to mean, huh? You…” Neville took a steadying breath. “You think I´m some kind of man´s whore who fucks everybody I get the chance to be with?”

 

Severus chuckled but didn´t speak. “Well, I´m not! I´ve only been with one. Before you that it!” Severus snorted and raised his left eyebrow high. “It´s not like I didn´t have any offers!” Neville almost yelled. “I… I´m just not the type who just…”

 

Severus leaned closer. “That makes no sense, _Neville_. You just let me fuck you. Me, Severus Snape, your former potions professor, whom you hate more than anyone else in the wizarding world.” Neville blushed and Severus went on. “A man who is 20 years older than you, not to mention.”

 

“That´s not…” Neville turned away. “It isn´t why, I …”

 

“What was that? I didn´t hear you with all the mumbling you did.” Severus said.

 

“I said, I wanted to!” Neville´s voice sounded, with no confidence at all and he still didn´t want to have to look at the man in the room with him. Severus chuckled, and this made Neville turn around slowly.

 

”We both know you did it because you were horny and I was there…” He paused. “You _wanted_ to? Please Neville, how thick do you think I am, really? Did you not look into a mirror lately? Now look at me and explain to me why on earth you would choose me of all people, when you could have any man you wanted, really that´s…”

 

“What?” Neville interrupted Severus´ flow of words. “You think I´m…” Neville hesitated. Severus smirked.

 

“Handsome…  Sexy… Gorgeous…?” Severus offered and Neville´s eyes widened. “I´m old not blind Neville…” He finished. Neville had lost the baby fat, and grown very tall. Even though he sucked at sports, his body was fit and judging from the thighs Severus saw full of toned muscles. It made sense, he never stuffed his face like Weasley, may God forbid it, and he loved being outdoors. Even when he wasn´t helping professor Sprout after classes for ´fun´, he walked the green areas of the Hogwarts´ grounds thin, everyone knew that. Neville took in a good portion of air to his lungs before asking the next question.

 

“Are you saying you´re attracted to me?”

 

The potions master laughed, and then shook his head in disbelief. Neville felt his courage failing him. ` _Stupid_ , Neville, how could you ever think he would see you that way.´ “Taking into consideration that I just had my cock up your tight ass, erect that is, I would say that it would answer your question.” Severus drawled and sighed irritably when looking towards Neville. “I´m not a woman, I would have to be _hard_ to perform, and to be that would mean some kind of attraction, yes?” He stated. Severus knew that Neville lacked confidence but this was just ridiculous, but instead of yelling at him he came up with this reply.

 

“Right…” Neville finally said.

 

“So who else did you do then?”

 

“Huh?” Neville asked confused.

 

“You said you slept with one other. Who took your virginity then?”

 

“Who took yours?” Neville shot back, knowing there was no way Severus would answer that. ´That´ll keep the old one quiet.´

 

Severus smirked. “Black was my first.” ´Why in the name of Merlin´s balls are you telling him this!?´

 

“You slept with Sirius!?” Neville almost shouted, he was in shock.

 

“GOD no! His brother Regulus.” Severus almost vomited thinking about sex with Sirius of all people.

 

“Oh. Right.  So you´re gay then?” Neville blanched out forgetting this was Severus Snape he was having this ´casual´ conversation with.

 

Severus stared blankly at him for a moment, then he responded more honest than he would have liked. “I don´t have a preference. _Your_ first? Please tell me it’s not Potter or Weasley, the very thought of having been inside a man, that they …”

 

”NO! They’re my friends only. They´re not gay and they don´t…” Neville swallowed the rest of that sentence.

 

“… Know you´re gay?” Severus finished for him. Neville nodded.

 

“I only told Seamus. I´m wasn´t ready for someone to know.”

 

“You mean you feared they would mind.” Snape said. “They won´t. They´re _Gryffindors_ …” He mocked.

 

“It´s not a bad thing to be!” Neville shot back. “Why do you hate us so much, I thought professors were supposed to be neutral unless it came to Quidditch!?”

 

“So Finnegan was your first?” Severus said avoiding the question. Neville glared at him. “You said he was the only one to know, so I figured he would be.” Neville finally nodded.

 

“So you _do_ like ugly men then?” Severus stated.

 

“What? No I don´t!” Neville refused.

 

“Really? Seamus is not exactly desirable, and me, well…”

 

“I wouldn´t have slept with you if I thought that. You´re a bastard, yes but…” Neville responded.

 

“.. But?” Severus was curious.

 

“I don´t fancy ´pretty boys.´” Severus snorted. “That doesn´t mean I think you´re ugly, and Seamus isn´t either.” Severus surveyed him for a moment, and then smirked.

 

They stood there in awkward silence when Severus repeated himself. “We need to leave the room and re-enter it.” Then added. “I need to find something I came back for, and I require a pensieve from the room so you can see the memories I offered before.”

 

“A sword. You said that earlier.” Neville´s left hand went through his hair. “I have no idea what I´m doing. If the Order finds out about me not turning you in at once, they will…”

 

“They will do nothing of the sort.” He paused. “I never said I needed to find a sword.” His eyes narrowed. “Neville?” The young man turned away biting his cheek.

 

“I…” He stopped speaking and faced Severus again, face flushed.

 

Severus´ eyebrow rose. “You read my mind…” Severus looked shocked to be honest. “That´s not… how?”

 

“Grams taught me legilimency. She said it would come in handy, especially since no one is expecting it from me; I can catch them off guard. Sorry, I didn´t mean to do it, well I did, but… sorry…” Neville waited for Severus to explode, but he didn´t.

 

“So… are you ready to walk a day in my memories then?” Severus drawled as if nothing had happened. Neville walked towards the door, hand on the knob.

 

“You better not be lying.” Neville warned wand in one hand and ready, should anyone see them exit the room.

 

 

*

 

_AN: This story is my baby, the first slash I ever wrote. I chose to write it, because the site I was on; AFF had so few pairings with this couple, 5 or so. And I figured, if I can get something like this right, the rest may follow, yeah? ;-) I´m Danish by the way!_

 


	5. Memories Of The Past

When Neville opened the door and stepped out of the room the hallways were dark and quiet, just like he had hoped for. _´Thank you Morgana, at least I have some kind of luck today.`_ “Come on then, quickly.” That order received him ´the Snape gaze`; sneer and quirked eyebrow style, but Neville felt brave enough to simply roll his eyes at the older man.

 

The door closed and they waited for a minute quietly before Severus opened the door again, Neville hoped that the wizard had asked the room to see to his needs so to speak, thinking about what the two men had been doing today maybe that phrase shouldn´t be used at this very moment, Neville thought shuddering.

_`What the hell was I thinking and what happens when someone finds out about the two of us. Stop it Neville, there is no us and it´s if they find out not when, I doubt it that Severus would tell. Severus, great you twit, now you´re even calling him that in your own damn mind!`_

 

“Hearing voices and talking to yourself are never good signs.” Severus drawled with smirk plastered across his pale face. Neville scowled; he really had to stop doing that.

 

“A man needs to talk to someone intelligent once in a while.” He responded feeling quite satisfied having come up with that, but Severus was obviously not impressed with his sense of humor.

 

“Then I really don´t understand _why_ you would be speaking to yourself.” Neville fought his hand to not slap Severus.

 

“Fuck you.” Neville mumbled.

 

“What was that?” Severus demanded knowing as he had found the pensieve and began taking out the memories he needed.

 

“I said fuck you!” Neville raised his voice so Severus could hear him this time. Severus laughed while he placed down the vial with the last memory on the table which held the pensive too.

 

“I already did, and judging from the noises you practically ruined my hearing with you seemed to enjoy that very much indeed.” Neville walked to stand beside the other man before answering him.

 

“You´re one to talk. You were louder than a woman in labor. Never really pictured you to be a screamer, funny considering who you are, even funnier when you think about who you fucked, don´t you think?” Neville was pleased with his retort, especially since Severus suddenly had color to his cheekbones, only time would tell if it was from embarrassment or anger.

 

Severus glared at Neville. “Should I take that as a compliment?”

 

“What?” Neville asked feeling confused.

 

“The fact that you obviously pictured me having sex with you?” Severus smirked to his left where Neville was standing. The younger man turned scarlet.

 

“That´s not what I meant!” Neville took a deep breath. “Damn it Snape, you always do that!”

 

“Do what?” His eyebrow rose with the intonation of the question.

 

Neville´s hands went up in the air before he rested one in his hair and the other on his hip. “Put words into your students´ mouths to make it mean what you want it to mean; into _my_ mouth!”

 

Neville should have known from the look he received what was coming next. “Would you prefer it, if I put something _else_ there instead?”

 

“You… Arrrgh… You´re impossible… or maybe you´re just a horny, old man…” Neville yelled.

 

“Well, I wasn´t before, not really.” Severus drawled.

 

“Before what?” Neville snapped.

 

“Before we spent this day _together_.” Severus was busy preparing the pensieve and the order in which he would show Neville the memories, so he didn´t see Neville´s face; the shock written across it.

_`Did he just admit that I was the reason that he was now horny? And why in the name of Merlin´s beard do I even care if he is? It´s not like we´re ever, ever going to have sex again, God no, and heaven forbid it. That´s right Neville, you stand your ground, even if it is to pretend you didn´t love having his huge cock up your ass.` Neville sighed. `Oh no you don´t, you are not interested in him. He´s your professor, he´s way too old for you, you hate each other, not to mention he´s a damn murderer.´_

 

“Stop talking to yourself and man up instead!” Severus had had enough. “You have shown me today that you are not the weak ass student you were when you entered Hogwarts the first time. You have not let me intimidate you once, not even before you disarmed me. Any man without confidence would not have done that, so stop acting like a damn queer.” He glanced at Neville. “I´m a murderer, not even Arthur Weasley would have been this relaxed around me. That´s confidence.”

 

Neville knew this was true, but he simply could not explain why he had acted this way at all. It made no sense, because he had always hated his potions professor, not counting the few times he had had those dreams _. ´But we´re not getting into that! That was just a boy being curios, that´s all. It had absolutely nothing to do with his professor´s manly and raw looks, the way he demanded respect everywhere he went, how brilliant of a mind he had, nor did it have anything to do with his dark and sensual voice. Drawl was what he did; there was nothing sensual about it! Fuck.´_

 

Neville licked his lips and stared at Severus, his eyes landing on thin, dry lips before gliding upwards to meet dark eyes. Severus offered something between a smile and a smirk before speaking. “No, I do not kiss. So don´t even this about it.”

 

“Why not?” The words broke out from between his lips before he had the chance to stop them. _´You idiot.´_

 

“It´s too personal.” Was the short reply.

 

“Excuse me? We just had sex and _kissing_ is too personal? What are you, eight?” Severus´ eyes narrowed and he drew in a breath and exhaled it slowly.

 

“Everyone I´ve ever kissed dies.” He said honestly, if only to shut up the young wizard.

 

“Wow. You must really suck at it then.” Neville laughed and leant against the wall watching Severus chest rise and fall rapidly. He was obviously furious.

 

“If you´re quite done, I would like to show you the first memory now?” Neville nodded and wiped away the tears so he could see clearly again. Severus uncorked the vial and poured the liquid memory into the pensieve. “Put your head into it, I will follow you. We can move without being seen or heard. No speaking until we´re done.” Neville nodded again and dropped his head into the substance.

 

_A young girl with flaming red locks ran around in a field with a dark-haired boy. They seemed the same age and they were laughing and chasing butterflies. “Lily this way, I want to go to the river.” The girl stopped and smiled. “Okay Sev, will you show me some more magic then? I´ve been practicing but the Gryffindor first years are not nearly as good as you.” “Of course they´re not.” Lily slapped his arm and he tickled her. They reached a tree by the stream of water flowing beside it and sat down. “I´m glad you´re my best friend Sev, I just wish we were in the same house.” “Me too princess.” He shoved her shoulder with his own to make the awkward moment pass._

They were back and Severus replaced that memory with another and gestured Neville to dip his head again, so he did.

 

_They met up with a young Severus, he looked Neville´s age. They were in a narrow and dark corridor listening outside a door. A women´s voice broke the silence, the voice sounded weird, strained in a way.”…one cannot live…” Neville had a hard time concentrating; he was staring at the young Severus instead, he looked so different, and yet precisely the same._

The scenery changed as two memories seemed to have been combined.

 

_“My Lord that is what I heard.” Voldemort was there, Neville almost went for him, but a hand held him back. “Very good Severus, you will do well with me, I´m sure of it.” “You promise to not harm Lily, my Lord, yes?” Voldemort stared at the younger man. “Not unless I must.” Severus bowed._

Another paired up memory came to view.

 

_“Noooooooooo, Lily. Please forgive me, I´m sorry my love. I never meant to cause this. I´m sorry my princess, I´m so sorry.” The young Severus was holding Harry´s dead mother in his arms in what Neville figured was Harry´s room. He had never seen his professor show any emotions before, let alone cry. To have him share these things with him made him feel, important? It made Severus appear almost human, almost._

The next memory popped up soon after.

 

_“Yes I promise to look out for the boy, to keep him safe. Please just let me do something to help. I don´t want her death to mean nothing.” A young Dumbledore was talking to Severus who was begging and crying. It seemed that Dumbledore allowed Severus to turn into a spy to watch over Harry, to pay for what happened to Harry´s mother. ´So this is why he began teaching? This is why he hates Harry? Because he reminds him of his own mistake that cost Lili her life. Everyone else in the Order thought it was because Harry looked like his father.´_

They returned to the room of requirement once more, and before Neville could speak his mind, Severus had pushed his head back into the pensieve and Neville followed.

 

_“You old fool. I told you to wait for me before trying to destroy the Horcrux. Now look what the hell you have done.” It was weird having to look at two Severus´ at the same age at the same time. ´Like it wasn´t weird to look at a young and an older one!´ ”How long, Severus?” The headmaster asked. “Perhaps a year.” Severus said._

 

Next scenery came into view.

 

_“I assume Draco is the one Voldemort wanted to use to kill me, yes?” Dumbledore asked and Severus nodded. “Then you must take his place.” “WHAT! Have you lost your bloody mind?” The old man held up his hands. “You know as well as I do, if Draco does this his life will change, he can never go back. I´m already heading to the beyond, a few months earlier will make no difference Severus. I must ask this last favor of you, yes?” Severus didn´t speak but he nodded gloomily._

When Neville dropped out of the last memory he vomited onto the floor on Severus´ shoes of all places. Severus leaned over and reached into Neville´s ropes for a wand while he was in shock from what he had just learned. Severus cast a cleaning spell and led Neville to sit down while he conjured a glass of water. Neville took it but didn´t drink. “W-why have you never…” He gulped down half the water. “You carried this around for so many years? You let everyone hate and mock you? This is why you distance yourself from everyone?”

 

“Don´t pretend to care. I brought this on, it´s my own doing and I will pay the price. This is how it must be.” Severus said like it was the easiest thing in the whole world.

 

“You joggled Voldemort and Dumbledore, you protected Harry, you kept a professor job and were head of house? No wonder you are always so pissed off. And students complain about NEWTs and that´s just a few subjects.” Neville shook his head. “You´re incredible.” Severus´ features changed as Neville looked at him in genuine awe seemingly impressed.

 

“Don´t make me out to be someone I´m not Neville.” Neville got up and stood in front of Severus. Their eyes locked. Neville smiled at Severus. Then he hugged him. He didn´t know what possessed him to do it, but after having seen what he had, he knew that Severus needed a hug, maybe he would never admit to it, but with that kind of life Neville figured that human contact was lacking. It was an awkward hug, one-sided and stiff. Neville let go.

 

“Let´s try this again, this time you lift your arms and wrap them around me.” Neville leaned in again.

 

“Neville, this is ridiculous.”

 

“Do it!” And so Severus´ arms were suddenly raised and maybe it would never clarify as a real hug, but it was close enough to satisfy Neville and he released Severus. “What do you need?” His Gryffindor spirit burst out of him. Severus gave a weak sort of smile.

 

“I need you to leave so I can find what I came here for, the less you know the better should you get caught by Death eaters.” Neville stared. “ _Other_ Death eaters then.” Neville nodded.

 

“You will let me know if you need my help?” Severus looked at the young wizard. _´Leave it to a Gryffindor to go from pure hatred, to lust and then to forgiveness and offering friendship in a heartbeat.`_ He simply nodded.

 

“Why are you still here anyway, didn´t school cancel exams and send the students home weeks ago?” Neville nodded again.

 

“Some of us offered to stay behind and help out with the Order. We figured since so many of the members were already gathered around Hogwarts we might as well have meeting of preparation here.”

 

“Makes sense.” Severus spoke. “You should leave now, I already wasted enough time.” Severus sighed when he noticed the hurt look across Neville´s face as he spoke those words. “That´s not what I meant. I didn´t…” He took a deep breath. “I don´t regret it.” Neville couldn´t control the smile he offered and Severus shook his head and snorted. Neville shifted on the spot before heading for the door.

 

“Take care of yourself Severus.”

 

“You too.”

 

“I´ll see you around then?” Neville asked awkwardly.

 

Severus returned Neville´s gaze. “I hope so.” And with that Neville left the room. He had entered the room earlier today with Snape and now when exiting he left Severus behind, fate was funny that way. He really hoped Severus would be alright, but then again why wouldn´t he? He had managed for years before Neville came along, and as he thought about the next time he would run into the older man, he felt butterflies dancing around inside his stomach and smiled.


	6. Remembering Dreams

Neville walked casually into the Gryffindor common room where he was met by two of his best friends, Seamus and Dean. Since Harry, Ron and Hermione had left; the three had become a team and almost never went anywhere alone. It might have been out of fear, but that was of course not something they had ever mentioned to one another, they were after all 16, all three turning 17 during this summer. One could argue that having a raving lunatic threatening the entire wizarding community would allow you to utter the words ´I´m scared´, but these three young men had non-verbally agreed to not talk about that, not right now anyway.

 

Things had been that way for a month now, a very long tiring month of despair, grief and hopelessness. Their cherished headmaster had been murdered and buried, the Golden trio suddenly left everyone behind in wonder; where did they go and are they coming back? The professors didn´t know much more than they did, if they did, well they weren´t sharing the news anyway. On top of that Voldemort seemed to be getting stronger.

 

The Order was torn. Of course everyone believed Harry when he said that Snape was the one who murdered Dumbledore in cold blood, hell, most had been waiting for a moment like this, if only to say ´I told you the git was evil.´ Most were saddened by this too, Snape had been their well friend would be the wrong word to use since the majority really never bothered getting to know him at all, and the few who tried Snape never let into his private life. But he had been their ally at least. Dumbledore had trusted him with his life, and as far as the Order and everyone else knew, that trust was exactly what had cost him his life in the end. Neville knew why Severus had not befriended anyone now, he could relate to _why_ the potions master had chosen the solitude, really he could, but had it been _him_ in his position he would never be able to do the same. He was Neville Longbottom and he needed friends, not a lot of them were necessary for him to have to be content, not when he seemed to have found the right ones.

 

Neville was never one to brag or to be the center of attention, he liked being the one his friends confided in when they were in trouble, felt heartbroken or the opposite. He enjoyed the talks into the early mornings about nothing and everything once in a while. He liked the noise and the quiet too, and he appreciated his friends understanding and respecting his wishes when he wanted to be alone without being bombarded with questions. He was Neville Longbottom and to his friends that was _alright_.

 

Until today Neville had been content with his life, even though his parents were not really ´there´, even though the rest of his family had thought him a squib before attending Hogwarts, even though he had to fight extra hard to learn new magic compared to his friends, even though he was tormented, ridiculed and shouted at by his least favorite professor, Neville had been content.

 

Spending the day with just _that_ said professor; Severus Snape, had changed him or at least his own opinion of his life anyway. The man, whom he thought hated him, found him attractive. So attractive that he had had sex with in fact. The man had even complimented him on his ´talents.´ The man, who never compliments anyone, _that_ man had also trusted Neville with his memories; his private life which only the deceased headmaster had known about before tonight, when Neville had been allowed a small peak inside the mind of the most hated man he had ever known, only outdone by Voldemort himself naturally.

 

Neville hadn´t been paying attention to his friends´ conversation and was rewarded with a slap on his left shoulder from Dean. “Hey Nev, are you with us mate?” Neville blinked.

 

“Sorry, I was just…”

 

“Alrig´ spill. Who´s the lucky one, eh?” Seamus moved his eyebrows up and down and grinned.

 

“N-no one.” Neville mumbled but his friends were not buying it. Neville took a sip of his pumpkin juice absentmindedly, while Seamus spoke again trying to get his distracted friend´s attention.

 

“So I sucked Snape´s cock toda´, ran into ´im in Hogsmeade…”

 

Neville sprayed juice out through his nose and soaked his clothes with this gesture too. Dean had to slap his back to help him stop coughing. “Breathe Nev, just relax mate. Damn it Seamus you nearly killed him, you know how sensitive Nev is about that twit.”

 

“Sorry mate, jus´ trying to get ya´ to notice me.” He laughed. Neville nodded after breathing normally again.

 

“What time did you suck him then?” His friends shared a look. “I was just wondering if it was before or after I had my way with him.” Dean and Seamus snorted with laughter at Neville´s joke _. ´If only they knew. I wonder if they would still be my friend if they did know?´_ Neville smiled but on the inside he was not smiling at all.

 

They spend the rest of that evening talking, joking and playing games before heading to bed. They had an early start tomorrow, as Dean had explained to Neville that they were going home a day earlier than planned, which was fine by Neville, because that meant that the three of them would be spending the entire summer together at Neville´s house. Both Dean and Seamus´ parents would be visiting them there a couple of times. Seamus´ mother didn´t want him to return to Hogwarts at all, but he had put his foot down and she had relented. Dean´s however, trusted him and the school blindly so to them it was not a problem really.

 

*

 

When Neville woke up the next morning Seamus and Dean were still very must asleep. He stretched and placed his hands behind his head trying to recall the dream he had had.

_“Mr. Longbottom, that earned you another detention today. If I didn´t know any better I would say you did it just to have me all alone.” Snape quirked a brow as the rest of the students laughed, his own friends giving him encouraging smiles instead. Neville was so tired of this bullying madness and he straightened up before retorting his angry professor._

_“Oh I´m sorry, I´ve been such a bad boy, professor.” The room fell silent, nobody dared to even breathe. Snape leaned down breathing rapidly eyes blazing with fire. Wait a minute, was that lust Neville saw? Snape was turned on by this? Neville waited for the consequences to his provoking attitude._

_“Get out of my classroom this instant, Longbottom.” He spat and pointed to the door beside the one leading to where Snape kept the potion´s ingredients for his classes. “Wait for me inside and you have better wipe that smile away from your disgusting, Gryffindor face!” He yelled the last words. Spit flew everywhere and some hit Neville´s face, but somehow he was not disgusted by that, he had never been more turned on than at this precise moment in fact. Everyone was staring; even some of the Slytherins looked frightened before Malfoy said._

_“Where should we bury your corpse Longbottom?” That broke the silence and the Slytherins snorted with laughter while the Gryffindors were outraged._

_“BACK TO WORK!” Snape yelled at the top of his lungs, before heading to his private office to meet Longbottom. He turned to his students. “Should I need to come in here to stop any stupidities you might consider ´fun´, I can assure you there will be someone to bury!” The door slammed shot and Neville who was standing up eyeing Snape´s bookshelf jumped._

_“Don´t touch my books, Longbottom!” Neville turned around and gulped as his professor took his seat behind the desk. He felt exhilarated but fearful at the same time; he took a deep breath before deciding to trust his own ability to read people, even though nobody else seemed to be able to do so when it came to this man in particular._

_“Would you like me to touch something else of yours instead, Professor?” He took a deep breath watching Snape carefully. Would he explode or simply ridicule him?_

_“What did you say to me, Longbottom? Did you just…” Snape´s eyes narrowed. “I knew you Gryffindors were pathetic but honestly, offering sexual favors to improve grades… that´s vile, even from you…” The latter then._

_´Think Neville, think. What gets Snape angry?´ He took a moment. ´Of course, stupidity always demands a negative reaction from the man. So how to get a positive one?´ Most would of course state that nothing could make this man positive, but everyone has something, even Voldemort who seems to get off on other people being tortured. ´What do I know about Snape, really? Sure he likes to reticule students but that´s hardly inflicting physical pain, he has always stopped fights when passing them handing out detentions for ´acting childish´. His smirk comes on when another professor asks him for a favor, as if they are annoying him with their mere presence but since they continue to ask him for favors chances are that he actually does them, without being happy to do so, maybe it´s loyalty then. In fact, the only times Neville had ever seen Snape do something right away without another word is when he´s being told to do it. THAT`S IT! Snape is used to following orders, from Dumbledore and from Voldemort too.´ Neville smiled confidently and leaned against Snape´s desk._

_“Come here.” He told the older man, eyes piercing his, awaiting either hell or something else. He watched as Snape took a deep breath, sneered and when he´s about to snap back at him Neville spoke again. “I said get your ass over here Snape!” Snape´s cheekbones looked like they have both been slapped; he might be suffocating too judging from how often his chest moved up and down. Neville´s eyes then followed Snape´s body as it moved from the chair to stand in front of the desk beside him._

_“What the fuck do you think...” Snape started before Neville interrupts._

_“Did I tell you to speak, Snape?” Snape´s mouth did something weird, a motion between a smirk and confusion. “Kneel.” Neville got up from the desk and watched Snape´s eyes widen when he unzipped his own pants and let them fall. Snape is… panting? ´Oh God yes.´ Neville leaned closer to the man´s ear. “Is there something wrong with your hearing?” Neville could hear him breathing and a gasp escaped his teacher´s mouth. He dropped to his knees. `Don´t faint, don´t faint…` “I´m sure you know what to do now. Mm?” `Fuck, how am I still standing up?´ Snape reached up and pulled Neville´s huge cock out and this is when Neville woke up…_

Neville wondered if the real Snape is like that man in his dream, he sighs and walks to the bathroom to take care of the throbbing cock imprisoned in his pajamas, before heading for breakfast and then home closely followed by Dean and Seamus. It´s going to be a long summer if these dreams keeps visiting him every night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you´re enjoying this! Please let me know what you think, I have so many chapters still waiting to be read! I have other stories posted too.


	7. The Sword Of Godric Gryffindor

Breakfast was as quiet as it had been every day after most students had gone home for the summer a month ago, but 12 students from 6th and 7th year, no Slytherins of course, along with the head of houses remained here still, as did professor McGonagall, who was now the new headmistress. She had made professor Flitwick deputy headmaster, which worked out splendid as he too was an Order member.

 

He let his eyes wander off towards the staff table for a minute. _´He should be there. He has earned the right to be, even though I am the only one to know that currently.´_ He sighed heavily. So much had changed in the past two days.

 

Neville did not have much of an appetite this morning nor did anyone else it seemed, but he still forced himself to eat scrambled eggs and toast while drinking milk. “So, we´ve got like 6 weeks of break from school before returning, what do you guys want to do?” Dean asked his two mates, who were the only other Gryffindors there at the table.

 

Neville shrugged. “How about inviting Ginny and Luna to celebrate our birthdays? We turn 17 all three within the summer holidays, might as well enjoy it?” Seamus offered a thumbs up while stuffing his face with more sausages; he could very well pass for a male Weasley come to think of it. Neville tuned out, his mind was trailing off again. Ever since yesterday he had a hard time concentrating. “You guys finish up here. I´m going outside for a while, see you in the carriage, alright?” They nodded, they were used to Neville wandering off by himself, being at war had not made any difference to that habit.

 

He wanted to take one last stroll around the Hogwarts´ grounds before leaving for the summer; he had about an hour to spare until the carriages would be set to go anyway. The warm air caressed his body like a lover who hadn´t seen him for years, he felt at peace at this very moment being kissed by the sun, well as much as one could during wartime that is. He reached the part where the lake met the forbidden forest, during daytime Neville didn´t think the area was dangerous even though everyone else kept away after the return of Voldemort. He leaned against a tree so that no one could see him from the school, when suddenly he heard a female voice from afar. ”Is that Snape?” Neville spun around and saw a dark figure running away from the castle and several students pointing in shock, someone had called for the headmistress too he heard.

 

Before Neville could think about what he was doing his wand was out and a spell emitted from it. A giant, fake dragon flew towards the castle away from the students and teachers who had appeared. It was a spell he had studied from one of his mom´s old books. The dragon began attacking Hogwarts´ stony walls, and bit by bit the one thousand year old school began to give in, not much but enough to distract everyone and for them to focus on vanishing the dragon instead. “Please forgive me for this.” Neville closed his eyes and shook his head at what he had just done. A hand suddenly closed over his mouth and he startled as he stood eye to eye with Severus.

 

“If I remove my hand will you remain quiet?” Severus whispered somewhere close to his right ear, making him shudder slightly from the warm breath playing with his young skin. He finally nodded and Severus let his hand drop. “Follow me.” He whispered, as he went deeper into the forest and Neville´s legs moved after him without being told. They stopped walking and Severus turned to look at Neville. The older man cast several privacy spells before speaking. “Thank you for that.”

 

“You´re welcome. They will never forgive me for it though.” He said gloomily shaking his head.

 

“Who will know?” Severus said raising an eyebrow suggestively and Neville shrugged. “Do you still wish to help Potter?”

 

“Of course I do. What do you need from me?” Severus stared at him for a moment before answering him.

 

“I don´t have much time. The sword I was looking for yesterday; once I found it the room locked me inside and now I have run out of time to hide it. I tried getting out but it seemed to have other plans. It let me out moments ago and the Dark Lord has arranged a meeting in an hour I cannot miss.” He looked at Neville and cast the ´Engorgio´ and the sword grew. “This is the sword of Godric Gryffindor, Dumbledore asked me to hide it because Potter would need it eventually.”

 

“What for?” Neville wondered.

 

“Do you remember the memory about the Horcrux?” He asked.

 

Neville nodded. “It´s a way to split your soul up into pieces.”

 

Severus stared blankly at him. ”How the hell do you know that?”

 

“My mom and dad were aurors; they left behind a billion books on every subject. Mom enjoyed reading about Dark magic, grams told me. I figured since I never will get to know them I could read what they did and kind of get to know what they knew. Stupid I know…” He shifted his feet and looked down to the ground.

 

Severus stepped closer, grabbed Neville´s chin firmly and lifted it upwards. “Stop that! You should never be ashamed of yourself or your feelings.” He snapped. _´You are so much more than most could ever hope to be.´_ Neville felt his cheeks blushing and Severus let go. ”Voldemort made seven horcruxes.” He said flat out.

 

“Seven? That´s insane. Is that why Harry left?” Severus gave a genuine smile, however small it was. _´Neville is far from stupid.´_

 

“Yes. Potter took his friends to destroy them, what´s left of them anyway. Albus had been searching for them, one of them cursed him and… well, you know the rest...” Neville nodded. “The sword can destroy a Horcrux because of the magic stored deep inside it. I gave Bellatrix a copy to put in her vault, once Albus discovered the one here at school was a fake he set out to track the real one down, and it let to Bellatrix. Naturally the Dark Lord wanted to hide the thing that could threaten him; Bella never knew why he wanted her to hide it, being too stupid of course.” Severus paused. “I need you to take it with you until I need it.”

 

Neville spluttered. “W-what? You want _me_ to take the sword of Godric freaking Gryffindor? I c-can´t do that, it belongs here at Hogwarts. What If I lost it?” Severus searched his face and finally nodded. _´It´s too much to ask of a boy of barely 17.  He´s already lost his parents, he cannot lose his grandmother too. Naturally he´s scared of what might happen if Voldemort finds out. He will come after him too.´_

 

Severus made a gesture to leave after having cast the ´reducio´ and tugged it inside his robes. Neville placed a firm hand onto his right shoulder to stop him from leaving. “Okay.” _´I promised to help and so help me God I better man up and keep my word. It´s the least I can do.´_

 

Severus met his blue eyes hesitating. ”I should not have asked.”

 

“Give me the sword Severus. Thank you for trusting me with this, you don´t know how much it means to have someone like you…” Neville´s throat went dry.

 

“Someone like me?” He quirked a brow. ´What is he playing at now?´

 

“… One of the bravest men I´ve ever heard of thinks he can trust me to help him… well I´m not about to be stupid enough to pass that opportunity up, am I now?” He smiled at his former professor.

 

“I am far from brave.” He retorted annoyed, retrieving the sword and passing it on to Neville, who placed it inside his robes and cast a spell to glue it there until he could put it away somewhere safe.

 

“Brave.” Neville stated again causing the other man to snort in disbelief.

 

“I don´t know when I will need it back. Will you be at home all summer in case?”

 

“Yup. Dean and Seamus are spending the summer with me for company.” _´He did not ask to know that you idiot, you know he hates it when someone rants on.´_ Severus simply nodded.

 

“I have to go.” Neville offered a small awkward smile. “See you in September then.”

 

“Where?” Neville required knowing.

 

”You´ll see.” He smirked and was gone.

 

When Neville returned to the castle the dragon was long gone and the carriages in place. He dared not glance at the damage done the stone walls, something he had caused. _´I am going to hell for destroying Hogwarts.´_ He gloomily thought when he sat beside Seamus and across Dean in the carriage.

 

*

 

Somehow travelling home had been fast, of course having slept most of the ride there might have something to with that. Neville felt exhausted without having really done anything at all, but since the train was practically empty Seamus and Dean had left Neville alone to rest, to sit in the next compartment.

 

When they reached the platform Augusta Longbottom was already waiting for them there smiling at them. Neville hugged her and she shook hands with his two friends, before the four of them made their way to the Longbottom house together.

 

”Welcome boys, make yourselves at home. Neville will show you around, I will be in the living room should you need me.” Augusta said when they entered. The three young men shared a look and grinned broadly before Neville led the way upstairs to the rooms they would be staying in for the next weeks.

 


	8. A Talk Of Lovers

”What should we write then?” Dean asked his two mates, when he held the quill to the first small piece of parchment ready to be manhandled by his terrible scrawl the following morning after breakfast. Neville was lying on his bed, with Seamus at his feet who was currently reading a Quidditch magazine he had brought with him to the Longbottom house.

 

“Jus´ invite ´em. Not like it´s the bloody minister for magic we´re writin´, eh?” Seamus said without looking up from the poster shoved into the middle of ´Quidditch Fan.´

 

“Yeah. Just say ´hi´, give them the date and time then sign our names. Seamus is right, it´s our friends. It´s not a love letter we´re sending.” Neville chimed in grinning.

 

Dean quirked a brow before resuming to writing the letter. “And what does our Nev know about love letter, praise do tell?” Seamus laughed lazily from Dean´s comment.

 

“Just because I´ve never sent one doesn´t mean I don´t understand the concept of one, you ass.” Neville retorted playfully. Dean sniggered and Seamus closed his magazine.

 

“Speakin´ of _love,_ how are things Dean? Anyon´ special we should harass you abou´?” He grinned broadly at the dark skinned young man, who smirked back.

 

“Nah, the ladies aren´t biting lately.” He said. “Levander asked me out, but I´m not interested in sluts or stupid girls, and since she falls into both categories, that kind of rules her out, even though she´s pretty enough.” He winked.

 

“Arh, not really me type.” Seamus said with a disgusted facial expression.

 

Neville snorted. “No, ´cos she´s got tits.” Dean laughed along with Neville.

 

“I´m not gay, I just go´ tired of females righ´ now. Maybe if the righ´ one came along.” He shot back. Neville looked at Dean.

 

“She´s not my type either.” He admitted. Seamus shifted on the bed without looking at Neville. “I don´t like tits.”

 

Dean laughed at this statement and Neville held his breath. “Well more pussy for me then!” _´Was this his only reply? Did he not care that I´m gay?´_ Neville exhaled and joined in laughing.

 

 Seamus watched his friend settle his nerves. “Told ya´ he wouldn´t mind.”

 

Dean frowned. “You thought I would mind you being gay? Why would I mind that? As long as it´s not my ass you fuck I don´t see the problem.”

 

Neville snorted. “Don´t worry, you´re too _pretty_. That´s really not my type.”

 

“Oi!” Seamus yelled tossing the pillow from behind his head at Neville. Dean watched the exchange.

 

“What!? You two shagged?” Neville simply nodded, and Seamus added as he saw Neville give permission to speak about it.

 

“I trained ´im.” He winked at Dean.

 

“Oh my God, why did I not know about this?” Dean asked shocked.

 

“Didn´t know you wanted front seat tickets to the shows.” Neville sniggered.

 

“Argh, that´s just nasty Nev, nasty.” Dean shuddered. “Who… no, I do not want to know!”

 

“Both bottomed, although Nev prefers to ´lead the way,´ so to speak.” Seamus said grinning. Dean hid his head in his hands for a moment shaking it slightly, after having sent the owl away with the letters to Ginny and Luna.

 

“So Nev.” Seamus said and stared at him.

 

“What?” He narrowed his eyes in suspicion.

 

“Are you going to tell us his name _now_?” Dean finished for him.

 

“Nothing to tell really.” He shrugged.

 

“Oh, come on mate. Give us the juice.” Seamus pushed.

 

He hesitated _. ´What the hell am I going to say? They´re not going to buy some lie, they know me too well.´_ “I… I can´t tell you his name… not yet…” He looked from Dean to Seamus as they shared a look. “I don´t even know if… I´m pretty sure he does not want me…” He finished _. ´Why did I say that? It´s not like I want him at all, it was just sex. Sure he´s got dark hair like I prefer,  his eyes are deep like the ocean, his voice sensual, he´s smart, one of the best wizards I have known, I have dreams about him involving nudity, he´s brave…´_ He sighed closing his eyes in realization. _´Fuck.´_ He ran his hand through his hair.

 

“You fancy him?” Dean asked studying his friends from across the room.

 

Their eyes met. “I… I don´t know… it´s… complicated… I used to hate his guts..” Neville looked away.

 

“What do ya´ mean Nev? Tell us, mate. Ya´ don´ have to say his name.” Seamus asked in concern, he had never seen Neville looking like this before. “Oh God, it’s not Malfoy, is it?”

 

“Noooo! I told you, I´m not into pretty boys.” Neville refused.

 

“Malfoy is pretty?” Dean made a gagging noise.

 

He sighed before speaking. “Well… for one thing this guy… he´s older…”

 

“One of you has to be older than the other.” Dean reasoned and smiled. Neville returned the smile. He appreciated what Dean had tried to do.

 

“More than ten years my senior…” _´Double that. God.´_ He waited for the reaction. Seamus spoke first.

 

“Fuck Nev, does he have a friend? Think of the _experience_ he has. God…” Dean snorted and Neville laughed in relief.

 

“Look Nev, if he makes you happy, then fuck age. Unless he´s like 50 or something. He´s not, is he?” Dean said.

 

“Noooo, he´s not 50. That´s just nasty Dean!” Neville replied. “He´s… in his 30´s…” _´Late…´_

 

Both Dean and Seamus stared at him with their mouths open, Neville gulped. “That´s so fuckin´ hot Nev. Really, does he have a hot friend?” Seamus winked.

 

“How far did you go with this Mr. X then?” Dean quirked a teasing brow.

 

Neville fiddled with the blankets without answering. “No way, ya´ fucked him? Woa Nev..” Seamus asked. Neville shook his head and Seamus´ grin widened. “Well, smack me twice an´ call me Morgana, since when do ya´ bottom Nev, eh?” He laughed.

 

“It just happened…” Neville admitted. “It´s not like I could resist with that tongue of his anyway…” _`God why did I just say that?´_ Dean snorted. “Sorry mate.”

 

“Nah, it´s okay, I don´t mind. I´m used to Seamus talking about how nice it feels being rimmed so I´m not exactly a girl about this type of conversations.” He laughed. “I just have to get used to _you_ talking about men. Fuck Nev, I always thought you fancied Luna.”

 

“What? Ha, no way she´s just a friend.” He promised. _´This is awesome, my two best mates being supportive. They wouldn´t be if they knew who, though. Do I really fancy Severus? God, that´s just Universe´s way of laughing at me. Falling for the man who´s hated me for six bloody years.´_

 

“Doesn´t matter anyway, I´m not his type.” He added.

 

“He shagged ´ya, ´course ´ya his type, Nev.” Seamus stated.

 

Neville shrugged. “Yeah, best freaking orgasms I ever had too, but he will never be interested. He´s not dating material…”

 

“Oi, should I take that the wron´ way, eh?” Seamus teased. Neville offered a smile before placing his hands over his head. “`Ya got it bad, Nev?”

 

“I didn´t know until now that I was _interested_ in him. I can´t get him out of my head, and it´s distracting and wrong.”

 

“Why is it wrong? Unless he is family then I don´t see the problem Nev.” Dean offered.

 

“We´re not supposed to be together.” Neville snorted at his own words. “And we´re definitely _not_ together.”

 

“Well. Does he want to meet again? Then meet with him, let him get attached to you and see where it leads.” Neville laughed.

 

“He does not get _attached_. He´s not that sort of man, really… If you knew who…” ` _Fuck, you said too much, shut up right now Neville.´_

 

Seamus sat up immediately. “We know him?”

 

“Fuck… Can you just… forget I told you that… Please… I don´t want to… He won´t like it, and I´m not ready to let go of _whatever_ it is we have, _if_ we have anything at all…”

 

“It´s not me dad is it?” Seamus teased. Neville snorted and shook his head. Then they both nodded in agreement.

 

“So. Your turn Seamus!” Dean changed the angle of the conversation and Seamus grinned.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love the Gryffindor males! They´re so cute! Hah.


	9. The Wrath Of Voldemort

”My Lord I have not been able to track down Potter. All I know is that he took Granger and the youngest Weasley male with him somewhere.” He paused without looking up to meet Voldemort’s eyes, knowing this would not be favorable. “Maybe they simply ran away. It wouldn´t be the first time Gryffindor bravery failed someone.”

 

The snake-like creature, formerly known as Tom Marvolo Riddle, walked silently and almost casually about, as if he had not just tortured three of his own allies for failing to meet his demands. His gaze rested on Severus for a moment before commenting on his statement. “Severus, my friend, you and I both know that Potter would never do such a thing. You said it yourself, he craves the spotlight I myself have been foolish enough to cast upon him.”

_´He has always hated to be famous, but I would never give you the pleasure of knowing that, you bastard.´_ Severus thought. “Perhaps I need to offer you a reminder of what is at stake here Severus? Just to make you try harder.” Voldemort lowered his wand towards the kneeling potions master.

_´Don´t bite down; protect your tongue.´_ “Crusio.” Severus fell over onto the wet and soiled ground twitching in agony and grave pain, trying his best to control his mouth. Many years of practice as the plaything of Voldemort´s rage had taught him a technique to lessen the pain somewhat, not that he was in any way near immune, no one was.

 

The pain ceased  to exit after what felt like hours, but really was perhaps only ten very long minutes, and Voldemort moved on to Crabbe, before excusing Severus from the rest of the meeting. He limped away biting down hard to force himself to not make any noises that would reveal his weaknesses, knowing that if Voldemort heard him he might consider it ´fun´ to resume with his punishment.

 

Dealing with this kind of meetings for years had made the man short tempered, anyone of his students could agree to that, but then again who the hell wouldn´t be. It really was nothing short of a miracle that Severus was still on ´Good´s´ side.

 

_´FUCK.´_ He leaned against the front door to the small muggle apartment he had been forced to rent for shelter after being on the run. After all, the Ministry knew where his house was located so that kind of ruled that out for now. His visions blurred and he almost collapsed right then and there. He somehow managed to find his key, unlock the door and get inside before hitting the floor. ` _Fuck, I need to get up. These cuts on my thigh and stomach are bound to make me bleed to death if I don´t heal them.´_ Dealing with his injuries alone was a new ordeal for Severus, prior to this he had always had Albus to that sort of thing, only the major injuries mind you, he would never ask anyone for help, not if he could help it.

 

He tried getting up a couple of times, but to no use, the pain was too severe and his blood loss was beginning to make him loose consciousness. _`I need help.`_ He turned over to his back knowing that the blood would run more freely in doing so, but he had to get to his wand. With much difficulty he grabbed on to it, and with the last piece of energy he could muster up sent his patronus for help, knowing someone might recognize it or even worse it might not be answered. He had not been able to speak any words, so he hoped that whoever found his patronus would have the sense to follow it back here. He embraced the darkness seconds after, after having managed to cast a minor charm to make the blood flow at minimum speed. Hoping that it would be enough.

 

*

 

White light shone in the distance outside the Longbottom house where the three young Gryffindors sat and enjoyed a couple of butter beers in the cool breeze of early afternoon, just inside the wards that Augusta had placed upon the grounds before heading out to visit the neighbor.

 

They were laughing and talking about next week´s plans where the girls had agreed to come to their joined birthday party. Two weeks had already flown by since they had left their sixth year at Hogwarts behind.

 

Two weeks where Neville had had dreams about Severus every damn night, he praised himself lucky to not share a bedroom with Seamus and Dean, they had taken the guest room together, and it seemed only fair when they were the ones who invaded the Longbottom house they had said.

 

“What´s that?” Dean pointed at the light travelling towards them. They all got up making sure to stay behind the wards.

 

“Looks like a Patronus charm.” Seamus stated when it came nearer still.

 

“It´s a doe.” Dean said. “Do we know anyone with that kind of patronus?” He looked to his friends for answers.

 

Neville froze, he knew that doe _. ´Severus. What is it doing here of all places? Surely he knew how dangerous it would be to send it here. He must be in trouble.´_ He gulped. “I know who cast that one.” He admitted and paled when his friends waited for him to go on.

 

The doe stood just inches away from the wards waiting for Neville to react. He took a deep breath. _`What the hell am I going to do? If I tell them about the doe, they will not trust me again, and if I don´t answer it, then…´_ “I need you to go inside the house guys… It’s… Mr. X´s patronus…” He had decided that he had to give them something, but not something that would make them suspect anything.

 

“Whoa Nev, still don´t think he fancies you back, eh?” Dean laughed and it was just the response Neville had hoped for, for his friends to be distracted to leave him alone.

 

“Come on mate, let´s leave Nev to ge´ laid!” Seamus chimed in grabbing Dean and leading him inside. “Don´t come back until morning´.” He winked and Neville offered a small smile before stepping outside the wards to hear what the doe had to tell him. But it didn´t deliver any kind of message.

_´That´s odd. What does it want then?´_ He studied the doe walking towards him, then around him and away from him. He stood rooted to the ground. The doe came back and repeated its actions. “Do you want me to follow you?” He asked more to himself than to the doe. The doe jumped and began walking away from him. Neville hesitated before following. _´He gave me the sword of Gryffindor, if this was a trap he would not have? Would he?´_

_*_

 

Almost two hours later Neville reached a cheap side of London where beggars seemed to rule the streets and he shuddered. The doe had been smart enough to hide whenever muggles were nearby, thus making this trip longer.

 

He glanced up to a four floors building rising or should I say almost falling before him. _´How is this piece of crap still standing?´_ “Please tell me we´re not going inside _that_ building?” He whispered to the doe, but the doe stood there completely still obviously awaiting for Neville to open the door. He sighed and looked at the filthy handle, took out his wand and cast a cleaning spell before touching the damned thing pushing the door open.

 

Severus´ patronus disappeared when the door closed. “What the? ” ´ _FUCK, I am not banging on all of these filthy doors to track him down.´_ He noticed that this floor seemed to have three doors, he studied the first tag on the door in front of him. ´McMullen`, the next one read ´Ruiz´ the last in line ´Derby´. “Not this floor then.” He went a level higher. `Grape`, ´Smith´ and ´Warren´ it said. _´God damned it.´_ He cursed before going higher. ´Diddle´, ´Greenbush´ and the last apartment’s door was ajar clearly empty. He sighed before going to the last floor. The first door had some kind of yellow stripped plastic bands across the door reading ´crime scene´. Neville shuddered somehow knowing this was not at all a good place to be living. The next door said ´Floranza´ and the last one ´Craddleborn.´

 

He had run out of doors. _´Fuck, what if Snape had given up a false name? It was after all a muggle neighborhood.´_ He took a deep steadying breath. “Damn it!” He ran down the stairs again to the front door trying to decide on that to do next. “He needed you here Neville, think, he wouldn´t have sent for you otherwise.” He said out loud. His eyes strayed and he noticed something. _`Is that, blood?´_ His eyes followed the trail leading down. _`Down? Of course you moron, this is Snape, the basement!´_ He almost jumped down the eleven stairs leading to the blue door where there was a bloody handprint on the handle. _´What will I see when I enter? Dear God don´t let him be dead.´_ This time he forgot all about the cleaning spell when he turned the knob and opened the door, wand at the ready.

 

It was dark inside, the curtains were drawn shut and he cast the ´lumos´. He didn´t have to go that far when his feet bumped into something, he looked down and there in a great pool of blood lay Severus Snape.

 


	10. Healing

”My god...” He turned around swiftly, switched on the muggle light in the room and dropped to his knees beside Severus, not caring that in doing so he soaked his own pants in the other man´s blood. “Severus.” He turned him over to his back, his own hands covered in blood in the process. “Severus.” He called again. “FUCK.” _´I can´t do this, I can´t do this. My god, he´s going to die. I have to send for someone to save him. There´s so much blood.´_

 

He grabbed firmly onto his wand and hesitated. “NO! He trusted you. He sent for you, nobody else.” _´Why would he do that? Surely he knew I would be horrible at healing him.´_ He took a deep breath in realization. “I´m all he´s got?” He shook his head in disbelief. So much has changed over this summer, this was too surreal, really.

_´Pull it together, what would Severus do?´_ Neville looked at the other man. “Remove the clothes, check for injuries, you imbecile.” He told himself. Another deep breath later and Neville began unbuttoning the man´s shirt _. ´This is taking too long. He won´t mind, he is dying. Do it.´_ Neville placed his wand on the wooden floor grabbed Severus´ shirt on either side and ripped it apart. “Holy fuck.”

 

There was so much blood. He had a very deep burn just above his groin on the right side; somehow the bleeding had slowed down. _´He must have cast a spell on himself before passing out.´_ Neville opened the pants with shaking hands. _´Come on, you´ve had him in your fucking mouth, you can do this!´_ he pulled off his pants.

 

The man was ice cold. Neville froze. _`Is he dead? Oh my god, oh my god, why did I not check if he was dead first?´_ “Get a grip Longbottom, grow some fucking backbone.” Somehow Neville felt more at ease with giving himself orders that professor Snape would have, this is the way it had always been whenever the two of them were in the same room together. Neville being the stupid student failing at everything, and professor Snape the provoking teacher telling him what to do. ´ _Is he right? Did he treat me this way to make me more confident? Now is not the time to question that, it´s working, use it!´_

 

He took his hand in his own hands and placed two fingers on his wrist to find a pulse. “Come on, come on.” There was none. “Damn it Snape, don´t you die on me, don´t you fucking dare, you bastard.” He moved his fingers a little lower on the other´s wrist. “Come on…” He waited. “YES! About time you listened to me for a change.”

 

Neville looked around. ´Something is missing here.´ “Blankets, he needs heat.” Picking up his wand he cast the “Accio”. Time was important now, he couldn´t waste any of it. Two black, thick blankets came swooping through the air towards him, he caught them, cast the heating charm and placed one over Severus´s bare chest, and put the other behind himself to check the wound he noticed when he took off the other´s pants. The left thigh had a very deep cut to it; he could actually see the bone. He made a gagging noise and covered his mouth. “Don´t you fucking dare throw up now Longbottom.”

 

He swallowed, took a gulp of air and placed the other blanket over his legs. “Accio pillow.” _´I can´t move you Severus before you´re healed, I don´t know what will happen if I do.´_ He moved away some hair from the man´s face. “I´m sorry if I fail at this.” He got up, wand in his hand and started going through Severus´ stuff.

_´He´s a potions master, surely he brought something with him.´_ “Where did you hide it Severus?” Neville said, as he had roamed around every kitchen cabinet and bedrooms too. “Revelio potions.”  He remembered the spell suddenly.The old and tattered floorboards creaked somewhere under the small dining table. Neville hurried over there and pushed the table aside. He removed the filthy, blue rug and discovered a trapdoor which he heaved open. He smiled as a wooden, narrow staircase was revealed and he went down. “Lumos”, a bright light emitted from his wand again.

 

“Fuck yeah!” He found potions and brewing equipment. Of course the potions master would have to have this with him in order to look after himself, living in a muggle area and being on the run, surely he could not just have access to this freely, he needed some kind of storage. He must have chosen this apartment for is location to not attract attention to himself and for the basement. “Smart man.” _`Does that really surprise you?´_

 

He walked to the shelves with various vials of potions. He groaned. “Great, no labels you fuck. Now what the hell will I do?” _`Think Neville, think. Healing potions, he must have taught this in class.´_ He groaned again and his hand went through his hair in frustration. His mind went blank _. `I suck at potions, what the hell am I going to do?´_ “Use your strength Longbottom, what are you good at?” _´Not a damn thing, that´s what… unless NEWT worthy blowjobs counts… Plants! I´m brilliant at herbology!´_

 

He looked hopefully around in thought. “Come on, come on, plants with healing powers _…” `What do one use for burns? … I burned my hand in the fire when I was twelve during the summer. What did Grams use?`_ His eyes narrowed as he raked his brain. “Burn, burn, burn…. Burning bush…. Dittany!”

_´You´re brilliant, Essence of Dittany cures the wound and regrows the skin… and… I need a potion to wake him up… No, just heal him and he wakes up again after resting… unless… the injuries were so severely caused by a wand that he blacked out and falling asleep is a side effect of that and not from the pain or blood loss itself… then I will need a potion…´_ “Come on Longbottom, think! Dittany is the main ingredient…. What´s the name of the potion?...”

 

He groaned _. ´Come on Neville. You can do this. Stop thinking about potions, use your knowledge in plants… what does Dittany do… heal burns when you use the brown liquid inside it… yes… and when used in a potion it reverses magically-induces sleep… yes… now, which potion…´_ “FUCK YES! Wiggenweld potion!”

_`Come on, you know what the Dittany juice looks like… You´ve helped Madam Pomfrey and professor Sprout…. Brown, thin fluid….´_ He ran his fingers over the bottle one by one…. “Come on Severus… you cannot face Voldemort so often without having a supply… maybe this one…” He carefully pulled a very small vial from the top back shelf and removed the lid holding it away from his face. If it was essence of Dittany, sometimes one could risk toxic fumes to escape. 

 

Green and heavy smoke emitted from the vial and he held his breath waiting for it to clear out. “YES!” He almost ran upstairs, dropped to the floor and carefully pulled of the blankets, which was lucky since they had clued themselves to his body because of the blood. He placed the blankets onto the floor behind him and very carefully poured the brown substance to the man´s leg.

 

He was amazed and very pleased to see the blood stopped dripping out of Severus´ pale body and the skin started to heal itself. Several seconds later, the cut looked days old. “Good job Longbottom.”  He did the same to the man´s burn and it too healed beautifully. He sighed in relief.

 

He placed the blankets over Severus again and waited. He felt panic attacking his body, when after very long minutes his hopeful theory that Severus would wake up on his own failed him. _´Great, now you only have to make the NEWT level potion… fuck…´_ “Use your strengths Longbottom…” He got up and made it down the stairs again searching through the potion books.

 

Three books later and it was still a dead end. He picked up the fourth one and sighed in relief when he found the potion on page 138. _´If only there was a spell that could create the damn potion…`_ “… Potion brewing is all about one step at a time, plan ahead which ingredients to use, prepare them all, but always take one step at a time…” Professor Snape had said at some point.

_´Right… firstly get out the ingredients you need…`_ “Wrong Longbottom…” Neville hesitated. “How the hell is it possible that my brain can pass on messages to my mouth from professor Snape without my own brain already knowing this?” He muttered. `Because it´s in your sub-conscious, because you suck at potions there for you have forgotten how to do things, that doesn´t mean you never listened… of course… ´

_´…Always go through the recipe before the ingredients… you have to know the beast before you can tame it…´_ He smiled as he seemed to remember Snape´s teaching more than he had hoped for. He read the recipe twice before reading the list of what was needed. “God, I hope you have it all here…”

 

Neville looked around, his eyes widened. _`Now can I bloody well panic? He doesn´t have any raw or fresh ingredients here! What the hell… Only finished potions or fluids already ready for use… books, scales, cauldrons…Fuck… I have to leave him here to visit the north side of Diagon alley… surely the Apothecary has it all…?´_

 

Neville reached Severus and he took his wand, cast the cleaning spell over him and the floor, too cast a levitation spell and got the man into his bed which would have to due until he would return. He sat down, placed his hands to the other´s forehead, and without permission his own body leaned in and kissed Severus on the left cheek. “I´ll be back Severus.“ When he left the apartment, locked it and ran towards his next destination, he couldn´t help but wonder if Severus would ever let him kiss him for real, and more importantly why did he want to kiss the man in the first place?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you guys still there?


	11. The FIrst Kiss

Neville leaned against the ancient looking building´s outside walls trying to catch his breath again for five minutes. _´Thank god I lost the baby fat or I just might have died from that run!´_ He then wiped away the sweat from his forehead and walked inside. Neville made a gagging noise like he always did when he was forced to enter the old, smelly apothecary. He really, really hated the smells, and fumes which everyone else claimed wasn´t there when he complained about it to his friends, not to mention the disgusting _things,_ others called ingredients, in see-through jars. _´Why does it have to be see-through? It´s not like one cannot just read the labels and open the damned jars to look before buying.´_

 

He reached the counter and the elderly wizard smiled at him invitingly like always, Neville returned the smile. “Hello there Neville, how may I be of service?”

 

“I need a supply to practice potions. I´ll be in my 7th year this summer, so I better step up the game.” He added a broad, shy smile to his made up story.

 

“But of course young man. Not too many are willing to spend their summer practicing. Nice to know there are some dedicated students out there still.” The man winked and Neville blushed slightly from the compliment, even though it was based on a lie it still made him uncomfortable.

 

“Wallace, take care of the other customers while I assist Neville here, will you?” The other man nodded curtly. “Now, why don´t you tell me what you need step by step and I´ll find it for you. I seem to remember you are not too fond of finding ingredients on your own. Heaven knows you shop here quite a lot. Tell me how are Professor Sprout, is that leg of hers still causing her trouble? So nice of you to be helping her with her errands over the past year.”

 

Neville smiled at the praise. “Thank you, sir. The leg is not getting any better. She is talking about retirement in the near future. She´s been pushing me to become her replacement even, but I don´t think I would be able to teach anyone anything.” He shrugged.

 

“Tut tut, have I not told you to call me Walther? If Pomona trusts you to be a professor, then she is right. That dear woman will be wrong about something when Voldemort marries a muggleborn. Now, what´s first on that list of yours?” His looked to Neville´s blue eyes through his spectacles.

 

Neville had to laugh. Leave it to Walther to speak so casually about the most evil wizard alive, but he always had a way with words, and you only had one life, he would say. “I need Horklump juice, a pint.” He answered looking around.

 

“Are you alright my dear boy, you are very pale skinned today? Why don´t you give me that list and sit down, I´ll get the things you need in a heartbeat?”

 

Neville was glad Walther noticed his discomfort; the worry over doing something to harm Severus rather than help him had secretly crept up behind him and hugged him tightly around his chest. “Thank you Walther.” He offered the list to the older man who set off to retrieve the items immediately.  He placed his head into his hands as he sat by the entrance door sweating. _´Please be alright Severus. According to Dumbledore Harry needs you… I need you… Wait, what?´_

 

Minutes later he was called to the counter again. “I placed the ingredients in this bag; it has separate rooms for each one, that way when you magically shrink them they will not be harmed.” Neville frowned in confusion. “You´re alone here and not yet 17, yes? And by the way you looked when entering my shop; I figured that you have been on foot here?” His eyes twinkled at Neville who nodded. _´Only one man knows more than Walther.. well, knew, since he´s dead now..´_

 

“Wiggenweld potion, yes?” Neville nodded nervously as the man gazed at him over his spectacles. “Expensive potion to brew for practice, my young one. 142 galleons.” _´FUCK, I forgot to bring money.´_ “Should I put it to your family account?”

 

“NO!” He blurted out before he could stop himself. “I mean…”

 

“Are you in trouble Neville?” Walther asked while offering a smile. Neville didn´t know how to respond. “How about we open an account in your name, mm? You´re of age soon, and we are friends, so I know you will pay me back when you can.” He pulled out his black book and wrote down Neville´s name and the amount, not waiting for any response. “There you are Neville. You should be on your way, yes? Whomever will be needing these things would be waiting for your return.”

 

“Thank you Walther, you´re a life saver.” ` _Literally!`_ Neville grabbed the bag.

 

“Not to worry my young one, you will manage fine. Have faith as others seem to have in you.” Neville smiled and walked out of the Apothecary, cast the ´reducio´ on the bag and tugged it away and began running back to Severus´ place.

 

*

 

As he unlocked the door he tried to calm himself down. _´You made it this far, you can do this!´_ He closed and sealed the door after him and went to check on Severus. The wounds seemed to be fine and he _had_ to place a chaste kiss to the man´s check again. He even considered going for his lips but he did not want to go against Severus´ wishes, _if_ and when they were to kiss, Neville wanted Severus´ consent, however tempted he was right now.

 

He brought the ingredients to the kitchen, went to fetch the scale, a cauldron and the tools before setting them up on the small dining table he had moved closer to the small kitchen table. “Right… Re-read the recipe, then prepare the ingredients and begin _.” `Fuck. Please forgive me when I fail at this. You should have sent for someone else Severus… but then… maybe no one would have come?´_ He shook his head, washed his hands and began the task in front of him.

 

Neville looked at the recipe twice again after the ingredients had been manhandled but his huge hands, took a gulp of air and let it out of his body slowly. “Here goes nothing then.”

 

He poured one pint of Horklump juice into the medium size cauldron, then added a pinch of Boom berry juice too. He dropped the 7 Chitzpurfle fangs into the liquids, a few Moondew drops, one stewed Mandrake then followed soon after, a Unicorn hair, a sprig of Mint, Billywig slime, and some Wolfbane to finish up. These were the only ingredients in his recipe which were not mentioned in the brewing instructions, so he hoped that that meant he was supposed to add them all as a beginner potion. _´Please don´t fuck up, you idiot.´_ “Oh, better remember to add the Sloth brain mucus too.”

 

Neville glanced into the cauldron without stirring. “Does it say fucking stir the potion Longbottom? No? Then please tell me if you did so anyway because of your _blindness_ to read a recipe or your _stupidity_ to remember what the words´ meaning are?” _´That bloody class still gets me remarks from fucking Malfoy.´_

 

“So I guess no stirring then.” _`Add the Salamander blood until potions turns red.´_ He decided to go one drop at the time, and after just 2 drops he stopped and stared at a red substance _someone_ might call a potion, he would call it appalling. If not for the minty odor he might have vomited on the spot.

_´Stir until the potion turns orange.´_ “Which way?? Hmm. Clearly the logical way to stir would be clockwise, yes?” He hesitated, but stirred, and was rewarded for his logical sense 11 stirs later. He smiled in glee. He actually smiled over a bloody potion.

_´Add more Salamander blood, this time until it turns yellow.´_ 5 drops later and the potion was satisfied, and so was Neville. “Right, stir until potion turns green.” _`Severus must have so much patience, really, this is so slow and… well.. boring…´_ “Green it is then.” He stopped after 8 turns, again clockwise.

_´Add more Salamander blood, until potion turns turquoise.´_ “I feel a Déjà vu coming over me, I wonder why. Oh, Salamander blood, haven´t used that in this potion yet, huh…” it took 3 drops this time before reaching the desired color.

 

“Heat until it turns indigo. Oh, goodie, something new to do!” He stopped; surely this did not mean turn up the heat, did it? It just meant, let it be until the color changes? That´s what he chose to believe, and just when he was beginning to panic the potion changed colors ten minutes later.

_`Add more Salamander blood until the potion turns pink.´_ 6 drops later and he put the vial back onto the table. “Heat until potion turns red. Huh? Back to the beginning, brewing is weird…”

 

This time it only took four minutes to get there and he added the 5 lionfish spines, let it heat until it turned yellow before adding another 5 lionfish spines. In went the Flobberworm mucus, and he waited until the potion turned purple, before stirring 21 times and the potion was back to being red.

 

Neville added more Flobberworm mucus, until the potion had an orange liquid. “Right, stir until it turns yellow. Motherfucker this is annoying. I _really_ hate potions, you know that Severus.” ´ _Why in god´s name am I talking to him from across the apartment? You´re going mental Neville.´_

_´Shake and add until it turns orange again.´_ He did that, almost forgetting to put on the damn lit first. That would have been pretty!

 

“Add Honeywater until it turns turquoise, then heat until pink.” _´Wrong Longbottom, one step at the time before you fuck up…´_ “Okay, damn it, gee.” He looked around. “Alright, I´m already bloody mental.” After that he looked to the recipe and gulping. One step left? Had he just made an almost perfect potion with no errors, all alone and without even knowing this?

 

“Add Salamander blood until it turns green.” He hesitated, hand shaking. _´Come on, finish it, you can do this! You have been doing it…´_ Five drops later and he turned off the heat, he stared and waited. No explosions, no discoloring. It was a perfect brewed, NEWT level potion. One he had never brewed before and it had not been supervised. “Holy crap, he was right. All this bloody time, he was right.“ _`I´m not stupid…´_

 

Neville took a goblet and poured it full of the green potion, feeling  satisfied, proud and _… ´Please don´t drop it…´_ He entered the bedroom he had left Severus in, placed the goblet down while he lifted the man into a half sitting position, bringing the potion to his lips and poured it into his mouth. He spilled some but kept pouring. Some slid down his throat and then he began to swallow the rest on autopilot.

 

Once the potion had been consumed he placed down the goblet and placed the other man back onto the pillow again. He did not know how long it would take for Severus to wake up, but he could now feel how exhausted he himself was, and he lay down in the king size bed next to Severus, wanting to rest his eyes but ended up falling asleep instead.

 

*

 

Neville woke up with a start; he felt a sharp pain to his ribs. He opened his eyes and sat up with another start. “W-whaat?” He mumbled disoriented.

 

“Good morning sleeping beauty. Would you mind stop drooling onto my pillow?” Severus quirked an annoyed brow at Neville.

 

“You´re awake! Thank god I didn´t kill you.” He almost shouted, making the other man stare in question. “Well you… I had to… FUCK you…. You almost made me kill you!”

 

“I was already halfway gone when I got back here, had I died it would not have been your doing.”

 

“Why me? You could have called anybody…”

 

“Could I?” He snapped back. Neville bushed scarlet in embarrassment. _`I should be flattered, or maybe not, seeing that I was his only choice…´_

 

“You´re doing it again… Stop it, it´s distracting… Bring me some water instead…” The older wizard closed his eyes.

 

“Please…” Neville stated, and he was met by deep, dark beautiful eyes, staring at his in disbelief. _´Since when is Severus´ eyes beautiful? Maybe since you started calling him by his first name, you idiot…´_

 

“ _Please_ …” Severus finally added lamely. Neville smiled broadly at him, jumped tiredly off the bed and returned seconds later with a glass of cold water.

 

“So how much of the Wiggenweld potion do you need, was the one goblet I gave you enough to keep you awake or do …?”

 

“WHAT??? Y-you… where did you get the potion? And how did you know I needed one?” This was one of the few times he had ever seen the man in a state of obvious shock.

 

He shrugged. “After I found your Essence of Dittany and healed you with that, you still wouldn´t wake up or react to anything, so I figured that the injuries must have been caused by wand and over a long period of time, like torture, so naturally the body might shut down and…” He noticed Severus actually gaping at him now. “What?”

 

“Thank you…” He simply stated. He wasn´t going to say what he was really thinking, not now. “But where did you get it from?”

 

“Well, you didn´t have any ingredients, so I went to the Apothecary and came back, it took some time but I managed and I found the recipe in your basement and…”

 

“YOU MADE IT?????” His eyes widened.

 

“I didn´t fucking poison it, that would have been a waste of galleons… I could have just let you die then…” His words stopped flowing from his mouth as Severus had placed his hand across it to shut him up. Severus blinked a few times and then shook his head. Neville gently removed his hand from his covered mouth. “Thank you.” Severus´ eyes flew to his. “For believing in me… I mean, as a student, and for pushing me to do better… I never knew I could… thank you..” He smiled warmly and Severus offered his signature nod.

 

An awkward silence fell.

 

Neville shifted on the bed and bit his lip; his eyes fell to dry lips, which were not moving. “Longbottom…”

 

“I want you to kiss me…” The words were simply, yet very true. He _did_ want it; he needed it, if nothing else then to find out what this _thing_ they had was.

 

“No…”

 

“I saved your life, twice. The second time, you asked me to… I have to know if…”

 

Severus sighed. “It was just sex, Neville… I´m too old and too dangerous to be around…”

 

“I want you to kiss me…” He repeated with determination and leaned closer. Severus sighed annoyed this time and rolled his eyes.

 

 “Fine.” Severus placed his lips onto Neville´s roughly, almost clamming them shut. _`What the hell? It´s like kissing a damn fish!´_ Neville thought. _´Use your tongue, surely that will be better.´_ Neville licked the other´s bottom lip to get him to open his mouth, when he did he regretted it immediately. Severus´ hard tongue went everywhere in his mouth, and when he almost choked him with it Neville withdrew from the ´kiss´, not that that would ever classify as a kiss.

 

“You did that on purpose.” He stated annoyed.

 

“Did what?” Severus asked, raising the right brow to give it more credit to his pretend innocence of stupidity _. ´Please just leave before doing something we both regret.´_

 

“I demand you do it proper! That was just… Troll level…” Neville responded without caring how Severus would react to this statement. _`Fuck, please don´t kill me.`_ He blushed.

 

“Troll level? Well, maybe you shouldn´t have asked for a kiss if you weren´t prepared for consequences to that request. I haven´t been with anyone for years…” Severus drawled in return. _´This might have worked just fine.´_

 

“No!” Neville said. _´You asshole.´_

 

“Good, then we finally agree on something. Now get the hell of my apartment, I don´t need your help any longer.” Severus coldly drawled. _`Please leave… before you tempt me!´_

 

“That´s not what my ´no´ meant and you know it.” Neville glanced at Severus, who had closed his eyes in effort to ignore the younger man. Neville drew in a dose of air before reaching a decision. He took off his shoes quickly, then crawled onto the bed and straddled Severus thighs, making sure he didn´t sit on the wounds.

 

The older man´s eyes flew open and widened. “What the fuck are you doing Longbottom? Get the fuck off me, NOW!” _`Don´t get hard, don´t get hard.´_

 

“Admit to giving me a lousy kiss on purpose first, and then I might move.”

 

“I will do no such thing!” He tried to push Neville off but he was too heavy and too strong for his weakened body to fight, and Neville seemed to know just that. He leaned closer, placing an arm on either side of Severus´ head; he rested on his elbows so Severus could practically smell his fresh breath again. _´God damn it Neville, move the fuck away from me.´_

 

Severus blinked as he saw Neville smirking down at him _. ´Since when does the brat smirk?´_

 

“I want a real kiss, Severus. If after _that_ you can honestly say that you do not want me, I will let you be.”

 

“Forget it Longbottom.” He spat angrily.

 

“Mm.” He hummed. “Then you leave me no choice _.” ´Please let him enjoy it, and not kill me once he has recovered fully.´_ Neville leaned closer and placed a soft kiss to the other´s jawline. Severus took in a deep breath of air without knowing it. Neville placed another one just below the first one, and Severus´ chest began rising more rapidly involuntarily. The kisses moved further down to the man´s chin. When the soft, young lips reached the pale neck Severus´ body betrayed him further and let a gasp slip out. Neville smiled into the kiss he placed onto the pulse vibrating lower still. He went on instinct and sucked. Severus groaned which caused Neville´s eyes to close in delight.

 

He sucked again. “You… need to…stop…that..” Severus gasped out.

 

“Mm. I really don´t _want_ to.” Was the only reply he had for a warning before Neville flicked out his tongue and licked at the same spot. Severus cursed, bucked and forgot all about his pain as he grabbed Neville´s face towards his own.

 

“You bastard.” He growled before he pulled the younger man closer and claimed his lips. Neville felt his body explode with pure desire as soft kisses were offered from thin lips onto his own willing ones. A warm tongue begged for entrance and Neville complied. There was no fight for dominance when the tongues collided, instead Neville´s head began to swim as the older wizard´s mouth sucked gentle. He had to groan with pleasure at this point. It would be impolite not to. Severus gentle caressed the left cheek of the young male while the older hand played with his hair.

 

There was not too much saliva; no gagging because a tongue strayed too far, no teeth smashing together, no one stole his air so he had to break away. This was absolutely _, perfect_. No other word would do in describing the way his former potions master could kiss _. ´This is the first time a kiss has made me hard. Fuck, he´s good at this, I never want to stop.´_ But he knew he had to. This position was making his thighs shake in effort to not touch the other´s legs out of fear of hurting him.

 

Neville drew back reluctantly, eyes clouded with desire, heart fogged with… something, and head spinning still. “That was fucking awesome.” He stared down into dark eyes. He moved away from Severus to sit on the bed beside him, legs shaking now. The other man was still quiet. “You didn´t like it?” _´Dear god, I did not just ask him that. What am I 12?´_

 

Severus had found his voice once more. “You´re right.” Neville flushed and looked away _. ´Great, you just offered your best kiss and he hated it. How could he not feel what I felt from that kiss?´_

 

“It _was_ fucking awesome…” Neville´s eyes locked with dark ones again. “We shouldn´t have done that… _I_ shouldn´t have done that…”

 

“Is it because of the age difference… or because it´s me?” Neville said, in no more than a whisper. _´Please, let it be the age… please…´_

 

Severus made a funny noise before answering. “It´s you.” Neville´s heart sunk and he nodded in understanding, not acceptance. His words would not come out, he knew that. Severus placed his hand to Neville´s face and turned it so he looked at him before speaking again. “You are… impossible… to resist…”

 

“W-what?” _´Did he just…?´_

 

“I cannot… will not… place you in danger Neville… sexual release… is not worth getting killed over…” Severus studied Neville´s face.

 

“Severus…” Neville pleaded.

 

He shook his head. “No… I can never be more than that… it should never be _that_ to begin with..”

 

“I´ll take it..” Neville interrupted.

 

“You should not settle for this..”

 

“I don´t consider _you_ as settling with anything..”

 

“Neville..” He began, but he was silenced when Neville had bravely forced himself to kiss him again. He didn´t want to hear him finish that sentence, he couldn´t. _´If this is all I get to have from him I will take it, for now.´_


	12. Getting Involved

Neville broke the kiss again when the need for air was dominant and looked down at his former potions professor _. ´Dear god I have fallen for the git. The same man, who has ridiculed me in public for years, is now giving me a massive boner from a simple kiss. Oh the irony.´_

“Don´t give me that look Longbottom…” Severus warned annoyed. _´Stop this Neville, god I can´t think when you give me the best kisses I have ever had. You´ll be the end of me some day, just stop it right now before you break my heart when you realize it´s not me you want.´_

 

“What look are you referring to? And it´s Neville remember?” He smirked. _`This particular student is now meant to smirk, it´s just wrong on so many levels, especially since it´s clearly making him absolutely irresistible. Damn it!`_

“ _That_ look!” You damn well know what look I am referring to, you brat!” He spat, somehow lacking the harshness that would normally have been added to his words, particularly in front of Neville. _`Fuck.`_

 

“Oh, you mean the look that reveals just how much I enjoy snogging the meanest bastard, who has ever roamed the grounds of Hogwarts? The same git, who has made a life out of pretending to hate the world and everyone in it?” Neville said mockingly.

 

“Fuck off.”

 

“ _That_ same asshole, which has made my days in school a living hell, since every bloody Slytherin see him as their _hero_ and therefor find it hilarious to make my life hell as well?” He went on pretending not to have heard Severus interrupt.

 

“Will you shut the hell up?” He retorted. _`Please.`_

 

Neville met his piecing gaze. “Make me.” _`Don´t get cocky Neville, he´s still a death eater and your former professor.´_

 

Severus snorted, causing Neville to speak again. “Yeah, I didn´t think so. You´re just a pretend-to-be badass, huh? Someone, wh-“

 

Wet, warm lips silenced the flow of words and Neville moaned into the kiss. His hand went up to play with black, messy hair and he leaned closer. His left hand took a trip down the smooth and pale chest of Severus Snape and Neville enjoyed the feel of toned muscles that greeted his hand. He bravely let his hand wander further down, after having finished its tour of a pink nipple. The hand discovered a half hard playmate captured under the blanket. Neville squeezed the cock and was rewarded with a moan.

 

“Please…” The young man pleaded as his lip collided with a masculine jawline and continued its encounter downwards. _´I can´t control myself around him, what´s wrong with me?`_

 

Severus bucked into the hand without knowing it. Neville kissed a trail down the other´s neck to the bare porcelain chest. He kissed a nipple tentatively, awaiting a reaction to whether or not it would be off limits. Severus hissed and Neville flicked out his tongue. He was rewarded with a shallow breathing from the older man when he sucked the pink bud gentle letting his teeth scrape over it. “You better finish what you´ve started…”

 

Neville grinned as he kissed lower and stopped to pull off the blanket confidently. This, he knew, he could do. He has had a lot of time with Seamus and he really did know what he was doing, and he had learned a great deal of listening to another man´s body language and the sounds, not to mention.

 

“Does that mean you would like me to suck you Severus?” He asked nonchalantly while playing with his hipbone using his tongue. Severus bucked his hips towards the mouth, but Neville stilled them.

 

“Mm, you´ll have to do better than that Sev.” _´Sev? Jesus I´m playing with fire today.`_

 

“Neville…” The warning tone of his voice was deathly.

 

“Say please…” He teased the older man.

 

“Don´t force me to kill you…”

 

“P-l-e-a-s-e… Severus… you want it, you say the words…” He moved his talented mouth to the saluting member and took it into his mouth, boxers and all.”

 

Severus moaned involuntarily and bucked upwards again. “Mm, you want me to pleasure you?” Neville tormented him.

 

“Just do it, damn it!” He growled, eyes filled with lust meeting blue eyes.

 

“..if you don´t want the-“ Neville moved away from the other man.

 

Severus closed his eyes in frustration. _`How the hell can this boy, young man, get me so worked up? I am used to facing the Dark Lord, and now I can´t even say no to a fucking blow?´_

 

“Please…”

 

Neville leaned closer to Severus´ face before kissing him slowly. “Was that really so hard?” He smiled as he pulled off the boxers and wasted no more time before taking the cock into his warm mouth. Severus made sounds again. “Mm, I love your sounds…” He sucked the head. “Making you of all people…” He deep-throated him. ”moan like this…” Severus bucked and Neville stopped talking and sucked while he bobbed his head up and down in slow, teasing strokes.

 

“God damn it Neville…”

 

“What, baby?” _`Shit, what the fuck did I call him? This is now some young, Gryffindor, he i-´_

“Faster… suck me faster…” The man clearly hadn´t noticed the slip-up.

 

 _´Is he begging or ordering me? Don´t temp fate Neville. Fuck, I have to know…´_ “Are you going to beg me to?”

 

Severus cursed when Neville slowed down again.

 

 _´Don´t stop, fuck this is too good to stop, I´m so close…´_ “Please…”

 

 _´Merlin, stop making him beg, you´ll come into your pants…´_ “Mm, you want more?” _´FUCK´_

_´Stop begging, you´re Severus Snape, you have never begged in bed before, surely now is not the time to start it, not with a 16-years-old boy!´_ “Please… Neville… I need… don´t stop…”

 

 _´FUCK.´_ Neville´s body shook as the orgasm took over. He stopped paying with the cock in his mouth out of fear of biting down but let his hand jerk him off instead. After half a minute he resumed to the promised task. He was not about to leave the man hanging, not after having begged for it.

 

It didn´t take much longer for Severus to spill his fluids down Neville´s throat and the both lay back onto the bed. “You´re fucking incredible…”

 

Neville spoke the words shakily but he meant them nevertheless. “Your begging made me come.” He finished since the other man didn´t respond.

 

Severus had found his voice again. “Had I known it would get me a blow like that, I would have begged and forgotten my Slytherin side before…” He rasped.

 

“I´m sleeping here tonight.” Neville stated and took off his clothes and slid under the covers. “Guess snuggling is out of the question, huh?”

 

Severus responded with a quirked brow. “Pity, I love to snuggle… I guess I should have found someo-“

 

Severus cut off Neville´s rambling by pulling the younger male closer. “Shut the fuck up. I´m old, healing from two wounds and tired after having my cock raped by some students´ young tempting mouth.

 

Neville snorted but placed himself closer wrapping his arms around the older man. “I could get used to this, to you… fuck you smell so damn good…”

 

“If you want me to repay the favor tomorrow, then go to sleep… now…” He closed his eyes.

 

Neville laughed and closed his eyes too. It´s been a long time since he felt so at ease. “Sorry about, you know, calling you ´baby´…” He mumbled.

 

“Mm.”

 

“Severus?”

 

“What?”

 

“I´m…” Neville began, he swallowed hard. “Goodnight.”

 

“Night… no feelings Neville, remember…”

 

Neville bit his lip and nodded. _´Yeah, I remember. Doesn´t mean I have to like it.´_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I the only one enjoying this type of pairing out there?


	13. I Like You

Severus woke up just before dawn the next morning to the sound of the young couple living next door fighting, which happened quite often. He groaned and reached for his wand on the bedside table, but found himself glued to the bed instead _._ He turned his gaze to the left _. ´I forgot about him.´_

Neville lay with his masculine, muscled arm around the middle of Severus´ old and worn out porcelain sag of flesh, silently snoring with his head rested on the pillow. The older wizard sighed. _´I am not supposed to like having him around. It´s just sex, remember.´_ Severus let his eyes wander over the exposed young and alluring body beside him. _´My god he is nothing short of gorgeous.  What the hell is he doing in my bed when he could have any man he wanted?´_

Severus had been so caught up in his own world of thoughts that he had not realized that the snoring had ceased. “When you´re not wearing your ´Severus Snape mask´ you´re actually quite dashing, you know?” The amused voice rang around the darkened bedroom.

 

Severus´ dark, questioning eyes bored into blue, optimistic ones. That _asshole_ , that had the annoying habit of stealing his voice, whenever Neville was near him after their first sexual encounter, had somehow entered the room unnoticed this time and Severus felt his throat fighting his mind.

 

Neville smiled knowingly. “Stop playing hard to get Sev and just kiss me already.” _´Please.´_

“Insolent brat.” He drew the younger male closer and when lips collided, someone moaned or maybe it was both of them that moaned, anyway, it really didn´t seem to matter. The world stopped for Neville for sure when Severus´ hand went through his hair and he felt himself being pulled closer to the warm and still healing body underneath him.

 

They lost a couple of minutes of their lives in great passion; it wasn´t the kind that said ´screw me now,´ more like ´god this is intense´ kind of passion. Neville pulled back when the need for air became obvious. He dropped back onto the bed, head resting once more on his pillow. _`When did it become my pillow?´_

“Where the hell did you learn how to kiss like _that_?” He blurted out.

 

Severus quirked his brow somewhat amused. “What happened to _troll_ level?”

 

Neville turned to his stomach and looked over at Severus. It felt funny to be this comfortable in bed around the snarky professor; he had to grin to himself. “What?” Severus demanded, thinking that he was laughing at him instead of this whole situation.

 

“Mm.” He unconsciously trailed his finger across the bare chest in front of him while he spoke. “Just thinking.”

 

“Would you like me to use legilimency or are you willing to answer my question?” He drawled clearly annoyed at being laughed at. _´Don´t get attached Severus, he´s too young and too fragile, and you´re too broken. He deserves better than you.´_

 

Neville laughed. “I just... I like being around you… you´re… cute…” _`NO, I did not just say that out loud. Thinking it was weird enough, but saying it to the man face to face was just a big no-go.´_

 

Sure enough, Neville earned himself another raised brow and the `Snape glare.´ “ _Cute_ is not likely a word having ever been used concerning me, is it? So tell me the truth instead. Right now.”

 

Neville snorted and met his gaze. “You can´t intimidate me into doing what you want me to do anymore. I have seen you naked. I´ve had you inside me. I´ve sucked you. We have b-.”

 

“Alright, I get the point! Move on.” He interrupted harshly. _`Don´t give me ideas of what to do to you!´_

 

“Well _I_ think you´re kind of cute, in your own sort of way. It´s my opinion that counts anyway, not yours.” He smiled broadly. “Besides, what I _was_ thinking, was how weird it is to be this comfortable around each other, I mean with our history it´s no-“

 

“Speak for yourself. I am never comfortable around anyone.” ´ _Liar, you like being with Neville.´_

 

Even though Neville knew that Severus might not mean it so harshly, even though he knew that his snarky former professor was always this way around everyone, even though he now knew the real ´behind the scenes´ Severus Snape, both intimately and even some of his secrets too, he couldn´t help but feel hurt by that comment. He would have liked to know that they had moved _beyond_ that sort of feeling, that Severus didn´t _really_ see this as just another way to get his release from the frustrating way of living he lead, but Neville´s hope was extinguished from a single, cold sentence. _´Things will never change Neville, don´t be daft. He will always be this way. It´s not really about you, it´s just the way he is.´_

Neville moved away from the other man abruptly and sat up preparing to rise from the bed to put on his scattered clothes from somewhere in the darkness. Severus watched as Neville moved away from him, he noticed the _hurt_ the younger man had wiped away from his face almost immediately to not provoke him. He saw him get up and move clumsily around the room to find his own clothes and lazily cover up his all too tempting body.

 

Severus sighed at the situation he had landed himself into, at the way he had been too weak to refuse the younger man after the first mistake, at the thoughts taking over his mind concerning the same male, not to mention the damn feelings forming inside his darkened, lonely heart. Feelings he had sworn never to get in touch with again. Just like the time he had fallen for Lily Evans, falling for Neville had taking him mere weeks. He did not consider himself one to easily fall in love, well naturally this thing with the Longbottom male obviously _couldn´t_ be love, but he was not too blind to see that it was _something_ more than sex, something that should not happen, and should not _continue_ to happen.

 

“I didn´t mean _that_ …” ´ _Stop this nonsense Severus, you fool. Just let him leave´_

 

“It´s okay Severus, really.” He said while putting on his left sock _. ´No, it´s not. Don´t pretend that it is.´_

“Come back to bed.” _`For god´s sake you moron, just let him fucking leave already.´_

“Seamus and Dean must be wondering where I am.” He lied, he _had_ to say something.

 

“Please…” _´God, back to begging are we? Seriously?´_

 

Neville put on his right shoe in a slow motion, not to stall time but because his entire body seemed to be fighting him _not_ to leave. “You´re right. We should stop this… _whatever_ it is we have… or had.” Severus felt like Hagrid was using him as a chair, his chest so tightly wound up that he felt like a sponge being wrung dry and no water coming out. It bloody hurt _. ´Sod this.´_

 

“Is that what you want?” _´You don´t need him. You´ve been alone for most of your life, fully content with casually sex, why change what´s working?´_

Neville shrugged his hand grasping his left shoe from under the bed. “It´s what you want, makes sense with your life I guess.” _´Doesn´t mean I have to agree.´_

“What if…” _`Don´t finish that sentence. Don´t.´_

The bravery of the Gryffindor student took over and Neville turned around fully dressed as he spoke softly. “What if what, Severus?” ´ _Please change your mind.´_

 

He took a deep breath. _`Don´t.´_ “What if I was wrong?” _´FUCK.´_

 

Neville offered a small smile. “You´re never wrong Sev.”

_`I´m going to miss his pathetic, castrating nickname for me.´_ He nodded curtly, what else could he do? He was not about to beg him to stay, that was so beneath him. _´I want him beneath me. Motherfucking crap this is.´_ He sighed and closed his eyes briefly. “Stay.”

 

Neville hadn´t expected that at all. His heart began beating faster and he felt flustered. “Why?”

 

 _´Because I fucking say so that´s why! No, that won´t do, you´ll have to be honest to make him want to stay, he´s a bloody Gryffindor.´_ “Because I like having you here.” _`There, I said it!´_

Neville bit his lip, looking cute as hell in Severus´ opinion, while thinking hard. “Look Severus I…” He stumbled with the words awkwardly. “I never imagined that… I would _like_ you… I mean, who doesn´t like sex, really, but it´s… you´re just…” _´Fuck, just spill it out, it can´t get any worse.´_ “But I _do_ … like you that is… a lot…” He looked to the wall behind Severus. “I´m already… I tried stopping it, naturally… I mean who in their right mind would…” He noticed the look Severus was now sending him. “Sorry, but you´re not exactly…”

 

“.. A catch… keen on the eye…” Severus offered.

 

“No! That´s not what I… for fuck´s sake Severus, I´m already falling for you! I´m not a Slytherin or a Death eater, I can´t just switch of my emotions… I thought I could… seriously, just a month ago I hated you more than anyone else… this is just…” He didn´t look at the other man now, he _couldn´t._

 

“I know…” Severus said after a few moments time had passed. “I like you too…” _´Great, now there is no point of return, you dimwit.´_

 

Neville caught dark orbs piecing his blue ones again. “I don´t care what you´ve done… to me… or others in the past... I just…” He paused. “I just _care_ …”

 

“Then come back to bed.” _´Oh, you are so very much screwed now Severus, so screwed indeed.´_

“Do you really like me?”

 

He sighed before admitting the truth. “Yes.”

 

“And you realize it´s me, Neville Longbottom, the ´imbecile who doesn´t know up from down or his ass from his head´ inside a class room?”

 

Severus smirked. “We´re not inside a class room now, are we?” He quirked his brow.

 

Neville smiled. “No we´re not.” He hesitated before dropping his shoes to the floor once more and climbing back onto the bed. Severus couldn´t help but reach out to the younger man and pull him into another kiss. “I´ll just leave after breakfast then…”

 

“Mm, I might have something you _crave_ for… I seem to recall owing you something…”

 

“Better be worth the effort of undressing again.” Neville grinned as the older man hovered over him, clearly pretending that his wounds had already stopped hurting.

 


	14. Taking Charge

”Was it worth it the last time?” He asked in _that_ husky voice that drove Neville crazy with desire. _´How in Morgana´s wet panties is it possible for him of all people to get me so worked up, all because of his damn voice and by kissing?´_

“You mean..?” Neville asked feeling quite flustered at the moment, because the man was now sucking on a very, very sensitive spot on his neck. _´God damn it, don´t stop.´_ “We can´t… your wounds…” He managed to say too. _´Why do I suddenly enjoy being a bottom?´_

The suction turned into kissing when Severus found a jawline clearly in need to meet a shaver any time soon, the older man hissed. “S-sorry… been lazy these past weeks… been meaning to shave…” He moaned between panting breaths.

 

“Mm, you´re damn sexy this way…” Neville´s cock stirred beneath the older man, who stopped using his mouth on his precious body immediately.

 

He smirked down at Neville before speaking. “I should give you compliments more often, I think.” He grabbed the trapped-in cock through the semi-wet pants. Dark orbs met bright ones, both pairs filled with lust. Severus leaned closer so their faces were mere inches apart and Neville shuddered, much to the other´s delight. “Since when do I have _this_ effect on you? Mm?” _´How can this handsome, young man look at me like that, knowing some of the things I have done?´_

 

“I-I…” _´Fuck, don´t stop touching me like that.´_ Neville fought to get the words out.

 

Severus moved so he could easily pull out the saluting cock, he began stroking it, never taking his eyes from Neville´s. “Answer me…” The tone was not the usual threatening nor the demanding one Neville was used to, it sounded more like pleading.

 

Neville bit his lip when Severus twisted his wrist slightly and moved his thumb over the pre-cum. “God Sev…” He closed his eyes. “You´re fucking amazing…”

 

Severus smirked as he watched the panting, gorgeous and very flustered young male beneath him before leaning closer to his ear to whisper. “Takes one to know one…” Under normal circumstances Neville would have found those words childish, but right now spoken with _that_ voice by Severus, well, Neville took it as a great compliment and moaned in response.

 

“When?” He repeated his question. _´I need to know for how long he has wanted this from me.´_

 

“Fuck… I…” He opened his eyes again and was met by those deep, dark ones he had already grown so fond of. “Since fifth year…” He gasped as Severus gripped him harder.

 

“W-what?” _´Don´t tell me what you think I want to hear, the truth Neville.´_

_`Fuck, did I really want him back then already? Huh, that explains the dreams then.´_ He pulled the man into a kiss and when he let him go he said. “I didn´t know until just now… That´s when the dreams started… Oh fuck… don´t stop that…” He whimpered as Severus played with the head again.

 

“Mm, you´re just full of surprises… Tell me what you want…” Severus said, earning another louder moan from Neville.

 

“I want…fuck… Sev that´s… amazing…” His body felt like it was on fire. “I want… _you_ …”

 

Severus was dumbstruck by that honest answer, but he went on anyway. “Tell me what you want me to _do_ to you…”

 

Neville whimpered again. “I want… Aaaah…. God… I need you… Inside…“ He bucked into the hand molesting his hardened member.

 

Severus gripped his wand, cast a preparation spell and as soon as it hit Neville he moaned from the sensation and the vibrations it sent through his insides. “ _Now_ … I need it… now Sev…”

 

“Mm, you´re not ready.” He sucked Neville´s earlobe into his mouth. “I am not about to hurt you…”

 

“Severus _please_ … cast a healing spell afterwards… I need it… you… please… now…”

 

Severus cursed and reached to the bedside table for the lubricant. He tore the lit off, tossed it aside, grabbed a handful and coated his cock. “Turn around.”

 

“N-no… I want to see you…”

 

Severus froze. _´No, I can´t. I have never looked someone in the eye while...´_ “Please… I know you probably don´t want _that_ …. But please Sev… I need to see you _enjoy_ me…”

 

Severus cursed again. “You will drive me crazy one of these days Longbottom…” He lifted the younger man´s leg and placed himself at the puckered hole, took a deep breath and began pushing through gently. _´FUCK.´_ He growled at the tightness.

 

“Mm… feels s-so… g-good… more… _please_ … more…” Neville moaned as he studied Severus´ flustered face. _`He has never looked more damn sexy than right this moment. Fuck, I could just come from the sight alone.´_ Severus stopped moving and Neville whimpered.

 

“I just need… two seconds…”

 

Neville waited and noticed the discomfort written all over the other´s face. “Are you in pain?”

 

He nodded slowly. “My wounds… I just need… a minute…”

 

“Severus lay down on your back…” Severus stared down at Neville in disbelief. “I´ll do the work…” He smiled flirtingly. _´Fuck you´re gorgeous Neville, and I bet you have no fucking idea.´_

 

“Please lay down… I´ll take care of you…” _´Please let me ride you… god, the idea alone.´_

 

Severus slowly pulled out, knowing he could not shift around with the pain so easily. When he was on his back Neville didn´t waste any time to move over the man and straddle him. He was careful not to sit on or even touch the wounds. Neville bit his lip in concentration as he lowered himself onto Severus´ cock. “Motherfucking, YES!” Neville cursed, earning a grin from Severus.

 

When Neville began moving the whole world seemed to stop for Severus. For the first time, he had let another man take control in bed, and this was just absolutely _incredible_. The way Neville rolled his hip in slight circles whenever he bounced downwards. _´How the fuck is he doing that?´_ “Fuck… you need to… slow down…”

 

“Sorry, am I hurting you again?” Neville slowed down in concern. “Maybe we should no-“

 

“Don´t you fucking dare stop now… No, it doesn’t hurt… it’s the quite opposite that´s the problem...” Severus growled.

 

“Ooh… Mm, then I´m not fucking slowing down… I. Want. To. See. Your. Face. When. I. Milk. You. Dry.” He made his point clear with a thrust from each word.

 

“Neville… God… you….FUCK… I won´t last if you…” Neville clammed down his muscles around Severus and that tipped him over the top, and he came with a massive moan, bringing Neville with him to orgasm-land.

 

Neville didn´t miss any sounds his former professor made, he didn´t miss how his breathing hitched or the way his cheeks had pink spots to them now. He watched Severus come down from his high along with him, and bit his lip again. _´Fuck, I´m still horny.´_ He got off the man and lay down beside him, when he was about to say something stupid, he was sure of it, Severus had turned swiftly to face him and claimed his lips.

 

“Mm. For a man who hates to be kissed, you sure kiss a lot.” Neville laughed as Severus rolled his eyes.

 

“For a man who seems to be a disaster in a classroom, you fuck like a professional…” He retorted and Neville blushed as he trailed his finger across the pale chest.

 

“You´re so responsive it´s easy to be good around you.” He said in all honesty. Severus gave him an odd stare. “I´m not letting you go again, you know that, right?”

 

Severus drew in a deep breath. “Neville, I-.“

 

Neville interrupted him by placing a finger to the man´s lips. “ _No_ , Severus.” He caressed the bare chest. “Never.”

 

Severus sucked the finger into his mouth playfully. “Be careful what you wish for…” _´I wish for you Severus.´_


	15. A Gift

“I don´t want to leave. What if you get a fever or y-.” Neville whined staling. _´I miss you already.´_

 

“You _will_ leave right this instant.” Severus interrupted. “Your grandmother will not be so easily convinced by whatever lie you will slip her when returning home.” _´I may never see you again, but you can´t stay here.´_

 

“I don´t plan on lying to anyone.” Neville shrugged.

 

Severus´ eyes narrowed. “You will not tell anyone about _this_.” He said harshly and pointed between them _. ´Dear god, what if the Dark Lord hears about this, he will not go easy on the boy for distracting me from my real purpose.´_

 

“I already told Dean and Seamus, s-.” _´Please don´t be angry with me.´_

 

“YOU WHAT???” Severus bellowed and sat up faster than his wounds would have liked him to. “Are you out of your damn mind? Wh-“ _`My god no.´_

 

“Relax sexy, I didn´t tell them who you were, they just know I´ve been seeing _someone_.” Neville caught him off before then man exploded. _´Fuck, my stupid mouth slipped up again.´_

 

“Sexy?” Severus quirked a brow challenging the younger man obviously having calmed himself down again after his meltdown. _`Oh, I know he didn´t just.´_

 

Neville laughed.  “Well, you _are_ sexy.” He moved closer to Severus begging for a kiss. “Very, very, very sexy…” He smiled flirtingly at the dark-haired man beside him while trailing a finger across his porcelain chest. _´You´re driving me crazy Severus. How could I have hated you for years and years?´_

 

“Flatter will get you nowhere when it comes to me Longbottom, I´m not about t-“ _´No one has ever called me sexy before.´_

 

Young, eager lips captured thin, unprepared ones firmly. Neville flicked his tongue at the other´s bottom lip demanding immediate entrance. Severus was playing hard to get and Neville sniggered into the kiss before pulling back. “Kiss me back, you _know_ you want to.” He ran his finger across the moist lips he had just kissed.

 

“No I don´t. I want you to leave. Now.” Severus scowled. _´Leave now, I´m not sure I will be able to part later.´_

 

Neville snorted. “Mm, you´re _too_ cute when you´re acting immature, you know.”

 

The older man´s eyes looked into the gorgeous blue orbs. Neville smirked knowingly. “Please… oh please Sev… I need you…   _pleeease_ … kiss me… I want you so badly… ooooh baby… you´re soo fucking good…” Neville moaned mockingly to convince the older wizard to let go of his childish acts. _´I´m crazy about you, you old fuck.´_

 

“You´re pathetic, get the fuck out of here.” _´Stop begging, you´re giving me a hard-on.´_

 

Neville grabbed Severus´ face firmly and turned it so the other man would meet his eyes again. “Kiss me…”

 

Severus flinched at those two words spoken like an order Neville noticed. Neville studied him for a moment before realizing that the older man´s breath had just increased. _´Is he turned on? You have to try, go with it.´_ “I said kiss me! It wasn´t a fucking request either.”

 

Severus´ eyes suddenly looked dilated. _´I was right!´_ “NOW!” Severus jumped slightly when Neville´s words sounded. He grabbed Neville and pulled him closer.

 

Neville moaned deeply into Severus´ mouth as he felt his tongue being sucked gently. _´God I love that.´_ Neville ran his fingers through the dark tresses and deepened the kiss further, if that was even possible. _´Please touch me.´_ Neville thought. Shortly after a hand reached his bottom and Severus lifted him towards him and was rewarded with another moan.

 

 _´God damn it, how the hell have you never noticed this man before? He´s abso-fucking-lutely breathtakingly gorgeous.´_ Severus pulled back panting and Neville rested his head against his former professor´s head. “Severus…”

 

“Mm?”

 

“I want you.” Neville admitted.

 

“I´m not a sex machine.” He blurted out; hating to admit that his age was catching up with him. Strictly speaking, he was 37 now so his body had definitely changed since he had been 16, and with that, the number of times he could come right after each other. Not that he didn´t want to.

 

There was that finger again, gently caressing Severus´ body. “Mm, that´s not what I meant.” He kissed Severus´ jawline briefly, making the man shudder. “I want… all of you…” He kissed the other side of his jaw. “No one has ever turned me on this much… I don´t want it to end…” He kissed the thin lips warmly _. ´Since when has my cock run my life?`_

“If you don´t leave now, you will not get any more, ever.” Severus warned.

 

Neville stopped kissing Severus and met his gaze. “Spoilsport.” He pouted. “When will I see you again?” _´Please let it be soon.´_

 

“I don´t know.” He sighed. “I will be very busy from now on.” He said truthfully, dreading the time to come. _´You shouldn´t lead him on.´_

 

“Voldemort?” Neville tentatively asked, and Severus nodded. _´I hate him having to risk his life. He is so brave, and nobody even knows.´_

 

Neville kissed Severus one last time before finally getting up fully dressed and walking towards the bedroom door, Severus made a gesture to stand too. “No stay there. You need rest, I´ll show myself out and slam the door after me. “ _`I miss you already.´_ He offered a smile before exiting the room, and quickly after Severus heard the front door shutting.

 

He sighed and closed his eyes. “Fuck, what have you gotten yourself into?”

 

_*_

 

 

The rest of the week went by dreadfully slow for Neville. He could _not_ get Severus out of his head, however hard he tried. He had to take a lot of cold showers when around his friends. Luckily it was hot outside most days so he had a good excuse for it.

 

Dean and Seamus had tried and tried to get Neville to reveal the identity of Mr. X, but Neville never did. He _did_ however tell every last sexual detail, knowing that this was the kind of friendship these three shared. Neville had heard his part of adventures from his two friends. They only had two rules amongst them. Never use the secret knowledge your friends offer from partners for your personal revenge and never, ever go after a friend´s partner.

 

 

 *

 

 

Tuesday the 30th of July the guys had woken up early to have breakfast and Neville was presented with the days´ first presents. “Oh, you guys, you shouldn´t have!” He exclaimed embarrassed that they had spent money on him.

 

“´Course we did, you dimwit. You´re our best mate!” Dean retorted and Seamus agreed wholeheartedly.

 

“Mind if I open them later? I am starving!” They all laughed and ate like it was their last meal.

 

After breakfast the guys went to Neville´s room bringing Neville´s presents with him. He dumped them onto the floor where Seamus sat against the wall using a pillow for back support, Neville and Dean took the bed. Seamus tossed the first parcel up to Neville. “This ones from your Grandmother.”

 

“Thanks.” Neville tore off the red paper and opened the small box inside it. He revealed a new gold embroidered quill. Neville smiled, he was always complaining about losing his quills and he had a suspicion that certain Slytherins kept stealing them from him, this way his name was written all over it. He placed it gently on the bedside table.

 

“Harry, it says.” Neville beamed. He had gotten his first presents from Harry last year; it had been quite a shock knowing they had become so close friends. It warmed his heart knowing that even on the run or wherever he was now, he remembered his birthday. He unwrapped the yellow papered gift, and found a Defense against the dark arts spell book. It looked expensive too.

 

The purple gift was from Hermione and it was another book, this time about ´Rare and important magical plants.´ He placed it on top of the book from Harry. _´It´s amazing how my friends know me so well.´_

Dean sniggered when Neville was about to open his parcel. “Hm, do I _want_ to know what´s inside?” Dean said nothing in return “What the…?” Neville held yet another book. ´My boyfriend and how to tame him.´ They all burst out laughing. “Well, thanks mate, but Mr. X can never be tamed!” _´He´s not your boyfriend.´_

 

“My turn.” Seamus said and tossed him another package. Neville looked at it hesitating, as if it might explode. “Go on, not jinxed.” He laughed. Neville tore off the paper and blushed crimson.

 

“What is it?” Dean asked and Neville held it out for the dark skinned friend to see. Dean stared at it a second before snorting with laughter alongside with Seamus. It was a magical-charmed dildo.

 

Ron had sent him dragon hide gloves, his uncle a bunch of seeds from rare plants to grow in the garden and the neighbors sent a gift certificate to a clothing store I Diagon alley. He knew he would get two more presents from Ginny and Luna next week when the three guys had invited them over to dinner and drinks.

 

They sat in Neville´s room another hour or so talking before deciding to go outside. They were on their way when an owl tapped on the bedroom window. Neville opened the window all the way and grabbed the letter.

 

It said only four words.  _´Meet me outside alone.´_ His heart galloped, he knew _that_ handwriting. He quickly tore up the letter before Seamus who had been trying to peek could read it. “Uh, Mr. X?” Neville nodded with a goofy smile across his lips.

 

“He wants to meet now, _alone_.” He added from the way Seamus and Dean looked exited. “Stay here, okay?”

 

“Yeah yeah, you´re no fun.” Seamus pouted.

 

“I mean it Seamus... I like him… don´t mess it up…”

 

“You really _do_ fancy him, huh?” Dean asked. Neville nodded and left the friends to tend to themselves for a while.

 

Neville reached the garden, not sure where to go, so he kept walking away from the house to the end where trees grew wildly, knowing this would properly be the best spot to not be seen. He was rewarded about ten minutes later when he heard a sound and a hooded figure appeared. Severus cast a privacy spell and lowered the hood; it was pretty hot outside, even here in the shadows of the trees. 

 

“Hey…” Neville said, feeling awkward seeing his snarky ex professor here in broad daylight.

 

He nodded curtly and pulled out something from under his coat. Neville looked at the outstretched hand right in front of him in deep surprise. 

 

”It´s not at birthday present. It´s just a present given to you on your birthday.” Severus lamely explained trying to look bored to be there. “Happy birthday.” He added. _´Don´t make a big deal about it Severus, it´s just a gift, you soft ass faggot.´_

 

Neville laughed. “Right. Because giving me a birthday present would mean that this is _not_ just sex, and we wouldn´t want that, would we?”

 

“Smart man. Consider it a thank you gift if you must.” He glanced around. “As you so elegantly put it, you _did_ save my life twice.” _´Just take the damn thing.´_

 

Neville´s eyes fell to his hands and the wrapped parcel, then handed it back causing Severus to puzzle. “If you are offering me a thank you gift, then I can think of something _else_ I want instead of a _thing_.” He challenged Severus who snorted. _´My god, I wonder if this man has ever given anyone a gift before?´_

 

“Don´t be a prat.”

 

Neville smiled but once he had opened the gift his smile faltered. “Severus?”

 

He cleared his throat. “It´s not a big deal really. It´s old, been in my mother´s family for generations.”

 

Neville froze staring at him. “Don´t give me that look, it´s really for _selfish_ reasons. I might need your help further at a later time; this should help you move around unnoticed.”

 

“This is too much Severus. It´s a family heir loom. You should –“

 

I don´t have children, and I´m the last one in my family. It is really _not_ that big of a deal, like a said it´s f-.

 

“It _is_ a big deal Severus.” Neville interrupted and moved forward. “Thank you so much.” He leaned in and kissed the man not caring if he was allowed to. He pulled away again. “And thank you for coming, I didn´t know you knew my birthday.”

 

Severus shifted. “You might have mentioned it.”

 

Neville smiled and his eyes beamed. “And you remembered.”

 

Severus cleared his throat again. “I have to go.” Neville nodded. “That´s a gift, which means that I don´t need it back.” Neville bit his lip suddenly nervous. Severus rolled his eyes. “It is not a proposal Neville.”

 

“No, but you came… and brought a gift… from your family…” Severus shrugged trying to _not_ make a big deal about it _. ´Fuck, did I mess up? No, I need his help once I come back to Hogwarts. That´s right Severus; you keep telling yourself that´s why you gave him the invisibility cloak made for Salazar Slytherin himself, which your ancestor then bought a hundred years after his death for a fortune.´_

“See you later.” Severus said and placed the hood back up.

 

“When?” Neville begged to know.

 

Severus sighed having lost the battle _not_ to tell him already. “September.”

 

Neville looked to the ground while nodding. _`That´s a whole month away.´_ Severus lifted up his chin to force him to look at him. “I´ll miss you too, brat…” Neville grinned and was positively surprised when Severus was the one who offered a kiss this time, which he gladly took.

 


	16. Longing

Neville was glad that Luna and Ginny were here today to celebrate his, Dean and Seamus´ joined birthdays. Ever since his birthday and most especially the surprise visit from Severus, Neville had been in agony. Well, not the kind that resembled pain, but the kind that implied longing. He _longed_ to feel Severus against his body, he _needed_ be touched, kissed and fucked by him, and he _wanted_ to see him, not in a month but right freaking now!

 

The party had been moved a week, due to Dean falling ill for two days.

 

The past two weeks had been a total nightmare for Neville. During the day he had to pretend to pay attention to his friends, while his grandmother tried to let the three young males tend to themselves most of the times, she had after all been young once too, even though it was a very, very, very long time ago according to Neville, which _naturally_ he was not stupid enough to actually tell her.

 

One might think that the nights would be much easier on Neville, but how very wrong one would be thinking just that. During the night Neville met up with Severus, in his dream, and the dreams oh the dreams were so very hot and sexy, so hot that Neville woke up every damn morning all sticky and wet from having come all over himself. Again, he considered himself lucky that his friend did not share his bedroom.

 

Seamus and Dean _did_ realize that Neville was beside himself most of the time, they called in hormones, but Neville knew it was more than that. Whenever he thought about Severus he would get the most stupid _look_ , Dean called him Mr. Clown face for it actually.

 

Neville knew that he was a teenager and with that came the urge to screw everyone, well if you were Seamus anyway. Seamus even tried to hook up with Dean three days ago, who had beaten the crap out of him with a hose in return.

 

Neville only had Severus in mind, and even though he was young and had only been with Seamus sexually before Severus, he had had a lot of fantasies about males, he even had some about Malfoy and he wasn´t even his type at all, like he had told his friends Malfoy was simply too pretty. Being gay was one thing, but being gay with a partner that looked more like a woman in the face than an actual woman, that idea was definitely _not_ appealing to Neville.

 

”…Don´t you agree Neville?” Ginny asked for the second time.

 

No response.

 

“Oi, Mr. Clown face.” A pillow hit Neville´s head and he was pulled out of his daydreaming. The girls had been here a couple of hours already. Dinner was over, the gifts unwrapped and they were now drinking butterbeers in the living room.

 

“W-what was that? S-sorry, must have dozed of.”

 

“Again.” Seamus teased with a smirk across his features. “Been doing that all week Nev.”

 

“Mr. X must shag like a pro.” Dean mocked and quirked a brow. The girls giggled.

 

“Come on Neville, tell us who he is? We would tell anyone… We promise.” Luna begged him.

 

“You´ll hate me for it. I can´t… I just… It just happened… I´m crazy about him now.” Neville admitted absentmindedly. _´Where are you? I miss you!`_ He gulped down some beer. _´God, you´re acting like you own the man, like you´re… No… that can´t be… He´s amazing in bed, but you can´t be…`_

 

“You´re doing it again.” Dean said and grinned.

 

“Is it possible to care about someone you used to hate?” Neville hadn´t meant to say those words out loud and cursed inwardly _. `Fuck, you idiot.´_

 

“Well, there would have to be good reason I guess. You would have to figure out why you hated the person in the first place and if that hatred has been reversed somehow.” Ginny said matter-of-factly. Neville nodded silently.

 

“How do you know if you´re…” Neville cut himself off, not wanting to say the words. Saying them would make them real, making them real would mean they mattered, if they mattered, it might mean that they were true and knowing Severus would never feel anything towards him would just kill him.

 

“Are you in love Neville?” It was Luna that had figured out first what their friends was trying to ask. The room fell silent as they all waited for Neville to answer the question.

 

Neville sighed and closed his eyes. “I-I think so…” Dean whistled, Seamus hooted, and the girls ´awed.´ “FUCK… I can´t… I promised him that I wouldn´t… Arghh... Damn it, I´m not a Slytherin, how am I supposed to just put away my emotions when he´s so awesome, and great and sexy, I mean h-.”

 

“He´s a Slytherin?” Dean caught on finally and cut off Neville´s babbling. Neville froze and everyone sat upright suddenly.

 

“W-why would you ask that?” Neville was trembling. _´No, no no! You fucked up, don´t let them know, they will hate you, and Severus will hate you.´_

“You said you weren´t a Slytherin.” Ginny stated looking at Neville curiously.

 

Neville bit his lip. “Slytherins are people too. Some are even nice.” Luna chimed in and Neville had to give a small smile towards where she was sitting on the floor across from him.

 

Neville hesitated. “Look… he won´t like that I told you anything…”

 

“We won´t tell.” Seamus promised.

 

“You say that now. What if… what if you thing he´s this horrible person… and you hate him…”

 

“We won´t.” Dean said. “If you care about him we will respect that.”

 

Neville looked crestfallen. He wanted to share this with his friends, he needed to. But if he did it, he would betray Severus and maybe lose him. _´He´s not yours anyway.´_

 

“Mr. X is here.” Dean said suddenly.

 

Neville startled. “What? Why would you say that? That´s not bloody funny Dean!”

 

“I know, it´s his patronus. Look there, outside the window.” He pointed and Neville got up immediately. Staring at the Doe he felt his stomach flip around. _´Something is wrong; the month is not up yet.´_

“Stay here.” Neville ordered and ran outside to greet the Doe.

 

 _“Hurt, need help, last meeting place.”_ Severus´ voice sounded pained coming from the Doe. He ran as quickly as he could to the trees in the clearing near the borders of their estate, not knowing that four pairs of eyes were following his every move from inside the house.

 

Neville found Severus sitting against a large stub. “Severus! Where are you hurt?” The man was even paler than Neville had ever seen him before, he was sweating and clearly about to pass out. It seemed he had used every last ounce of energy to try and save himself in coming to Neville for help. _´He must have known that I would not make it to him in time, I cannot apparate yet, school doesn´t start until September.´_

“Poisen… need potion… ran out…” Severus managed to say.

 

“Severus I don´t know how to apparate yet! I have to bring you to the house. Grandmother is not home, but Dean, Seamus, Ginny and Luna are here... All order members… If I bring you inside, they might report you and you´ll go to…” He couldn´t say the word. Severus nodded in agreement.

 

“Levicorpus.” When Neville had taken out his wand he didn´t know, but he cast the spell and levitated the older man inside, knowing that this acting would lose him his friend and Severus too. _´I am not about to let him die.`_

The front door closed behind him and as he went upstairs to place Severus in his bed and get out his grandmother´s potions gear he kept taking to Severus to keep him awake. His friends had not seen Severus was there because the dining room was at the end of the house, but when Neville turned around to exit his bedroom again the door was blocked.

 

“You…” Ginny spat.

 

“Nev?” Seamus whispered.

 

“What the hell?” Dean said.

 

“Do you need help with Professor Snape, Neville?” Luna asked walking forward and sitting on the bed causing Severus to frown. _´Why is she not afraid of me?´_

Luna smiled down at Snape. “Oh, I figured it was you Professor, I saw your patronus once in Hogsmeade, remember?” Snape nodded, he remembered last year when some Hufflepuffs had played a prank on a Gryffindor and he had to call for help, Luna had been there too.

 

“Death-cap Draught.” He whispered, Neville was by his side immediately ignoring his friends. “You need… to brew… Antidote to common poisons… and mix the finished potion with… the draught of living dead…” He drew in a breath. “A bezoar can slow down the poison until you´re done… it´s a slow… killing… poison… painful” Neville nodded and tried to smile.

 

“Good, let the bastard die then.” Ginny spat agrily.

 

Neville turned around. “If you can´t handle this, then get the fuck out, Severus stays!” He turned to Severus again. “I´ll be right back, I know Grams always has a grand stock of supplies, she shares your passion for brewing.”

 

“I know.” Severus said through gritted teeth. The pain was agonizing to watch for Neville. He left the room, not wanting to think about what his friend would do next, however, before leaving he cast a protection spell over Severus, knowing that might keep away any attacks until he returned. _´Please don´t die.´_

 


	17. Mr. X

Neville almost flew downstairs and headed straight towards the cupboards in the extra kitchen in the South wing, which had been used for brewing for years; since his parents had ´died´ actually, and he quickly found a bezoar on the neatly organized shelves. _´They are not as organized as Severus´, but whose are, really? At least grams labels her stuff!´_

 

Augusta Longbottom always made sure to stock up when she was running low, and she had been working as a brewer to make herself useful after Neville had been sent off to Hogwarts in his first year, it was not for the money, she had plenty of _that_.

 

He grabbed the bezoar having decided beforehand to only grab that, and then he would return for the rest when Severus´ vitals were stable enough, well as much as they could be considering. _´Please be alright Sev.´_

 

He ran upstairs and the tension in the room when he re-entered was immediate. Ginny even had her wand out clearly thinking about which spell she should cast, but Neville strode right passed her not caring that he bumped into her out of irritation, and she nearly lost her footing in the process.

 

He shoved the bezoar into Severus mouth silently telling him to swallow, which he did.

 

Severus took a few deep breaths before looking into Neville´s scared eyes. _´He really does care for me, stupid boy.´_

 

“Asshole.” Neville said out loud to him, and Severus said nothing in return. He knew he had scared the young man shitless again and now he was sitting on the bedside waiting for him to feel better so he could begin brewing. _´Well isn´t life fucking ironic, Longbottom of all people is going to save my life brewing a potion for me. Again.´_ He had to swallow the laugh threatening to escape his mouth.

 

“Do this again and I´ll kill you my fucking self, Severus… coming here half dead… like I´m some sort of…” He muttered while he reached forward.

 

“Nev what are you doing?” Dean asked in deep shock, when Neville began searching and touching the older wizard like it was the most natural thing in the world, and knowing how afraid Neville was of Snape it seemed odd. All of this seemed odd.

 

Ginny was still holding her wand firmly, ready to explode judging from the redness in her face, Dean shifted uncomfortably on his feet, and Seamus was frozen in shock. The only one, who was looking at the scene with a funny stare was Luna, she had stepped aside when Neville returned with the bezoar.

 

”You might as well put up a damn sign Ne-, Longbottom.” Severus managed to spit out angrily, the bezoar was clearly beginning to work and with _that_ the pain had lessened a little too.

 

Neville was used to this sort of behavior, both from his time as the man´s student but also from the past couple of month’s intimacy. “I had to show _them_ that you mean no harm, didn´t I?” He found Severus´ wand and gave it to Dean automatically, as he was the one who always kept it cool, and Neville hoped that he would be the one to listen to what Severus had to say.

 

“You know that you´ll have to share the last three memories with them, you have of you and professor Dumbledore. It´s the only way they will not turn you over to the aurors for murder.” He said matter-of-factly. _´Please behave baby. Baby... w-what?´_

 

Severus stared at Neville for a long time but finally nodded curtly, knowing this to be very true indeed. _´The more that knows anything, the more danger I´m in and the more danger all of you are in.´_

“I´ll brew the potion, but you have to _promise_ to be good.” He pointed his finger at the older man, and if _anyone_ but Neville had been doing it, Severus would have snapped at him or maybe even broken the damned finger.

 

“I´ll bring you with me downstairs. You know how I react to your criticism in class, so be good, but hey, it´s _your_ life.” He smirked. _´Don´t make me kill you by mistake Severus.´_

 

“How long do I have anyway?”

 

“The bezoar gives you enough time, if you manage to not fuc-.” Severus replied.

 

Neville placed his right hand over the other´s mouth to silence him. “Don´t say it, or the next thing to shut you up will _not_ be my hand.” Severus quirked a brow knowing what Neville had just threatened to do.

 

“What the fuck is going on?” Ginny had found her voice after the confusion brought on by this whole event.

 

Severus pulled away the hand. “You know as much as I do, Severus was poisoned, he came here for help and now we´re off to brew the antidote so this _fucker_ can stop with his I need attention trip.” Severus snorted and Seamus gasped, Dean sat down of a chair. _`He has strange friends. Had it been a Slytherin crowd I would be out of here already, either by help of the law or dead.´_

 

“Why would _he_ come here? And why are we not calling the Order already? And why in god´s name are you calling him by his given name?” The redhead raised her wand and Neville went for it, claiming it out of her hand.

 

“Make up your mind right now Gin, do you trust me or not? Because Severus stays here until he´s healed. Grams will return in two days´ time.” He said the last part to Severus. _´Because I like saying his name, that´s why.´_

 

“Neville?”

 

“Yes Luna?” He said without turning away from Ginny´s angry stare.

 

“Is professor Snape your boyfriend?” She asked bluntly.

 

The room fell silent. Neville paled, Dean´s eyes widened, Seamus cursed and Ginny almost fainted, which was not something that was _normal_ for her to do. _´Maybe calling him Severus was not such a great idea after all? Doh, you think?!´_

 

“Neville?” Luna asked again, since no words were coming.

 

“W-what? Well, he´s… I´m not… We´ve… W-what?” Neville might have been fed a babbling potion by someone. _`Oh god.´_

 

“You should start on the potions.” Everyone turned to Snape. “I´ll answer _most_ of your questions when we get downstairs.”

 

Neville smiled in relief. But was it really relief? He wanted to know that answer too. _´He does not want you like that. How many times will he have to say it to your face?´_

 

Neville got up, cast another levitating spell without waiting for his friends to respond, even though he knew that Severus would probably hate this kind of transportation. _´It´s not like I have a choice, carrying him in front of my friends would surely get me killed from the man himself, based on the humiliation it would bring to him alone.´_

 

They had already wasted too much time talking.

 

When they got downstairs, Neville placed Severus in an armchair which he then levitated into the kitchen.

 

His friends had followed him there without another word, but Neville knew they were still in a state of shock.

 

Neville then found the ingredients he needed; it was not _that_ hard with Severus being there to tell him what _not_ to use. So, he made a few mistakes, even with the damned labels. Even though Severus was beginning to become drowsy from the slow poison his mind was still functioning.

 

Being a spy for both sides had been good for something after all. He was used to pain, and used to coping with the stress and much worse situations. He often wondered if his life would become boring once the Dark Lord was gone.

 

Once he had found everything, Severus spoke. “What do you want to now?” He looked to his formers students. Hate, confusion, loathing and he couldn´t read Lovegood.

 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Ginny spat.

 

He glanced lazily to the youngest Weasley. “I ran out of antidotes for poison. Bellatrix drugged the wine which I drank. She had however intended to poison McNair. Something about taking revenge.” He answered honestly.

 

As Neville worked nearby he heard how much Severus tried to speak in a passive tone and leave out his usual sneer. He had to smile at that. _´He is trying.´_

 

“But why Neville, you hate each other and you constantly tell him he´s worse at brewing than a five-year-old?” Dean had found his courage.

 

Severus thought for a moment. _´Breathe, Severus, breathe. Fuck this hurts. Don´t show weakness.´_ “I have recently discovered that your friend has some hidden talents after he saved my life this summer once already.”

 

Neville coughed violently at this comment and their eyes met _. ´Did he just? No… he clearly meant the potion, you dimwit.´_ Severus´ eyes narrowed. Neville smirked and turned away.

 

“Back to work Longbottom!” He growled and Neville snorted at him.

 

Dean and Seamus were the only ones who knew what the two men were like during classes, since Ginny was a year younger and Luna not a Gryffindor, and the two men stared from one to another.

 

“Yes, _professor_ …” He emphasized the last word to mock.

 

“You don´t need to take his crap any longer Neville. He´s a fucking murderer, just let him die, for the love of God I don´t understand why you´re helping him! He´s a -.”

 

“Do I dis Harry in front of you Gin?” He blurted out before he could stop himself. _´FUCK, fuck fuckidy-fuck!!!´_

“What? No, but why would you? Harry is your friend and Snape´s a low life scumbag, wh-.”

 

“SHUT UP!” Neville was red in the face with anger. Severus stared blankly in disbelief at his young lover. _´He´s not your lover!´_

 

“Oh my god.” Seamus and Dean said in unison for two different reasons.

 

Dean was surprised because he had never seen Neville so angry towards any friend, well; he had never seen him brew so confidently either, but still. Seamus had noticed the looks between his former professor and his friend at first with loathing, then confusion and now it finally dawned to him what this was all about.

 

“What?!” Ginny shouted annoyed t being left out.

 

“ _You´re_ Mr. X…”Seamus stated appalled by the idea.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, thanks for the comments and cudos.  
> This is my baby, the first I wrote, and it´s really the one I´m most attatched too, thus far.


	18. With The Help Of A Friend

Neville froze in mid-action of cutting a slug into thin slices. _´Breathe in, breathe out. Don´t stop breathing.´_

 

If Severus was surprised by this statement he was doing one hell of a job of hiding it from his friends. Neville could see from the corner of his eyes that he wore his ´professor face.´

 

“Who the hell is Mr. X, Mr. Finnegan? Last time I checked everyone present here knows my name, yes?” He said with his famous sneer.

 

“The doe.” Seamus simply said palms suddenly sweating.

 

“Excuse me?” Snape snapped pretending to be bored all the same _. ´Stay cool. You could fool the Dark Lord for years; surely a handful of stupid students are not that hard to fool too.´_

 

“You sen´ the doe weeks ago an´ Nev told us it was from Mr. X then.” Seamus answered.

 

“What on earth has that got to do with me, Mr. Finnegan?” He quirked his brow to get the effect he wanted from the students. _´Don´t reveal anything. Neville will be in trouble if the Dark Lord should find out about us. There is no us!´_

”Besides, murderers cannot make their patronus corporal. Like you said, I murdered the head master. It´s common knowledge that Death eaters don´t use patronus´ for that same reason.”

 

Luna remained silent. _´Why is Lovegood not revealing me? She knows my patronus, and she told the others about it. Surely they cannot have forgotten that already?´_

“I saw the same doe tonight, outside the window. That is why Nev went outside.” Dean chimed in.

 

 _`FUCK, I´m so sorry Severus. Please don´t end what we have.´_ Neville resumed to his cutting, nobody but Luna seemed to have noticed his pause, because they had been too preoccupied with Snape. She smiled to herself.

 

“ _Maybe_ Mr. X fled once seeing professor Snape there too? He is not always so _friendly_ towards strangers.” Luna said dreamily as usual, and everyone turned to stare at her. _´I am never friendly. What is she playing at?´_

_“_ It would make more sense than what you two are suggesting.” She added matter-of-factly.

 

“Then why did you ask if they were _together_ in the first place Luna?” Ginny said annoyed. _`This Weasley is not like the other Weasleys that’s for sure; this one has no patience whatsoever.´_ Severus thought.

 

“To rule out the obviousness of it all, _naturally_. Eventually the rest of you would be putting two and two together; I was just saving us time. I am Ravenclaw, it´s in me to be smarter than you. No offense.” Luna answered in a heartbeat. _`Severus had to withhold a laugh now. This girl was actually funny. If any Slytherin had said that to a friend, well…´_

 

Luna placed a hand to Neville´s shoulder and their eyes met. _´She… She… knows?´_

As the others were still watching them Luna said. “You can do this. If professor Snape trusts _you_ of all people, then you should too.” Severus sensed something was off. _´What did Lovegood know?´_

 

“Thanks Luna.” _´For everything.`_ He made a mental note of talking to Luna alone later to find out if she in fact knew. _If_ she did, she had just openly given him her approval.

 

“Grams keeps a Pensieve here, it´s been in the family for decades, 800 years or so. When you´re feeling better you can show the others the memories.” Neville said while mixing the last ingredient into the potion. He had told Severus he would follow the recipe he had helped him find, he had realized that this worked better than Severus distracting him. Severus agreed since it had worked fine the last time.

 

“Severus?”

 

The older man looked at Neville and frowned, knowing that having Neville calling him by his first name was not smart around anyone else. “I don´t care alright… They are my friends, and even though they are angry, confused and what not, they are still standing right here…. I trust my friends with my life… and I hope they feel the same too…” He suddenly revealed.

 

Neville glanced at all four and they each nodded, eventually even Ginny did, of course she did, but that didn´t mean she had to like Snape being here.

 

“And if they are going to find out the truth about your role in the Order and that Dumbledore was already dying when you killed him, because you asked him to, then…” _`Neville, don’t.`_

 

“Then I don´t care if they kn-.” _´God damned it Neville. There is no going back now.´_

“Stop!” Severus´ one word did the job and he fell silent, with one final hurt look Neville turned and began preparing to brew the second potion in silence. _´I can´t let him tell. It´s not safe for him. If his friends talk… Even though I am clearly breaking his heart…´_

“What´s going on now?” The angry red head demanded knowing.

 

“Dean, would you mind taking Ginny and Seamus upstairs for a while. Neville needs to concentrate on this next potion, it´s NEWT level and he is rather shaky to begin with.” Luna smiled broadly to not offend anyone.

 

“I´ll stay and supervise and call you if we need you. You keep professor Snape´s wand with you Dean. He can´t do anything without it.” _´Thank you, thank you Luna!´_

“Why you?” Seamus whined, not wanting to miss out on something.

 

“Because you all hate professor Snape and having you here right now is not helping Neville´s nerves in brewing.” Luna said honestly.

 

“You _don´t_ hate him?” Dean said, not even trying to deny it himself.

 

“I don´t _believe_ in hate. Sometimes people turn bad because they have to, sometimes because they want to. I pity the ones that want to be bad, and respect the ones that have to. I don´t think professor Snape would be bad if he was not asked to be.”

 

“Luna, you are talking crazy shit.” Ginny said.

 

“I don´t believe I am. Professor Dumbledore was the smartest man I have ever heard of and he trusted him. The ministry trusted Dumbledore until the end, always turning to him for advice, my dad told me that, and that proves to me that he was sane enough to still make up his own mind about things like this.” _´She really is a Ravenclaw. Smart and logical.´_

“But Luna -.” Dean began.

 

“You don´t have to be nice to be good, and you don´t have to be a bastard to be bad.” She reasoned with her friends.

 

“Makes sense to me.” Dean finally agreed. _`Another smart friend you have Neville.´_

 

“What?” Seamus said in disbelief.

 

“Well, why would Nev of all people trust Snape? Really, he hates him. We all know that he has always feared him.” _`Severus does not need to know that Dean!´_ Neville cut his finger and cursed.

 

“If Snape hasn´t proven to Nev already that he is still an Order member why would he help him, hmm?” Dean went on.

 

“Dean´s right.” They all turned around, even Neville, to look at Ginny.

 

“Just because I hate the bat doesn´t mean I´m too stupid to listen to reason!” She yelled. _´Still bat after all these years, huh? Come up with something original, please...´_

 

“Fine, alrigh´. If Gin of all people… fine then… let´s go upstairs to wait… but ya better prove it afterwards Snape.” Seamus took a step back from the look Severus sent his way. _`Yup, still got it.´_

Dean, Seamus and Ginny lazily exited the room and went upstairs, talking all the way up. Luna cast a privacy spell. _´That was odd.´_

 

“Add another spine.”

 

“But it says four, right here.” Neville showed Severus the book.

 

“Yes, but that´s before I improved the recipe myself.” He smirked.

 

Neville nodded without hesitation. _´God, has it really come to this? He really does trust me now, does he not?´_

The potion had to keep to itself for a minute and Neville looked to his left where Severus sat. Their eyes met and Neville felt his heart skip a beat. _´Please, let me not fuck this up.´_

 

“You´re doing fine, stop fussing.” Severus almost forgot that Lovegood was still here.

 

Luna smiled dreamily and Neville noticed.

 

“Alright Luna, what´s up with you?”

 

“I just like to see you happy.”

 

Neville went back to work. “What do you mean?” _`Breathe, she doesn´t know anything.´_

 

“You and professor Snape of course. It will make quite the headline after the war I´m sure. I sent the others away because the more that knows the more danger you will be in. Tom Riddle is not really known to be too pleasant, so I could imagine professor Snape´s cover would be blown if he found out about the two of you.” _`Who the hell still calls The Dark Lord Tom Riddle? Must be her father´s influence.´_

 

 _`FUCK, she does know.´_ Neville froze.

 

Severus realized what Lovegood had just said suddenly. _´My god, this girl is clever. How have I never noticed? For the same reason you´ve never noticed how hot Neville is. He is hot, isn´t he? Fuck, I don´t deserve him. He´s like a god damned three course meal and I barely paid for the appetizer as it is.´_

 

“Don´t worry professor, I will not tell anyone, but Neville is a sensitive man, he would need someone eventually he could talk about you with. I can be that person. He is my best friend after all, it´s my duty.” She smiled heartily.

 

“Sensitive?” Severus smirked. _`Oh, I already know of his sensitive spots. Cut it out, you´re acting like a freaking teenager.`_

 

“Of all the things she just said, _that_ is what you chose to hear? That´s just… great… asshole…” Neville scowled.

 

“Yet, you still love me.” _`What??? You idiot, what the hell did you say that for? Of course he doe-`_

 

“Yeah.” Neville said absentmindedly. _`Wait, what? Oh god, please, pleeease tell me he did not hear that.´_

_´Oh come on, now you’re just fucking with me? Right? Obviously this gorgeous, funny, charming sex god cannot possibly love me. He´s just confused, not used to this much attention. Yes, that´s it, he doesn´t have a male role model in his life, it´s only natural he should cast himself over me like he has done.´_

 

“How´s the potion coming along, should be done soon _?” ´Fucking coward. I had to change the subject, what if he had made a mistake? So what, it´s not like you want him to love you?´_

 

“Just about to mix them.” Neville answered.

 

“Good. Pour the yellow one into the other one, is has to be that way.” _´Thank god Severus didn´t hear it, he would have ended it on the spot. It cannot end, not now. Not ever… fuck… I do love him…´_

 


	19. Blown Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been away for a while because my hubby had a birthday ;-)

Red smoke clouded the small kitchen for a brief moment as the two potions molded together and became one. Neville turned around, brought the goblet to Severus´ mouth and their eyes met. He tipped the goblet and the older man swallowed. _´I always love it when you swallow what I offer you.´_ The young male smirked at the idea.

 

Severus quirked his brow, when Neville put down the goblet again. “Your mind is one-sided, Longbottom.” _`That is what you get for choosing a teenager. Fool.´_

 

Neville levitated the chair and Severus in it into the living room and sat down next to him, Luna followed like a silent puppy. Neville placed his body sideways in the couch so that he faced the older wizard.

 

He smiled as he passed a glass of water to Severus. He took it and Neville waited to speak until the other drank. “Of course it would be, I´ve seen you naked.”

 

Neville sat back and enjoyed the reaction he had foreseen and desired. Water flew everywhere as Severus spluttered and coughed violently gasping for air. Luna sniggered and Neville laughed. “You need to stay here for a bit longer, you know that. Your body needs to rest and you need to eat something.” He said matter-of-factly.

 

“What are you, my mother?” He drawled.

 

“Don´t you mean your father, if anything?”

 

He smirked. “No, Miss Lovegood told me you were _sensitive_ , so I assumed you´d be the female.” Neville slapped him hard teasingly. “You would be anyway, given your current _urges_ to experiment.” _`Meaning me.´_

 

“Well, I guess they don´t get more masculine than you anyway, so I suppose you´re right in that.”

 

“I´m always right Longbottom.” He sipped the water slowly.

 

Neville snorted. “Like hell you are. And stop calling me Longbottom, it´s just us and Luna here.”

 

He scowled and Neville laughed again. “Imagining things again, are you?” _`Laughing at yourself.´_

 

Neville smiled. “I was just thinking that you are trying so hard to be badass right now, when I know all you want to do is snog me senseless.”

 

It was Luna´s turn to laugh. She enjoyed watching her friend tease their snarky professor, knowing that they were together made it more fun, because no one in their right mind would ever suspect these two of anything resembling a relationship.

 

“Brat.”

 

“Mm, well you know you don´t get off that easily Sev. You _do_ owe me a thank you, and then maybe, maybe I will let you kiss me after.”

 

Severus snorted, but spoke anyway. “Thank you for saving my life.” _´I mean it.`_

 

“Again.” Neville teased.

 

“…Again.” He repeated and rolled his eyes. “How very _Slytherin_ of you to mock me about it.”

 

Neville laughed. “Mm, thank you, but _anyone_ having something on you would need to mock since it does not happen often.”

 

“True, but if you think for one second at all, that I will ask you to ki-.”

 

Neville leaned in and pulled Severus into a kiss, breaking off his flow of words and Luna bit her lip in amusement in seeing these two like this.

 

Neville didn´t care if Luna was watching them when he grabbed the other closer, nor did he care when he deepened the kiss and let out a moan which Severus swallowed greedily. He did not care that Luna watched him straddle Severus, who at first froze at this gesture but slowly began to pull him closer. Neither did he care at all when he pulled away panting and Severus scolded him for ´getting him into such a state in public.´

 

“Luna, do you mind giving us half an hour alone?” He didn´t turn to see her reaction.

 

“If you think I´m going to…”

 

Neville sniggered. “Yeah yeah, no sex. Well, unless you count oral.”

 

Luna hummed in appreciation. “You two are _adorable_.” She then got up and left the room. They heard her walking upstairs to the others. _`What did she call me?´_

 

“You littl-.“

 

He swallowed the rest of the speech Severus had prepared for him with his hungry mouth. Hands went down to unzip and unbutton the black pants and Severus moaned. “Missed you… so fucking… much…” He said between kisses.

 

Severus was hard, very hard. He hadn´t come since the last time they had been together. He didn´t want to. _´Stop thinking your body belongs to him. It´s stupid.´_

 

“Suck my cock.” Severus bluntly demanded and Neville´s breath hitched in arousal of hearing those words in that husky voice.

 

He kneeled, took out the gorgeous cock and licked off the pre-cum on the sensitive head. “Mmm.”

 

Severus shivered. “I won´t last long… haven´t touched myself since…”

 

Neville moaned with the cock in his mouth and Severus cursed. “I won´t… last at all... if you… keep that up.”

 

He moaned again, causing the other to buck his hips. “Yes… fuck my mouth…”

 

Severus growled and didn´t hesitate to grab Neville´s hair firmly while thrusting up-wards into the warm heat. _´Fuck this is amazing… oh god Neville… perfect. little. Slut.´_

 

Neville hummed and that was all it took to spill deep into the young but talented mouth. He moaned as he swallowed his lover´s seed, willingly offered. “Fuck, you taste good… Addictive…” He leaned back out of breath, and enjoyed watching the other´s flushed face; it looked so out of place on this snarky man that it was downright sexy as hell.

 

“Lay down on the couch.” The husky voice was back. “I´ll be damned if you’re the only one who get to taste today.”

 

Neville grinned. “You have to rest.”

 

“I can fucking do that after!” He growled and pushed the other onto his back.

 

He caught his lips while hands worked on the pants. The kiss was broken and the pants pulled down to the angles. “No undergarments? Hm, should I be concerned.” _`He´s not yours to have, stop your jealousy.´_

Neville panted as heat surrounded his throbbing cock and Severus sucked. “Didn´t know… if I would… GOD YES… see you again… bef-fore… aaah… September… wanted to have easy…. YES…. access in case…”

 

Severus sucked harder. Hearing that admission had already made his own cock stir again, which at his age, took a lot after such a short time. “Yes…. please… gonna… nghhh… please please pleeeeease….” Severus pushed his finger inside the gorgeous puckered hole and Neville´s cock erupted immediately and sent lovely cream down his throat. _`God I missed tasting him.´_

 

Neville´s legs still shook when Severus pulled away. “Fuck… you´re… perfect…”

 

Severus snorted and sat up, body still repairing itself from the poison. He felt dizzy and leaned back. “Never heard that one before. Not exactly what people would use to describe me.”

 

Neville sat up, pulled up his pants and closed them before kissing Severus getting a small taste of himself as a bonus. “Mm good, more for me then. Don´t want competition, you might want to dispose of me.” _`Like hell I do. Wait, w-what?´_

“You know, if you keep getting better I´ll eventually die from having a blowjob.”

 

Severus smirked. “Wouldn´t be the worst way to go.”

 

“Mm.” Neville agreed. “I really did miss you, you know.”

 

“I noticed.”

 

“Would it kill you to admit you missed me too?”

 

“No.”

 

Neville waited but no words came, he sighed. Severus looked into blue eyes. “I _did_ miss you, a little…” _`You just have to be an ass?`_

 

Neville knew this was the most he could hope for right now. “Good.” He kissed him one last time, before he heard footsteps coming down the stairs. He had lifted the privacy spell just seconds earlier. Neville hurriedly cast a re-freshening spell over the both of them.

 


	20. Surprises From The Past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been away for some time, I´m back!

”Let´s see it then. The proof.” The redheaded female was back and still very much pissed off arm crossed over her chest, when Neville´s four friends re-entered the room. Luna smiled broadly down at the two men still sitting side by side on the couch, even though they were in each end not touching, she knew.

 

Neville didn´t dare leave them alone with Severus again, so he handed his wand to the man, and told him to cast a summoning charm on the pensieve, not trusting his own magic to hold up such a heave object, and his grandmother would kill him if he broke any furniture. _´And she wouldn´t when she finds out about you and Severus?´_

 

The tension in the room grew to a maximum, but Severus handed the wand back right after said spell and the pensive landed onto the table in front of them.

 

“When you have seen the memories, you _will_ apologize to Severus for treating him like this.” _´I don´t need their bloody apologies, especially not fake ones.´_

 

“The hell I will.” Seamus thundered.

 

“What about the way _he_ treated us; his students? Every day since we all entered Hogwarts has been a nightmare around him!” Ginny chimed in.

 

“He had reasons for that. I am taking about _today_ only.” Neville kept his voice calm. _`I would not have been as strong as him.´_

 

Ginny rolled her eyes and Seamus made a noise with his tongue. Dean and Luna had been quiet. He understood why Luna had, but what was up with Dean? _´He always talked.´_

“I do not want apologies.” Severus drawled and Neville turned around to stare at the older wizard. _`When will the man let his pride not run his emotions?´_

 

“Severus-“

 

“No.” He sat up straighter. “I deserve whatever is coming. You know that fact to be true.”

 

Neville shifted closer to the other, too close for the public eye, but Neville didn´t care. “You made one _mistake_ , Severus.”

 

“I made a _choice_ , yes. “ He corrected. “And every choice is followed by consequences. Whether you like them or not, I learned to live with them years ago, that´s the way it is.”

 

“You shouldn´t have to!” Neville was clearly angry. _`He´s even sexy like this, bloody fucking great!´_

Neville forgot he was about the pensieve and forgot all about his friends being there too. They all fell silent, watching them closely as if wanting to know every last detail they could suck out of this situation. They were nosy teenagers after all.

 

“Severus.” It was but a mere whisper. “You´re the main reason Harry is still alive.” Several gasps were heard after that statement, but neither Severus nor Neville noticed. “You´ve kept him alive for years.”

 

Severus drew in a breath of air. “I killed Lily.”

 

More gasps, and Ginny went for her wand automatically, Luna stopped her and gave her a stern look and shook her head. The redhead went back to listening along with the other three, anger still flaring deep within. Luna didn´t release her wand hand. _`Luna of all people giving stern looks is terrifying!`_

 

“You didn´t know that until _after_. Voldemort murdered her, not you.”

 

“BECAUSE OF MY TESTEMONY!” He bellowed. Everyone but Neville flinched and jumped. This startled his friends more than ever. How could Neville be so calm sitting this close to their hated professor?

 

Neville weighed his words carefully. “You keep telling your students how young and stupid they are, because of their hormones and weak minds.” He paused and placed his hand to Severus´ thigh.

 

“Nev what the fuck!” Seamus burst out. Neville held up his hand dismissively but never gazed to his friend. Severus didn´t try to remove his hand. _´He´s letting me comfort him in public. That, or he hasn´t realized yet.´_

“The great big, bad wolf was a cub one too. He´s allowed making mistakes too.”

 

“ _My_ mistake got people killed!” He snarled. _`He still hasn´t turned away.´_

 

“Our first year, you were the one who figured out the true identity of professor Quirrel. Had you not, Harry would be dead today, Dumbledore got there just in time to heal him. He was only eleven and had used up all his magical strength to fight of Voldemort.” Neville saw Severus draw in a heavy breath and exhale slowly.

 

Severus didn´t respond, he had to clear his mind, before he could say what he wanted Neville went on. “Second year in the chamber of secrets, you found out that Lucius Malfoy had slipped the diary to Ginny and alerted the headmaster again. Fawkes then came to Harry´s aid and the Sword of Gryffindor didn´t pop up by itself.” He swallowed. “I know that Dumbledore sent the sword, but he could not have without you.”

 

“In our third year, you shielded Harry, Ron and Hermione directly with your own body when they were about to be attacked by a werewolf. You never hesitated once, not because you made a damn pact, but because you went on instinct. Bad people don´t do good things on their instincts alone.” _´You know that deep inside.´_ Severus shook his head dismissively.

“Who but you figured out something was wrong in fourth year, when the fake Mad-eye dragged Harry away after Cedric was killed, hm?” He paused. “And just before summer, when Harry was in the tower with Dumbledore and Death eaters were suddenly there, who kept him safe, out of harm´s way?”

 

Severus finally stood up and went to the window. “ _Nothing_ I can do will bring him his mother back.” The words were spoken so quietly that if any other sound had been present they would not have been heard at all.

 

“No.” Neville wouldn´t lie to the man, he respected him too much by now.

 

“But you were her best friend.” He got up and stood beside Severus, their eyes met. “When the war ends, he will need _someone_ , to tell him about her.”

 

Severus snorted. “The day Potter will listen to me is the day I will wear red to work.”

 

Neville hold back a laugh. “He will. Eventually, he will forgive you and he will come to you for answers.”

 

“I do not deserve forgiveness, nor do I expect it.” He said honestly.

 

Neville swallowed hard. “ _I_ forgave you.”

 

Severus didn´t bother asking him what for, because he already knew the answer as soon as their eyes met. They had not spoken of it, and he did not know that Neville knew about it.

 

He couldn´t speak. His throat fought to hold back the words; stopped them from coming out. _`I´m so sorry Neville. Please…`_

 

“Y-you shouldn´t…” He tried.

 

“I do.” Neville smiled a little, saddened but the smile was there all the same. “You couldn´t have stopped them from torturing them. Did they…” Severus turned away and Neville understood. _´Yes, they suffered. Of course they did, they were tortured to insanity.´_

 

“How come they didn´t kill me?” He had always wondered.

 

“They tried.” He bowed his head as he glanced outside, not really seeing anything. _`Don´t ask. Please, I don´t think I can deny you the truth.´_

 

“Grams told me the reason why I have more trouble with learning new magic is because they used the cruciatus on me too.” Neville´s eyes widened when the other nodded.

 

“My god Nev.” Dean broke the silence from his friends somewhere in the background, speaking what they were all thinking.

 

“The aurors, who found me, said someone put spells over me, for protection.” _`Don´t ask!`_

 

“Do you know who?” His voice was so strained, that Severus had to close his eyes and he immediately felt dizzy and almost lost his footing. Neville caught him and guided him back to the leather couch.

 

Humiliation washed over Severus with the thought of his students seeing him like this, but whatever he was going to say or do was swept away by Neville´s next words. “It was you, wasn´t it?”

 

No response.

 

“They mentioned… a silencing charm so they others couldn´t hear me when I cried… and a… body-binding spell so I couldn´t crawl out of my hiding…” His throat was dry, but he had to go on, he had waited years for answers.

 

“I-is… that why…” He took a steadying breath.

 

“The cloak… my birthday present from you…” Tears which had not been invited joined the party and Neville let them fall heavily, when everything fell into place. _´My god…´_

 

Neville stood up faster than anyone had imagined possible and it startled the entire room. He returned to the window and stared blankly into the garden noticing three birds there.

 

“I couldn´t tell you… I-I…” _`Words never fail me.`_ Maybe the bezoar was not swallowed completely, what else could explain the great lump he felt in his throat right now.

 

“I know.” The voice was calm, but Severus could still see the salty drops gliding over the gorgeous cheeks _. `GOD I want to hold him. To comfort him. Why did his friends have to be here? He wouldn’t have let you anyway. You lost him. Those beautiful eyes will never again look at you the same way, like you have become accustomed to.`_

 

His friends beat him too it when they went for a group hug. _´You would not have hugged him anyway. You fucking coward.´_

_`I don´t need them to comfort me. I need Severus. I want him to be the one to hold me tight. Don´t even think about it, he will never let you.´_ Neville´s head worked on overtime as he stood there with four of his best friends, feeling their love for him. _`It´s not their love that I want.´_


	21. Please, Release Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is where the title comes from.

”How did you do it? If they used that spell on me, they had obviously found me-“

 

Severus interrupted. He might as well get this over with, he had wanted to for years. For selfish reasons; to get the heaviness off his shoulders. “I got there after they had tortured your parents beyond repair.” He paused. “They had started on you… for _fun_ … you were one for God´s sake…”

 

He wanted to throw up by the memory of that night. “I obliviated all three of them, took you and hid you in the room beside the living room where they kept your parents. Cast the two spells you know of, wrapped my invisibility cloak around you and alerted the Order. I had already gone to Albus then; I could not risk taking you out myself. He needed me to spy on the Dark Lord.”

 

Neville stepped away from his friends and sat down next to the potions master. He wouldn´t meet his eyes. “That room has always been my favorite one of all. Whenever grams and I fought… I would go there… I felt… safer there…”

 

Severus nodded curtly, not trusting his voice at the moment.

 

“Thank you.”

 

“FOOLISH boy!” He snarled out of nowhere. “Do not thank me for nothing!”

 

“Saving my life is not ´nothing´ and I´m not a boy anymore Severus.” _`It is nearly breaking my heart to hear Neville´s voice sounding like that. Since when do I have a heart to break you miserable bastard?´_

 

Severus sighed. This was not a conversation he wanted to have with Neville´s friends here. _´I should have remembered they were here earlier. Damn it. What difference does it make when they will see the memories anyway?´_

“I need a wand to pull out the memories.” _`No point in dragging it along.´_

 

He didn´t hesitate when handing his own wand over again, and the older man took it and set to work. _´Don´t lock me out Sev, please…´_

 

“The memories are set in the order they should come, all you have to do is dive in. You will not be seen or heard, when it´s over you will simply drop out.” He looked to the four pairs of eyes staring at him.

 

“What you see, you will never tell anyone, until after the war ends and when the Dark Lord has fallen. _If_ you do, your lives will be in greater danger than you can ever imagine. Not only your lives, but your families, your friends, and most _especially_ Harry Potter´s.” He paused.

 

“If you cannot do that, leave now.” _`Don´t go. I will have to obliviate you.´_

 

They all shared a look. “Come on then.” Dean said and they all followed and dipped their heads like the true Gryffindors they were.

 

 

The minutes dragged by in grave silence for the two men left behind to entertain themselves. Neville wanted to say something, to _do_ something but he was too scared to push the other way. Today had been very emotional. He had learned things about his past. The man he was in love with, is the same man who saved his life when he was only 1 years of age.

 

“It´s destiny.” He finally said. The other turned to meet his blue eyes in question.

 

Neville moved to where Severus was standing again and he leaned against the wall casually. “You, saving my life, it was meant to be.” He reached up and caressed the pale face and took pleasure in Severus closing his eyes clearly enjoying the touch.

 

Neville fought the urge to kiss the other to the point where his body started shaking. He had learned from their time together, that they both used each other to _release_ their built up emotions. Hate, fear, loneliness, longing, sorrow; everything went away the moment their lips would touch.

 

Neville knew Severus didn´t love him, but he could still feel that Severus needed to let go too when they were together.

 

He didn´t mind being _that_ man for him. Even though _he_ loved him, and _he_ ached for him to love him back, he wanted nothing more than Severus to be near him. Even though it eventually would break his heart, because this was all about letting go; release.

 

Just like the way they had first come together, when Severus needed release to survive.

 

Neither noticed that the four friends had returned and was now standing across the room and watching Neville caress Severus gently.

 

“Is he..?” Dean whispered, but Luna hushed them. They all stood still rooted to the spot, trying to not even blink in fear of losing a second of the scene in from of them.

 

“Severus.” The voice was barely a whisper. The other opened his eyes to get lost in the sea of blue offered him once again. Neville drew him in with his eyes only. Those eyes Severus had gotten used to getting lost into. Where he could swim away feeling more relaxed than he had ever felt with anyone since Lily.

 

“Please, release me.” Neville whispered and Severus drew in a sharp breath.

 

That was the moment it all changed for Severus. At _that_ moment exactly, Severus did something he had never in his life done before; he let go completely. He forgot the rest of the world in an instant.

 

There was no past, no future, no Dark Lord and no Order. The war was not important. No one was being tortured, murdered or captured. There was no longer any pressure to perform, to spy, to hide who he was, or how he felt.

 

There was only _now_.

 

When Severus pushed Neville gently against the wall and captured his lips Seamus cursed in surprise, Luna smiled her bright smile, Ginny dropped her wand to the carpeted floor in shock and sat down, and Dean´s mouth fell open and even though he was not gay he _could_ not stop watching. He was pulled in.

 

They watched as their friend pulled Severus closer and deepened the kiss. They all knew they should turn away, but they could not. Neville´s hand went to Severus´ left cheek and the other grabbed his waist. Seamus cursed again.

 

There were no moans, no growls, and no sounds to speak of. Nor was there any grinding, touching below the waistline or hint of sexual behavior.

 

There were only _them_.

 

When they broke apart but didn´t move to get away from each other, they kept eye contact. “I should go. The Dark Lord said to return tonight.” Neville didn´t speak, but he nodded knowingly. Neither one looked to Neville´s friends.

 

“September then?”

 

“Yes.” He watched Neville bite into his lip. _´Got damned sexy as hell, stop turning me on you big tease.´_

 

Neville smiled knowing what Severus was thinking. “September then.” He repeated. He straightened Severus´ robes when neither of them had moved from the spot yet. “Be careful.” _`The perfect little wife, are we now Neville?´_

 

Severus smirked and quirked his brow. “I managed to stay alive for years before you.”

 

“Yes, thirty-six years, you old bat. Just let me worry, alright asshole.” He laughed when Severus growled. _´Watch it brat!`_

 

“I´ll be needing my wand back, Mr. Thomas.” Severus said without turning around, and Neville flushed suddenly aware that his friends had seen that scene. _´Fuck!`_

 

Dean placed the wand into Snape´s outstretched hand and backed away again.

 

Severus finally stepped away from Neville and turned. Neville flushed a deeper shade and Severus snorted. “Shy now, are you?”

 

“Shut it.”

 

“I-I.” It was the Weasley girl who had tried to speak.

 

“Yes, Miss Weasley?” _`This ought to be good.`_

 

“I´m so sorry… I… didn´t… we didn´t… god if…”

 

“No one knew, and let´s keep it that way.” He drawled.

 

“That was fucking hot man, you gave me a boner!” Seamus burst out, clearly been dying to praise them.

 

Severus quirked his brow as Neville burst out laughing. “Told you I was seeing someone with that _talent_.”

 

Severus sent Neville a silencing stare.

 

“Please, _that_ look stopped working on me weeks ago. I´ve seen you naked, nothing scary about that, well unless you count the size of yo.-“

 

“You better not finish that sentence.” He warned.

 

The run howled with laughter by now. The tension was gone, and for a short moment they were just standing there laughing, well Severus wasn´t, but he knew it was not really him they were laughing at so he let it happen anyway.

 

He heard the laughter continue all the way to the front door and when he closed it behind him; he felt that he oddly missed it. Maybe it was because he knew what awaited him out there, and because he could not bring Neville with him for comfort. _`Since when do you thrive for comfort!?`_

 


	22. Back To School

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is anybody still out there?

”Wow. Nev, what the hell man?” Dean was the first to speak after Severus had left them alone. The atmosphere was filled with tension but not the bad kind anymore; this was something close to excitement.

 

“Yeah.” He sighed heavily and dragged his right hand through his hair as he continued to lean against the wall where Severus had left him behind. _´I already miss the old fucker.`_

“Jeez Nev, that kiss was…” Seamus began exasperated.

 

“Breathtaking.” It was Ginny who finished his sentence almost out of wind. The others agreed wholeheartedly.

 

“Come on Nev. Fucking Snape man? How the hell… my god…” Dean was confused as his hands went up to cover his face like they always did when he was in shock, even though they had all seen the memories and seen the proof of his innocence; it was still so new and, well new. “It´s Snape!?”

 

“I know Dean.” He threw his hands into the air as if that said it all.

 

“I know, alright. It just… happened…” He closed his eyes briefly. “I don´t regret anything. He´s amazing.”

 

Seamus laughed and whistled. “We kind of saw that.” Neville rolled his eyes.

 

“I would never have believed any of this, had I not been here myself.” Ginny sat down next to Luna. “This is just… what are we supposed to do now? We are going to have to lie to everyone we know, the Order… and when we return in a few weeks to school?... fuck it…”

 

Neville turned around so quickly at hearing this that Ginny startled. “I won´t tell… that´s not what I meant Neville. Geez, even your stares copies his now.” She laughed a nervous laugh; hands went up in a stupid defense gesture. _`Ginny is afraid of me, ha!´_

“Right.” Neville stated and went to join his friends at last. “Seamus, would you mind getting drinks? I´ll tell everything about how it started. Not a word to anyone or I will never, ever speak to you again. Any of you.”

 

They nodded in agreement excitedly and Seamus returned after five minutes with his arms full, clearly they were getting wasted tonight.

 

 

 

They had spent the rest of the evening talking and planning ahead, what they would say should anyone ask. They had to get their stories straight and matching just in case. Luna had asked if Neville knew anything about the whole September thing, but Neville had said no.

 

They had also gone over the fact that it was so surreal that they were going to cover up for Snape, of all the people in the world, _that_ man was the last one they would ever volunteer to help in the past, should he need them to.

 

They had joked about that too, that the man who never asked anything from anyone, now had not one but five teenagers, his oh so hated students, helping him out.

 

Neville felt at ease being Neville Longbottom again, being able to talk to his friends about Severus. To have his friends listening to him, and to maybe not understand yet why he was with the man, but to accept it anyway.

 

He felt happier than he had been for years, which was just strange since there was a whole war happening in their community.

 

When the girls left the following morning and they all said their goodbyes, they knew that they were closer together now than ever. Not only because they now shared a secret involving their snarky ex-professor, but also because they had insight to Neville´s past, a past he had never told much about to anyone really.

 

 

 

The days and weeks dragged by for Neville, a slow torment, but now that Dean and Seamus knew about Severus, they were good at keeping him distracted with everything else; games, preparing for school, teaching him to play chess; anything they could think of, and for _that_ Neville was truly thankful.

 

The day before returning to school they agreed to finally pack and head to bed early, because nobody knew what their last year would be like with Voldemort back and Dumbledore gone. They knew that professor McGonagall had taken over as headmistress, because this years´ letter came from her, but that was really all they knew.

 

 

 

As the Hogwarts express came to a stop on the platform near the Hogwarts grounds, they got off and shared a carriage. Dean, Neville, Seamus, Ginny and Luna sat in silence, well Luna was humming a melody and the rest were listening, enjoying the fact that no words had to be said.

 

“This summer went by too slowly.” Neville said, as they got off and strode towards the front doors to enter.

 

“Time always does when you want to be elsewhere.” Ginny reasoned.

 

She had really loosened up quite a bit since that night with Severus, much to anyone’s pleasure. She always seemed so on the verge of explosion. She even stopped nagging about Seamus not having bothered to pack his trunk himself, when he told the girls that he got Neville to do it for him.

 

They came to a halt in front of the heavy wooden doors.

 

“This is it man, our last year here. This is where it all began, and where it will all finish.” Dean stated.

 

They all drew in a breath enjoying the sunlight of the early morning.

 

Ginny had told them she planned on this being her final year too, because she was going to play Quidditch professionally. She had also dropped the bomb that just before Harry, Ron and Hermione had gone missing; they had agreed to break up.

 

She and Harry had decided to just be friends, because Ginny wanted to _not_ be like her mother, to just be a house wife; she wanted to make herself a career. She also had a feeling that Harry was only with her because it was comfortable.

 

He loved her, she knew that, but not in the way he should have. He had seen that himself after long talks the weeks up to him leaving school. He had even admitted to being ´not only straight´, in other words; Ginny had told Harry to spread his wings and try fucking a male too.

 

That had made them both burst out laughing, especially when Ginny had told Harry whom she thought he should ask out.

 


	23. A New Headmaster

As always the sorting in the great hall was the first thing that took place whenever another year at Hogwarts were to begin. Like always Slytherin had the fewest number of new students to welcome.

 

Each year everyone sat with their respective dorm mates waiting eagerly to watch the event. This year however, the mood amongst the students and the staff was tones down. Because of one fucking Slytherin, Tom Riddle aka. _Voldemort_.

 

Ever since Dumbledore had been murdered in June the entire wizarding community was fearful, he had always been the only man Voldemort had ever feared. Of course that had changed when he was foolish enough to take on a one-year old boy; Harry Potter, and had lost.

 

Losing to a child, an infant, really ought to have been the laughing point in their world. It wasn´t.

 

When Voldemort´s followers had made sure to bring him back, to give him another body to soil with his disgusting habits of murder and torture, he had at once begun to hunt down Harry Potter.

 

This is the reason why the Golden trio, Harry, Ron and Hermione has left Hogwarts a year prior to finishing school. To hunt down and destroy Horcruxes, which all carries a small piece of Voldemort´s soul.

 

Funny really, when you think about it, a man like Voldemort doesn´t appear to have one soul to begin with.

 

One would argue that Dumbledore should have gotten the entire Order involved in the Horcrux hunting, so that Harry and his two friends had help. So that the task would get done at a sooner rate. He didn´t.

 

One might conclude from that, that Dumbledore did not trust the Order members. His own friends and colleagues.

 

But why would he then trust Severus Snape with this? The only man to know about his plan, other than the Golden trio, who merely found out about a few months prior.

 

Of course Dumbledore´s reasoning might be that the less people involved the less chance of Voldemort finding out, but why would he still not get some others involved? Did he really only trust Severus with this?

 

If that was the case, which indeed looked like it, then one could conclude that the greatest wizard who ever lived, according to most, really must have trusted Severus with his own life, with his friend´s lives and with the entire wizarding world´s survival too.

 

Funny how life works out really. Now the only man that trusted Severus was dead, he killed him himself, because he begged him to.

 

This, however, is not how the rest of the world sees it.

 

To them, Severus Snape is a former Death eater, claiming to be a spy for the Order when in reality he was working for Voldemort the entire time.

 

Sometimes things are not what they seem.

 

Sometimes things just happens, and then you end up fucked by the world´s huge cock, and you might not even be gay, so being fucked by a cock would then be twice as bad, really.

 

Severus Snape ended up fucked bigtime. He is not gay either, bisexual yes, but he does not bottom and never has, so he really, really does not see himself as a gay man at all.

 

This particular day, Severus felt many things. Pain, excitement, longing, fear, hate and love.

 

He was walking along the woods near the grounds of Hogwarts. A place he had not foreseen to return to anytime soon, at least not until the end of the war. But it was not to be like that, he realized that once Dumbledore was dead and Voldemort had given him the orders to return, on this very day.

 

He took a deep breath as he and the Death eaters reached the clearing where he knew the grounds had a weak point. He had to tell about it, it was the only way he could return and keep an eye on his former colleagues and his former students. Had he not agreed to the Dark Lord´s plan to return and ´reform Hogwarts´ he would have let loose his Death eater instead not caring if a lot of blood was spilled over small children.

 

Returning to this place was the worst thing Severus had ever done.

 

It was the place he had first found an escape from an abusive home.

 

It was the place he had found himself a victim of years of torment from Potter senior and his friends.

 

It was the place he had fallen in love for the first time.

 

It was the place he had had his first sexual experience.

 

It was also the place he had leaned on the wrong friend; Lucius Malfoy. He had seen his weak spirit, both due to his upbringing but also due to his days at Hogwarts never finding peace of mind anywhere, except in his book.

 

In those books he had taken an interest to the Dark arts, which had eventually led him to Voldemort, as a young, fragile soul who had been lost and an easy prey to mold.

 

He had been molded into a heartless, calculating warrior, who lived to serve. When he had broken free when he lost the love of his life, murdered by Voldemort himself, he ran back to Hogwarts.

 

Into the arms of Dumbledore. He took him in, gave him a job and at the highest price ever. He would pay for his mistake for the rest of his life.

 

Every day would be of pain, misery, hate and loneliness.

 

No one would ever see the real Severus Snape; that he had forced himself to become the man he was before he first joined the Death eaters. He had fought his way back to the time he had not been happy, but he had been the happiest. Because he had never been happy, it was not the way his life turned out.

 

Forever doomed to be alone and hated by all, friends and foes in total.

 

Until now.

 

When he broke through the wards of Hogwarts´ grounds, this was what he thought about; that someone else had broken through his own wards.

 

Wards which he had intended to never let anyone through ever again.

 

Because he knew the price already.

 

Death and misery. _`Please don´t let him die, he deserves so much better than that. So much more than I can ever give him.´_

 

It was past the sorting ceremony when the silent alarms let the staff know that intruders had entered the school. The head of houses were told to escort the students back to their dormitories, but it was too late.

 

They were here.

 

Lucius Malfoy, Fenrir Greyback, the Lestranges, McNair, Crabbe, Goyle, the Carrows and Severus Snape all blocked the exits to the great hall with their wands out.

 

The room burst with screaming students and professors running forward shielding them with their own bodies. “SILENCE.” The headmistress yelled and so be it.

 

Headmistress McGonagall walked confidently towards her former friend, Order foe and colleague Severus Snape.

 

“Snape.” The hatred could not be any more pronounced in just one name.

 

“Minerva.” He drawled. “I am here to release you from your duty as Headmistress.”

 

Her nostrils flared, but when looking around and seeing the Death eaters pointing their wands at her students, some of them no more than eleven years old, she knew she had no choice but to obey. “And who will then run this school? Surely it cannot run itself!”

 

“I will.” Severus said and he tried not to look to his left where Neville was now standing and shielding some of the smallest students with his body.

 

Neville stared at his lover. _´He is that now, he has to be, he snogged me in front of my bloody friends! This explains September then.´_

 

“I will need to speak to one from 7th year from each house in my office which will be in the dungeons like before, about how things will be from now on.” He paused, eyes still on McGonagall.

 

“The students will be someone, who most from their own houses like or at best someone to be listened to. It will be those four that will be my contact persons to each house here, someone who has respect from their respective dorm mates.” He glanced around the room.

 

“These four I will summon when I have new rules to be followed or such. Naturally I could use all the prefects, but having been a student here myself I know that they are hardly ever listened to by the majority.”

 

“I see.” McGonagall stated and waited for Snape to go on, having known the man for many years she knew he wanted to choose them himself. She had however, not anticipated to the following four names being called.

 

“Draco Malfoy.” _`Big fat surprise there.´_

The blond-haired male stepped forward from behind the Death eaters wearing his best sneer.

 

“Susan Bones.” _´Huh, this was odd, she of all people hates the Death eaters, why the hell would he choose her?´_ A brave looking Hufflepuff stepped forward too.

 

“Luna Lovegood.” _`What????? She´s an Order member. He knows that.´_ Luna walked slowly to the front at her own pace, making everyone wait for her. Neville had to smile. _´That´s Luna alright.`_

The entire room was now glancing at him. _´Why are they starring? It´s not like I was saying things out loud.´_

“Mr. Longbottom, perhaps you have been spending too much time with Potter and some of his arrogance has finally rubbed off on you?” Neville´s eyes flew to meet the familiar dark orbs.

 

“Huh?” _´Maybe not the best sentence you have ever said.´_

 

“Headmaster or professor Snape will be the choice you will have to make whenever addressing me Longbottom. Now will you stop wasting our time and get over here to the other three students or will one of my friends have to persuade you?”

 

“Oh, I´ll do the itsy bitsy Longbottom-baby the honor.” Bellatrix cackled. “Been years since the last pleasure.”

 

“You will stand down Bella.” He drawled annoyed. “The Dark Lord let me in charge not you, or need I call upon him to remind you that I shall have ´full support from his allies at all times?´”

 

If eyes could kill surely this would be the time for Severus to drop dead from the stare Bella was giving him. He pretended to not notice at all, instead his eyes were piecing Neville´s.

 

Neville stepped forward, still not remembering hearing his name in the first place, of course he had been having a private conversation with his own mind, which happened a lot lately.

 

“I´m sorry, _headmaster.”_ He said and Severus nodded curtly.

 

“Minerva, you will be deputy headmistress naturally.  I trust you to resume for today to what you were doing, we shall meet in the morning to discuss further. My _friends_ will remain at Hogwarts at all times, somewhere, should you have ideas. As long as you all follow the rules, there shall be no punishments and students will still be free to learn. The Dark Lord do not wish for students to be deprived of magic, not even muggleborns, however as you will see tomorrow, there will be changes. As you were. You four will follow me.”

 


	24. Welcome Back

“Sit down.” The headmaster drawled bored, as he sat down behind his familiar desk in his old office in the dungeons. His former quarters had not been cleared out yet, due to the summer holidays at Hogwarts, which suited him just fine.

 

It seemed that the house elves would have their work cut out for them regarding cleaning though, because it had clearly not been touched since his departure. The place was covered in a thick layer of grey dust and Malfoy looked like he had swallowed a lemon. Severus smirked knowingly.

 

Malfoy, Lovegood, Longbottom and Bones took a seat each in the chairs opposite headmaster Snape´s desk and awaited further instructions.

 

Strange really, that none of the four students seemed nervous at all being here in the middle of a clear take-over of their school. _`It seems I have indeed chosen the right students.´_

 

Malfoy was of course a Death eater, so he was one of the bad guys who were now in control of the war, so it seemed to the rest of the word, like their new headmaster.

 

Lovegood and Longbottom were Order members, so they pretty much knew what they got themselves into.

 

Bones was another case all together, but her family had always cooperated with the Order. _´Much of her family have been killed by Death eaters, so either she does no longer care if she lives or dies or she is as brave as the others.´_

Severus studied his four students quietly for a moment in deep thought, as if considering and choosing his words carefully.

 

He fixed his gaze to Malfoy when he finally began speaking. “Your function will be that of student-deputies. Like I told professor McGonagall earlier I do not care to use prefects for this particular task. It is at the upmost importance that whenever I need your help you will come to my office. I then trust you to gather your house and explain to them what needs to be said when you leave my office again. Just like after today´s meeting. It is highly important that you only share with your houses what I agree to or you will all risk the lives of not only yourself but also the entire school. Is that clear?”

 

“Bringing Death eaters into the school will not do the opposite, headmaster?” Neville asked calmly. _´Of course he had to ask that, the bloody Gryffindor.´_

After an appropriate amount of time staring at Neville, Severus responded. “This was the only way I could make sure every muggleborn at school would not be killed. The Dark Lord wants to reform the school so that every wizard can live side by side, without mixing their bloodlines, which leads me to why you are here tonight.”

 

“As of today the following rules will apply to Hogwarts, and you will all present them in your respective houses tonight.” He glared at the two females to make sure that not only Malfoy and Neville had his attention.

 

“Rule one; no muggleborn is allowed to date a pureblood at any time, male or female, no exceptions. Rule two; curfew will be at 9 every night, the only exceptions will require a note from the headmaster himself. Prefects and head boy and girl included. Rule three; talking back to any professor twice in one class will give you a detention with said professor. Rule four; a professor can discipline a student as he or she sees fit.”

 

“Any way, sir? Does that mean torture too?” Malfoy spoke for the first time.

 

“Yes Mr. Malfoy, any way the professor sees fit, which includes the forbidden curses.”

 

“That´s illegal, headmaster.” Bones interrupted.

 

Severus met her eyes. “Yes, but the ministry has fallen, so the rules are bent somewhat as long as it´s for ´educational uses.´

 

“That´s fucking sick. Headmaster.” Neville added quickly.

 

“It is how things must be for the time being. I have chosen the four of you because you all are against the Dark side, thus making me confident to be able to count on you at all times. Even when things go wrong, I must still ask you to be stronger than most. The students of this school will need people to lean on, to look up to for strength.” Surprise and awes met his dark orbs when he glanced around. “I am still on the Order´s side of the war no matter what any of you think or believe, and if I must I will do this without you. However, I would very must like to have you onboard. Can I count on you?”

 

The room was silent. Neville wanted to agree immediately but knew that would look suspicious, so he waited. Luna spoke first. “Yes, headmaster.”

 

“Me two.” Malfoy stated.

 

“And me.” Neville said finally and Bones nodded in agreement too.

 

“Good. That would be all for now.” He said gloomily. “Be careful out there. The Carrows are _insane_.” The students all rose from their chairs when the headmaster spoke again, this time while reading a piece of parchment. “Longbottom, stay behind.”

 

Neville felt his heart skip a beat. Why was he asking him to stay? Will he get to spend time with him, or is he breaking up with me? _´Oh God, please don´t let it be the latter.´_ “Of course, sir.” He shared a look with Luna before she closed the door behind her.

 

Neville sat back down watching the other man while he continued to read on totally ignoring Neville. He was acting strange today, cold and distant. _´Of course he would be, he has just taken over a bloody wizarding school under the orders of a mad man.´_

 

Neville fidgeted with his robes while biting into his cheek nervously. He knew Severus enough to not interrupt him while reading, it must be important, so he waited.

 

He felt his insides burning with desire. He wanted, no he needed to touch Severus. To feel his body, to taste his lips on his own. He had missed him terribly and now he was right there, just few inches away.

 

The door locked, and the privacy spells he had placed when the students entered and removed to let them exit again were now back up. “Are you quite well, you look ill?” He asked, still not looking up at Neville.

 

He couldn´t help it any longer, the words burst out of him, it was the only way for him to stop himself from attacking the other male. “I want to suck you.” _´GOD, what the hell did I just say?´_

 

“If you are low on salt I could send for a house elf so yo-“

 

“Please Severus… I missed you… I´m going bloody insane here…”

 

“Mm.” He turned the parchment over and read the next piece. “Then what is stopping you?”

 

Neville was out of his chair so fast he turned it over and he almost jumped around the desk, where Severus had leaned back in his chair to give the other room, he was however still reading. _`Does he plan on keep that up while I blow him?´_

Neville felt that he did not care as he knelt in front of Severus and without asking again he reached out and unzipped the robes and trousers. The other took a deep breath as fingers brushed over his already half cock.

 

When warm fingers closed around the cock it hardened to full size, and Severus closed his eyes and when it was invited into the young, eager mouth Severus tossed the parchment onto the desk and pulled Neville closer making him gag slightly.

 

He loosened his toll on the younger male´s head and Neville hummed. Severus moaned deeply when the head was sucked between wet lips. He almost exploded right then and there, he had needed this so. “Yes!”

 

Neville moaned and the amazing vibrations made the others body tingle with delight. “Suck harder… fuck yes…you´re such a good slut…”

 

Neville grabbed the sac into his right hand and Severus reacted with a thrust. A tongue rolled over the inviting head. “… but I´m your slut only…” _´God it´s making me hard talking like this. What the hell is he doing to me? I used to be a good boy.´_

“Yes… all mine…”

 

“Prove it…”

 

Severus grunted.

 

“Come for me…” _´Fuck, don´t get mad, I know you want to stay in control.´_

The second after Neville spoke those words he was rewarded with salty drops flooding his mouth. He swallowed while humming in appreciation.

 

When he didn´t make any moves to get up from the floor, the heavy panting headmaster looked down through half open eyes. “Normally I take pleasure in having others at my feet, but you should retire to your house soon, curfew is an hour away only and you need to unpack before class tomorrow I assume?”

 

“I would kneel for you anytime.” _´Fuck, that sounded better in my own head.´_

 

Severus snorted. “Be careful Neville, I just might remember that.”

 

 _`Is he flirting with me? God I want to snog him senseless.´_ “Can I kiss you before I go?” The sentence was out in the open before Neville could stop it.

 

“Only if you promise to let me return the favor on Friday. You can´t be seen here too often, even Death eaters aren´t that thick to not notice.”

 

Neville lifted himself off the floor and bent down bravely to capture the thin familiar lips as a goodnight gesture. Severus´ hands decided to make good use off the hour left before curfew and freed the hard prick in front of him. _´Can´t even control yourself anymore in front of this young, beautiful male? You´re pathetic!´_

Neville moaned as his prick was guided into the hot cave of the headmaster´s mouth. “FUCK, Sev… so good…” Severus sucked harder, just the way Neville liked it _. ´Already got his preferences down do you?´_

“Nghhh… yes!... Sev… I won´t… last… long…”

 

“I´ll take that as a compliment then.” And the wet mouth engulfed the member again and cupped the sac.

 

“YESSSSS!” Neville felt pleasure take over his entire body as his orgasm hit him sooner than he would have liked. “God… you´re too good at that… embarrassing how fast you get me off…”

 

Severus licked his lips and smirked. “Not when I know you do have the ability to last longer, then it´s merely a compliment to my talents.” _`GOD, did he just say that? So much straightforwardness.`_

Neville kissed Severus one last time before shakily standing up. He looked back smiling before grabbing the door knob. “Welcome back to Hogwarts, _professor_.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

“Oh, and sir?”

 

“Yes?” His brows went high up.

 

“I can´t wait to serve detention with you.” The flirting grin cast his way made Severus´ heart skip a beat and he couldn´t help a smile popping up.

 

“Don´t give me ideas, Longbottom.”

 

He laughed and exited the door leaving the new headmaster behind with his own thoughts.

 


	25. Somewhere Unknown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, someone informed me I posted the same chapter twice.  
> STUPID of me.  
> Then I realized that chapter 25 was the wrong one, so I am re-posting the REAL chapter 25 please re-read that!

Three days later during breakfast the owls swooped over the tables like they usually had done prior to the former headmaster´s death. However, now the amount of letters finding their way to the school had minimized greatly.  
People were afraid the Death eaters would snatch them and use whatever information in them against them. Muggleborns´ families might be tracked down and tortured, the letter might be used to bribe off influential wizarding families who wished to live in peace, or the worst thing that could happen; the Death eaters just might force them to enter their own ranks.

If you stayed out of aims fire, then maybe, just maybe you would live through the war unscathed. This was the general belief in the wizarding community lately. Fear was everywhere; mostly parents feared pulling their children out of school, because as long as they did not fight back surely they would all be fine, yes?

This morning at least four students received a letter.  
Neville finished his breakfast while listening to Dean and Seamus talking about the Carrows and their new-found hobby; to provoke students into landing them a detention. 

He opened his letter.  
´Mr. Longbottom.  
Be at my office tonight at half past six to receive deputy related knowledge.  
Headmaster Severus Snape.  
Out of reflex Neville looked around the great hall and he found that Luna and Susan had also gotten a letter, Malfoy was nowhere near but he had a feeling he too had received a letter. What could he possibly want already, it´s only Thursday?

 

*

 

The day went by quite uneventfully, as most students were too afraid to say or do anything that could agitate the Carrows, who already had shown their insane ways on a number of students, so when dinner was approaching and Neville didn´t feel he could eat he decided to walk around the hallways.

He didn´t realize where his feet had taken him until he stood in the lower parts of the castle and his eyes found the headmaster´s door. He cursed at himself for not paying attention when he came face to face with Malfoy.  
He stopped in his tracks as Malfoy stood before him. “Did he call you too?”

“Yes, but not until another hour, I was just out walking in the meantime.”

Malfoy´s eyes narrowed. “And this is where you ended up, out of your own free will?”

Neville shrugged. He was not about to tell Malfoy the truth anyway. “Are you going  
inside now?” He changed the subject.

“Obviously.” Malfoy sneered. Even though they were evidently on the same side of the war, since he trusted Severus in that matter, he was still a git. Stupid ferret.

Neville nodded. “Enjoy then.”

Malfoy crossed his arms over his chest and wore an amused look. “Is that what you do around the headmaster Longbottom?”

“Huh?” What the hell is the git on about now?

Malfoy smirked and leaned closer lowering his voice. “Students don´t usually enjoy their time with professor Snape, do they?” He quirked his right brow in a suggestive manner.

“I guess that would depend on who you are.” Shite, what the devil did I say that for?  
Malfoy laughed. “Really Longbottom, do tell?” He gave him such an intense stare that Neville had no choice but to blush.

“I meant…” He took a steadying breath. “That you seem comfortable with him. He is your god father, so the rumor claims, after all. Which would mean that you might enjoy time wi-… fuck Malfoy, you damn well know what I mean…”

“No, but this is highly interesting. I think I shall have to have a private talk with my dear god father if h-.”

“No!”

Malfoy smirked. “Why would I not speak with someone close to me, Longbottom?”

Neville bit into his cheek. “You can´t tell him what I said. He´ll get angry.”

Malfoy´s eyebrows rose as he studied Neville. “Oh my god Longbottom! You have a crush on him?” He laughed out loud. “Wait ´till my friends-“

“No! You can´t tell anyone Malfoy.”

“Of course I can. I´m a Malfoy, people rely on me for my knowledge, and this is just too priceless to not share.” He smirked knowingly. “You know, he will not instruct his professors to give you higher grades because of this, he might ridicule you of cours-“

“Get inside, the both of you. NOW!” They had been so into their little argument that they had not heard the office door open and the headmaster appear before them.

“Sit.” He ordered them after having used the strongest privacy spells on the room and placing himself behind his desk, scowling at them both In turn. “Draco, you will not tell anyone off your little talk out there, am I making myself clear?” He demanded knowing.

“Why?” He whined like a child being refused presents on his birthday, which was of course ridiculous all together.

“Because I said so, that´s why.”

“I didn´t...” Neville began.

“Keep quiet.” Severus simply retorted and Neville obeyed at once.

“What´s going on Severus? I demand that you tell me! I do not do well with being left out!” Malfoy raised his voice.

Severus made the mistake to glance over at Neville briefly, and someone not as talented in reading body language as Draco was, would never have noticed anything different from that small gesture, but Draco didnotice.

“No…” He said appalled, as he leaned back into the chair. “Severus, tell me that you are not… that Longbottom is… oh my god!” He was on his feet so fast that Neville startled, but Severus who knew Draco let him get this out of his system. “Are you insane? What if the Dark Lord found out? What if his friends… whyhim of all people, why would you..?” He sat down again locking eyes with Severus. “Did you force him, you have something on him that yo-“

“Of course not! What kind of monster do you take me for Draco? Do you not know me at all; have you not known me your entire life?”

“Yes, yes of course. I apologize, this is just. Absurd.” Malfoy glanced from the quiet Longbottom to his god father in disbelief. He licked his lips. “I don´t believe you, this is too odd to be true.” Severus said nothing. Neville said nothing. Malfoy stared at the two of them in turn before deciding his next move. He licked his lips again. “Prove it.”

“What!?” This time Neville spoke up.

“You heard me Longbottom. Show me.”

“Draco!” Severus addressed him firmly. Neville blushed deeply as he looked from one to the other, and Severus caught his eyes. “Don´t you dare even think about it!”

“I thought Gryffindors were supposed to be brave. Are you sure you´re not a Hufflepuff?” Malfoy mocked, pressing Neville further.

“Don´t make me contact your mother Draco.” Severus warned, but this was too good for Draco to let slip by unnoticed. He would just have to deal with the consequences later.  
I am a Gryffindor. Don´t you dare call me otherwise, ferret! Neville got up and Severus met his blue orbs and saw the determination written in them. “I swear to god, if you even think about doing something inappropriate Longbottom…”

“It´s been Neville since June, remember, headmaster.”

“June? This gets better and better by the minute.” Malfoy laughed again.

“Put a sock in it Draco!” The older man said. When Severus looked to his left Neville was already standing there moving closer still. “Don´t you fucking dare move any closer, I  
swear…”

“You´ll hex me?” Neville noticed the wand in his hand pointing at him. Neville sat on the desk in front of Severus who looked simply furious. “You wouldn´t.” He pretended that Malfoy was not there watching them intrigued.

“You fancy me too much, Severus.” His legs were now on either side of Severus´ and he shifted closer. The older man was breathing more heavily. Either he was infuriated or he was aroused? Either way, Neville planned on finding out which. Draco bit his lip to stop himself from laughing.

“If you do this, you live with what happens next.” Severus threatened.

“Mm, you won´t end it.” The younger male replied.

“In a heartbeat. If you think for one second that you are special in any way…”

“I am special, because you would never have gotten involved with any other student.”

“I would never have, had you not begged me in the first place.” He spat.

“Oh, I begged you, did I? Huh, I think we might have different ideas on that matter.” He leaned closer. Draco snorted, still amused with the situation. “Chose.”

“Excuse me?” Severus snarled.

“Your god son wants proof, you chose. Kiss or...”

“Oh my god Longbottom! This is fucking awesome entertainment.” Draco exclaimed.

“Language Draco, your mother would not be pleased!” Severus managed to say.

“So?” Neville grabbed the wand from Severus´ hand and tossed it somewhere before he slipped into Severus´ lap. The other man was so surprised that he froze. “Kiss or blowjob? Having sex in front of Malfoy is a bit too much for me, I think…”

“YOU HAD SEX???” Draco yelled. “Dear god, this is better than I thought!” Nobody seemed to hear him though, which was just ridiculous since he had screamed it.

Neville placed a hand on either side of the back of the other´s chair leaning so close that their faces were inches apart. He smiled as he watched Severus´ chest move up and down rapidly. I´m already in trouble, just do it. “How about this then. You kiss me now, and I´ll blow you after our meeting?” God he´s sexy. Get the fuck out Malfoy.

“You better prepare yourself to crawl to classes tomorrow…” I´m going to fuck you so hard tonight.

Neville´s lips claimed Severus´ seconds after hungrily and Malfoy gasped in shock. Maybe he had thought they were just pretending judging from the sound he made when Neville deepened the kiss. Severus broke the kiss after minutes. “Get out Draco, you´re switching appointment with Neville.”

“Uh, come on Severus…” He whined.

“NOW!” He looked at Neville. “Give me your wand.” He handed it over from within his robes.

“Alright! Spoilsport.” Draco stood and went to the door and as soon as he opened it Severus had pushed him out using magic, locked the door and put the wards out again.

“Bedroom, now…” Neville moved away from the other with a grin and followed as Severus dragged him to the door at the far end of his office, where they went through a door to his private quarters. When they reached the darkened bedroom Severus raised Neville´s wand to give them light but Neville stopped him.

“Don´t - it´s sexier if I have to feel my way around you.” Severus growled in return and smashed their mouthed together.

Their clothes were spelled off and Severus pushed Neville onto the bed and climbed onto the large bed himself. He kissed a trail from his belly button upwards until he reached Neville´s mouth. “Yes, Sev… please… I want you…”

“Spread your legs for me…”

Severus ran his hand down the gorgeous torso over the erect cock, down the sac and ending at the puckered hole. Neville whimpered as Severus pushed gently and the finger disappeared inside his body. “You wasted so much time… should have done this before…” He pulled the older wizard down and kissed him while his finger was moving steadily in and out of his tight hole slowly giving enough room to add another digit.

“Please Severus… I want to touch you…”

“Nobody is stopping you…” Severus sucked Neville´s neck and bit down. The younger man groaned.

“Remove your fingers and lay down.” 

Severus raised his brow; the only parts of him that Neville could currently see through the light reflected from the very small window were his face and shoulders. “Please, you said I could touch you… let me enjoy you… we don´t know when the next time will be…”

Severus almost regretted removing his fingers from the heat when he reluctantly placed himself onto his back and Neville began his exploration trip. He started nipping Severus´ ear, sucking the earlobe into his mouth causing the other to moan deeply. He kissed the jawline in two places and moved on to sucking the pale neck, a hand went into his hair but he shoved it away. “My turn Sev, hands off…”

Severus growled. He was not used to being treated this way at all. Nobody had ever wanted to pay this much attention to his body; it was pleasurable indeed but he was used to being the one in control and this was just; killing him slowly, the pleasure, the attention, the fire burning inside him for release.

“Promise you will let me take control tonight…” Neville kissed the collarbone, the chest and sucked on a nipple causing Severus to buck into the touch. 

“Yes… I promise… damn it…” His hands were shaking with the efforts to hold back on his dominant side; it turned Neville on even more knowing that, sensing that.  
A tongue trailed downwards and Severus growled in frustration when Neville refused to suck his cock into the heat he was offering the rest of his body. 

“Patience baby…” Severus banged his fists angrily into the madras. Neville chuckled with delight. “You want my mouth on your gorgeous cock?”

“YES!”

He smiled even though he knew Severus could not see it, then he licked the head and Severus melted into his touch like butter on a warm piece of toast. “Ahh… more…” Neville sucked the head gently. “Are you trying to drive me fucking insane?” Neville chuckled again.

“You are so insanely sexy… do you realize that, hm?” He caressed the sac gently while licking the cock. “So much in control all the time…” He licked the sac.

“God yes Neville… more…”

“And now… you´re here… begging me… uhm… so hot Sev…” He licked lower, where he had not done before with this man.

“Neville…” Severus warned huskily.

“Don´t deny me this Severus… please…” Neville grabbed a pillow and placed under the other´s behind, lifted the sac gently, pushing the man´s legs further apart when he felt Severus freeze. Neville didn´t want to give Severus the opportunity to stop him so he leaned forward and licked below the sac hitting where he knew the pink puckered, inviting hole would be.

Severus growled in surprise. “Neville… what…” Neville sucked and Severus moaned. He licked again this time pushing to enter the hole. Please let me. Severus relaxed so Neville could taste him with his tongue. Severus had never in his life allowed another to do this. It was just too private, and too submissive. Having Neville taking control was however, a huge turn-on, something he would never have believed to admit, ever. “Oh my god…”

“Do you want me to stop?” Please say no.

He panted heavily. “Don´t… you… dare… more… now...” Neville hummed and offered more, it´s not like he had any choice when the other was begging him for it.

“Can I use my fingers?” He dared to ask. “You liked it the last time I did it.” He quickly added.

“I don’t… I never let…” Severus closed his eyes. “Just do it…”  
Neville sucked the sac into his mouth again and Severus growled with need. A finger brushed over the tight hole where the muscles clenched down, he massaged it gently until Severus relaxed more and then began pushing inside. “Jesus mother of God…” He cursed when Neville began moving in and out and he accidently hit the prostate. “More damn it!”

Neville grinned and replaced the finger by two. “Fuck, so tight… oh god Sev..”

“Yes! Move them!” So much for not wanting this huh Sev? Neville moved faster in and out of the tight hole, which was slowly expanding under his talented touch. Severus hardly noticed the addition of a third finger minutes later, he was so worked up.  
Neville began rubbing in circles around the prostate and Severus lost it, right then and there. “Bloody fucking hell... YES… fuck me… right now!”

“W-what?” Neville burst out in surprise. “But you said tha-“

“I don´t give a shite what the fuck I said… fuck my arse with your huge cock, right fucking now!”

Neville removed his fingers and took a deep breath. God I want this so bad, I never thought he would let me. Please don´t come right away Neville! He lubricated his cock and placed himself at the opening. “Now is not the time to hesitate… you want this… now I´m allowing it… do it…” Severus growled in heat.

Neville pushed and both males moaned in unison. “My god… so tight..”

“Stop stalling… I need you… now…” Neville nearly came hearing his headmaster´s plea. He took a steadying breath and began thrusting in slow and hard moves.

“Fuck Sev… not going to last long… so fucking good…”

“I don´t care… you teased every inch so long… I´m about to…. aahhh yees…. more… harder…”

“Stop clenching down, I´ll… fuuuuck, YES…. ooooh god…”  
Severus cried out when hot semen filled him and his own orgasm washed over him. Neville collapsed on top of Severus. “S-sorry, will move.” He made to get up but Severus dragged him closer.

“Don´t you dare you divine piece of man, don´t you fucking dare move for the next ten minutes.”

Neville laughed. “Good, ´cos I´m exhausted…” He caressed the ribs below him gently and Severus closed his eyes contented.


	26. A Room

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait.  
> It was my firstborn´s deathday the 6th of June, so I was, yeah, well, here is the next one.

_The fourth week of September …_

Neville, like every other 7th year, had been too busy for much more than studying, practicing and keeping himself standing after classes with the Carrow´s. in addition to that he had the duties that the headmaster had given him; to take care of his door mates´ wellbeing for keeping up moral.

 

Severus had explained to his four deputies that they were needed to prevent the students from losing their minds and will to fight against the dark side when the time would come for the final battle.

 

They had to admit that the former potion´s master was bloody brilliant in thinking and arranging this too, and right under the other Death eater´s noses.

 

                                            *

 

”We so need a place to teach and practice defense spells with those who want to help the Order here at Hogwarts.” Dean said dreamily.

 

“Yeah, we can´t risk anything with the crazy Carrow´s around, not out in the open anyway.” Neville chimed in rubbing his arm where a still healing cut from his last detention still appeared.

 

“Especially not with most of the Slytherins lurking around.” Seamus admitted gloomily.

 

The silence consumed the dormitory for a long moment. “I think I might have an idea, but I can´t tell you more right now.” Neville exclaimed excitedly as he got up.

 

“Oi, where are you going?” Seamus wondered.

 

“Owlery.” Neville Yelled up the stairs.

 

                                            *

 

Neville, Dean and Seamus presented the idea to other Order members at Hogwarts, more precisely to professors McGonagall and Flitwick in McGonagall´s office the following week before dinnertime. “Fred and George have invented some kind of eavesdropping devise that can be used when a silencing charm is cast. It´s based on muggle technology their father has read about. You know how much he loves muggle ideas. Apparently the Ministry was very interested and had agreed to finance it.” Neville spoke almost as if he had been rehearsing this.

 

“They will only be for ministerial tasks and purposes, to ensure that it will not turn out to be some kind of every man´s spy-on-your-spouse device. I sent in an application form to get one for Order-use. They were reluctant at first, naturally, but once I went on about winning the war and all, well…” Neville finished and pulled out a Gryffindor badge, the one every Gryffindor wore with the rest of their uniform and grinned. He also found the receiver, which was a radio that he used the ´engorgio´ charm on.

 

Both professors looked taken aback and stared at the devices in disbelief before Flitwick said. “How does it work then Mr. Longbottom?”

 

Seamus took over the conversation at this moment. “You turn on this radio on channel two, and then the person who has borrowed the spying device thingy touches it with his or hers wand, in this case badge, and says ´I hear you´. Then the ones around this radio can hear the conversation loud and clear, but they cannot hear us in return of course.”

 

Seamus grinned too now. “It´s bloody brilliant. The twins made a ton of money on this I tell you.” Dean added smiling broadly.

 

“If I say ´off´ while touching it, it shuts down again.” Neville said.

 

“What use will this be to us Mr. Longbottom, why did you borrow it?” Professor McGonagall seemed to have gotten her voice back.

 

Neville hesitated. “I plan on speaking to the headmaster while using it. To ask for his help in getting us the room to train and meet secretly for the Order members in. The subject I told you both about last night.”

 

Professor McGonagall shook her head. “I will not allow you to speak to _that_ man alone, under no circumstances Mr. Longbottom. He will turn you in, or worse punish you himself.”

 

“With all due respect professor, I didn´t plan on _asking_ your permission.” The old woman pursed her lips and was about to respond when Neville spoke again. “But I would like it anyway.”

He waited for her to answer him this time and he saw the shared look between the two professors sitting opposite from their three students. Finally she nodded.  “Very well Mr. Longbottom.”

 

“When would you like this to take place Mr. Longbottom?” Flitwick asked him worriedly. It felt really odd to have his professors await his instructions, but at the same time it felt great too. ´There was that confidence again,´ he thought.

 

“I think now would be good.” Neville saw the sudden looks of concern on the faces of his fellow Order members, but they all nodded quietly. “Before we do this, I would like your word that whatever you hear _not_ concerning the training room will not leave this room. I cannot tell you more now.” McGonagall´s eyes narrowed as she observed Neville closely as if trying to figure out what he meant but agreed to it all the same, as did the other three in the room. “Excellent.” Neville said and turned on the radio on channel two, touched the badge and said “I hear you,” before leaving the room.

 

                                            *

 

Neville knocked on the Headmaster´s office door. Snape had not wanted to occupy the late Albus Dumbledore’s office, the office which was mostly used by any Head of the school. He had after all been the one to murder him. His own friend. The closest thing he had been to having a family for many years too. Instead Snape had claimed his rooms in the dungeons back after returning to Hogwarts again.

 

Neville could hear a spell being removed, most definitely one of many. It might be to prevent students or professors to barge in unwanted but Neville had a feeling  that Snape used that as an excuse for keeping other Death eaters out too, at least that would be a reasonable reason for them not questioning Snape´s actions.

 

The office door swung open and Neville stood face to face with his former potions professor. Severus looked tired, very tired. His eyes were slightly red and beneath them he saw dark rings probably caused by stress and lack of sleep too.

 

Severus stared at Neville with a look the young man didn´t quite understand what meant, but then the look changed to his usual stone face. “What do you want Mr. Longbottom, I´m busy?” He drawled. Neville peered inside as if checking for other visitors but when he found none he responded.

 

“Why thank you, tea would be nice.” He leaned against the doorframe observing Severus waiting for him to explode.

 

 _“Longbottom you fool.” McGonagall said as they listened to the conversation._ _“I can´t believe the manner in which he is speaking to Severus. How does he expect to accomplish anything from that!” She breathed loudly._

 

Severus eyed Neville a while longer before stepping aside and allowing him access to his office. Neville walked by and sat down across his desk waiting for Severus to sit too. He did sit down eventually behind his desk, after having closed the door with a loud bang and returning the silencing spell.

 

“Mifly.” A house elf appeared at once. “Bring tea please.” He added not looking away from Neville.

 

“Of course Headmaster, Mifly will be doing that right away.” The elf disappeared again and Severus leaned back in his chair silently observing Neville until Mifly returned with a tray of tea and biscuits. Severus thanked the elf.

 

“Help yourself, Longbottom.” He pointed to the tray but otherwise made no effort to move.

 

Neville poured some tea for himself and took a biscuit taking a bite before placing it on his plate and speaking. “I assume your hands are still working so you can get your own tea?” Neville provoked Severus.

 

“Sir.” Severus added for him.

 

“No need to address me that way Headmaster, Neville is just fine.” Neville smirked and Severus´ face looked fumed.

 

_“What the hell is wrong with Longbottom today is he trying to get himself killed?” McGonagall exclaimed. Dean and Seamus shook their heads too in disbelief of their friend´s attitude. They had to, to pretend they didn´t know about Snape and Neville._

 

“You will address me with a ´sir´ or ´headmaster´ Mr. Longbottom.” Severus growled and banged his fist into his desk. Neville smiled at him and leaned back in his chair. “Well, I´m waiting!” Severus spat.

 

“There´s nobody here but us.” Neville sipped his tea slowly and merely went on telling Severus why he was here. “The Order members need a safe place to train away from the Carrows; I am here for your help to arrange that room for us, Severus.” He added his first name and he could have sworn that Severus took a deep breath at hearing his name spilled from Neville´s lips. _´Did he enjoy  hearing it so much, is that why he wants me to call him professor?´_

 

_Flitwick shook his head. “This will not end well Minerva. Maybe we should get him out of there?”_

_“Give him some time, please professor. I am hoping he knows what he is doing. For some reason Snape has not thrown his out of his office yet.” Dean asked and Flitwick simply nodded._

 

Severus got up from his chair and walked to his book shelf across the room closer to the door. At first Neville thought he would throw him out now, but instead Severus stood there silently for a while in deep thoughts it seemed, because he had not taken down any books or made any movements at all.

 

Neville stood and walked to where Severus was standing. He didn´t know why but he placed a hand on Severus´ right shoulder making the man jump in surprise and turn around. “I know you cannot tell me anything right now, and I also know that you have never betrayed the Order. You shared the memory of Dumbledore´s death with me for a reason. Did Voldemort do something? I want to know.” Neville spoke quietly.

 

_“What on earth is going on? Do you two know anything about this?” McGonagall demanded. Dean and Seamus shook their heads. No reason getting themselves into trouble too._

 

“Get out Longbottom.” Severus drawled at him, but Neville didn´t move. “I said get the fuck out, NOW!” Severus yelled. _´Something must be really wrong.´_

 

“No.” Neville replied. A less brave man would have crawled away from the look in Severus´ eyes. A younger Neville would have. In an instant Severus had his wand out. Neville reacted and pushed him against the wall. “You wanna kill me, huh? Go ahead Severus, prove _them_ right. Speak the words, point that wand at me.” Neville provoked.

 

“You insufferable, asshole Longbottom.” Severus spat. ` _Please leave, you weaken me so.´_

 

_“Dear God, we have to get him out of there.”_

_“No Minerva. Let the boy press him, I don´t know why, but something is off. The Snape we knew would never have let anyone speak to him that way.” McGonagall began pacing the room in worry._

Neville, who was the same height as Severus, stared directly into his dark eyes while holding him against the wall with almost no effort. Then again he _was_ twenty years younger. “You shouldn´t speak words you don´t mean, Severus.” _`Let me help you.´_

 

“Oh, I promise you I mean them!” He yelled to his face while spit flew everywhere. _´Of course I don´t mean them.´_

 

 Neville sighed in response. “The Order needs you.” He looked away for a moment while speaking the next couple of words. “ _I_ need you.” He met Severus´ eyes once more.

 

Severus´ face softened but only for a moment. “Longbottom…” He warned but Neville didn´t care.

 

“No, you have to listen to me…”

 

“No, I don´t! I´m the one who fucking run the school and I…”

 

“Shut up. Just shut the fuck up. I know what kind of pressure you´re under. You don´t have to deal with this alone any more. I´m here Severus, right here.” Severus looked like he was about to explode and then Neville simply leant in ignoring it, and Severus went paler and shock was written across his face.

 

“N-no Longbottom, he already suspects something is off....” He pushed him away from him but not nearly enough. Neville moved closer again. Severus looked flushed and Neville enjoyed the sight of this powerful man, who was always in control of himself and who played the two most talented wizards that ever lived against each other, look powerless under his touch.

 

“Severus..”

 

“Don´t…” Severus placed his finger to Neville´s lips to stop them from kissing him. Neville placed a small kiss to that finger and watched Severus´ eyes close and open again. “I-I can´t… No kissing… you know why.”

_“WHAT??????” Dean shouted. “Neville wants to kiss Snape????”_

_“Oh my god, has he lost his bloody mind?” Seamus added. The look of absolute confusion and horror written in McGonagall´s face. They were playing their cards well._

_“I admit this does not make any sense. However, we will find out I think, if we just listen.” Flitwick said._

 

“Severus…” Neville pleaded.

 

“No!” Severus said firmly. “You know I cannot any more… The Dark Lord will… if he finds out…” He added.

 

“We´re at war of course people die.” Neville said. 

 

Severus shook his head not trusting his own voice right now.  

 

Severus pulled himself together. “You need to leave, right now, _Neville_. It´s not safe for you anymore.”

 

_“Neville??” Minerva said. “Is that what he called him, Filius?” The short wizard nodded._

 

“Y-you…” Neville tried. Neville gently turned Severus´ face to make him look at him. At the touch to his skin Severus drew in a sharp breath.

 

“Look at me.” He spoke softly. “I know you push everyone away; teachers, students, Order members… Because you think it´s _your_ fault they…”

 

“It _is_ my fault they die!” Severus yelled.

 

“None of this is your doing. It´s Voldemort who…”

 

“No! If _I_ hadn´t brought them into my life they would never have...”

 

“Stop. Just STOP! You didn´t force anyone to spend time with you… to care about you… They chose to! If you would just stop this stupidity and let the people around you get to know the real you they would…”

 

“They would WHAT, Neville? Huh? See what a _great_ person I am? They would _love_ me? Just like _you_ do I´m sure, maybe they would…” Severus said sarcastically.

 

“Yes.” Neville interrupted. Severus stopped speaking at once.

 

_“Oh dear…” Flitwick burst out and Seamus sank back in his chair in disbelief._

 

“What did you say?” Severus almost whispered. “I told you, you can´t…”

 

“Why don´t you want me to kiss you, Severus? We´ve talked about this all summer. You´re not my professor anymore, there is no rule against it then. And I´m 17, so I´m of age. The last times we were together you seemed to…”

 

_“Did he just say they were together before????” McGonagall asked in shock. The others didn´t say anything, they waited to hear more._

 

 “ _Don´t_ Longbottom. Don´t you _dare_ say any more!”

 

“Stop calling me _that_ , damn it!”

 

“It´s your fucking name!”

 

“I know what you´re doing. You´re refusing to use my first name to create some sort of distance between us…”

 

“There _is_ no _us_!” Severus spat, as if trying to convince himself. Neville let go of Severus but neither moved away from the wall.

 

“You failed miserably, you know, your plan to make everyone loathe you. I did for years, obviously, because you treated me worse than even Harry, but then I began pitying you two years ago and at the end of sixth school year it changed. But I guess you know that.”

 

“Stop speaking and just leave.” Severus said wearily but Neville just moved closer.

 

“Pretending it´s not _true_ does not make it so… We´re good together, stop denying that we´re not…” He pushed against Severus´ body eyes boring into the older man´s dark ones, he cupped his face. “Severus, I l-”

 

“Don´t you _dare_ say it.” Severus placed a finger against Neville´s lips to stop the flow of words. Neville smiled at him and Severus knew he had lost as Neville gently pulled down the fingers enabling him to express how he feels. “Please don´t…”

 

“I love you…” Neville finished. Severus closed his eyes letting warmth fill up his body.

 

_“Oh my god, oh my god, OH MY GOD!!!!!” Dean repeated over and over. Flitwick looked so confused blinking rapidly like he had heard wrong, and McGonagall might faint._

_“Well, I guess Snape will be satisfied. I should know, I taught Neville what he knows.” Seamus let slip out and every pair of eyes flew to meet his as he grinned._

 

Neville caressed Severus´ cheek making him open his eyes. Neville thought better of kissing him, not wanting the man to be angry, which seemed stupid considering their conversation really, but still he moved away and walked towards the door. Severus spoke softly. “I´ll find you a room.”

 

Neville turned to look at the man. “I know, Severus.”

 

A sudden tear fell from Neville´s eye. Maybe it was _relief_ from finally admitting to his own feelings, maybe it was _shock_ in knowing someone had listened to their conversation, or maybe, just maybe it was _hope_.

 

Severus placed his left hand over Neville´s on the door sighing. Neville knew that was all he could ask to get from Severus from this point in time. After all he was risking his life playing the role of Death eater still, and this time without the Order to back him up.

 

“Neville?” Severus said tentatively.

 

“Yeah?”

 

Severus moved closer to the other pressing him against the door. Neville closed his eyes momentarily as Severus caressed his right check letting his finger run down his jawline and over his moist, young lips. Their eyes met and locked, a small genuine smile played across Severus´ thin lips before he leaned in and brushed his lips gently against Neville´s briefly.

 

Neville pulled him back as he claimed the lips he was offered demanding another kiss. It was soft and gentle before turning persistent when Severus demanded entrance to Neville´s warm mouth. He relented, the kiss causing his knees to weaken as Severus sucked his tongue before letting his own caress Neville´s.

 

 Neville´s head was spinning as he felt the headmaster´s erection rubbing against his own and Severus´ mouth swallowed the moan Neville gave. Moments after their lips parted just as gently as they had met, and with clouded eyes and a nearly dysfunctional voice Neville said. “I guess we can rule out they died from kissing you…”

 

Severus snorted as he rested his head against the younger man´s. Neville touched Severus´ face while saying. “Everything about you is amazing…”

 

Severus knew he had to get Neville out of there, he had already done too much, he shouldn´t have done this at all. He moved away and Neville took his cue. _´Dear God please let him leave; I cannot fight it much longer.´_ Severus thought. _`Don´t say it back, don´t do it!`_

 

The door opened and Severus watched Neville exit and smile at him before the door closed once more, leaving the cold emptiness behind to roam his office. “He will surely be the end of me…”

 


	27. The Road to Hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, someone informed me I posted the same chapter twice.  
> STUPID of me.  
> Then I realized that chapter 25 was the wrong one, so I am re-posting the REAL chapter 25 please re-read that!

”Severussss, my friend. How are things at school?” Severus knew a question from the Dark Lord permitted him to finally glance up and meet the snake-man´s eyes, which he did not wanting to show him any weaknesses.

 

“My Lord, the staff is following your rules regardless of what you expected, the student are learning to find their new places in the wizarding world. There has been no report of any mixture of muggleborns and purebloods in the two months I have been headmaster.” He bowed his head as a sign of deep respect. _´The moron does not have to know I have none of that towards him.´_

“Very good, Severusss. You have always been one of the few servants I could rely on the most to succeed.”

 

 _`Compliments always mean trouble, guard yourself.´_ Severus thought, as he tried his best to look unafraid.

 

“Someone has told me the most interesting thing. Would you know, that rumor has it, that you have finally found yourself a partner in life Severusss?”

 

_`If I admit to it he will not stop until he discovers who it is, if I lie and he finds out…´_

“My Lord, this is news to me, however, I will admit to having found someone to help me with my _needs_ , after all being a faithful servant to you requires to always be calm, concentrated and keeping focus on the task I am given.”

 

The Dark Lord laughed. “Yesss, you are right of course.” He studied Severus for a few moments. “I assume you have chosen a man?”

 

Severus blinked in wonder before wearing his stone mask once more. “My Lord?”

 

He smiled. “Of course you would. No other woman would you allow to fill out the empty space you so stubbornly keep inside yourself, from that Potter woman.”

 

Severus froze. ´ _Breathe Severus, don´t snap.´_

“It´s fine my faithful friend, you are not like me, and you have other ways to be content. I know you would not be fish enough to let love into your life again, not when it almost ruined our friendship the last time, and I will not be as tolerant one more time. You understand?”

 

“Of course my Lord. It is merely for physical needs.”

“Good, good. Maybe you could help Fenrir out with someone for that also, he has been acting to out of place lately, I would hate to terminate another servant of his caliber. You are not against sharing, yes?”

Severus almost lost his composure. “My Lord, I don´t think that-“

 

“Nonsense Severuss, unless you are not been honest with me, then there should not be any reason why you could not do this favor to me?”

 

“No, my Lord.” _`Dear god, what will I do?´_

“Excellent. What is his name? I always like to know my allies, you know?”

 

_´Fuck. You have to lie, if he finds out-´_

“Look at me.” They locked eyes. “Now tell me this man´s identity. You have indeed looked better for months, so I shall allow you to continue this _affair_ should you chose to, but I must insist on a name.”

 

Severus swallowed and took a deep breath.

 

The Dark Lord leaned back in his chair smirking. “He is not an ally? This is most unexpected Severusss.”

 

“My Lord, I give you my word he is not receiving any information from me that-“

 

“You have never given me any reason to doubt you Severusss, I shall believe you. His name?”

 

“My Lord…”

 

The Dark Lord took in a deep breath or air before speaking. “I see.” He stood up with his wand drawn. “I have warned you after that Potter female not to let your heart out ever again, I have explained to you the importance to having you beside me during this wizarding reformation, have I not? You have disappointed me gravely, my friend.”

 

He stopped in front of Severus who had kneeled in front of him.

 

“However, should you reveal his identity to me, I shall spare his life, if-“

 

He forced Severus to look at him. “- you share him with Fenrir.”

 

Severus had only let down his guard for a second, less than a second, but for the Dark Lord that moment had been enough. Severus flinched as he searched his mind, swimming, prodding and poking around. It was a painful experience when the Dark Lord was angry. Severus fell to the floor.

 

“ The Longbottom boy…” He hissed. Severus didn´t know if it was a positive or not response the discovery, but he knew what was coming next.

 

“I will have to punish you for lying to me my friend. You understand that, yes?”

 

“Yes, my Lord.” He said in a neutral tone.

 

“Crusssio…”

 


	28. To Do What Is Needed

Neville knocked on the headmaster´s door after dinner time, when he had excused himself, much to his friend´s amusement because they knew how much the two of them missed being around on another, and with the NEWTs and the secret training against the Death eaters taking up a lot of Neville´s time, it was hard to find occasions to meet.

 

“Enter,” the baritone voice called from the other side and Neville turned the knob and opened the door shortly after. The dark-haired male met his eyes at once as he sat in his chair behind the desk leaning back with his hands clasped together. “Sit down, we have to talk.”

 

 _I don´t like this at all, he looks, different._ “Okay,” Neville simply said in return, but instead of using the chair opposite Severus´ he went behind the desk and sat on the desk with one leg on either side of the other´s knees, receiving a couple of narrowed eyes looking back at him. Neville smiled flirtingly leaning slightly forward and placing a kiss to the thin lips he had longed for the past two weeks since he last could taste then.

 

“I missed you,” he ran his thumb over the same lips after pulling away again. “Can we not talk for now and just…”

 

Severus´ heart was racing under the male´s touch, “just what?” Severus grabbed Neville and pulled him onto his lap, Neville wrapped his arms over his shoulders and stared into the dark orbs.

 

“Make out… I want you inside me…” Severus growled with need. _This was not why I asked you here you bloody tease._ “Mm, kiss me…” Neville leaned nearer still, waiting for Severus to obey, from the way his pupils were dilating he knew he would.

 

Severus took a steading breath, Neville was intoxicating to him. He had changed something deep within him over the past months’ time, and he had trouble refusing the young male, and he hated that feeling, but the things he _did_ to him instead, he both loved and longed for. He caressed the young, handsome face in front of him, “you have too much control over me, did you know?”

 

Neville smiled broadly at these words, “Mm, maybe you just need to lose control more often, love,” he was tired of waiting for a kiss so he initiated one.

 

Severus moaned, which gave Neville room to slide his tongue into his wetness deepening the kiss. Severus pulled him closer and ran his hands down his back, ending at his ass, which he grabbed firmly causing Neville to moan too. “Yes, please Sev… want you… fuck me…”

 

“God…” Severus panted, “you fucking tease… bedroom, NOW!” _You´re getting sidetracked!_

_Fuck yes!_ Neville eagerly obeyed the older man, got off him and scrambled towards the offered room in question. He was about to ask the other something when Severus pushed him forcefully onto the bed and silenced him with his mouth. He kissed down his neck and marked him as his with a bite near his pulse, “fuck…”

 

“That´s the idea…” He answered teasingly as his hands searched for his wooden wand to remove the clothes between them, today was no day for slow undressing. When they were both naked Severus took a few seconds to take in the gorgeous sight that met his eyes. “So beautiful,” he leant over Neville sucking on a nipple.

 

He bucked into the touch, “I love when you touch me, fuck yes,” hands went into dark hair pushing him lower.

 

Severus chuckled, “eager for me to taste you?”

 

“Yessss, been so long, pleeease…”

 

Severus´ hand caressed the sac; Neville spread his legs further to give him more room to work with, which he took advantage of at once by running a finger over the small, inviting hole just waiting for him to abuse it. “Do you want my finger?” His husky, silky voice asked before he licked the tip of the hardening member.

 

“Holy crap… YES!”

 

Severus pushed his finger inside Neville´s mouth. “Suck it…” _Sweet Merlin, he´s a damn god, look at him sucking it into his mouth and then looking at me with those eyes._ “Do you want me to fingerfuck you with that?” Neville bit the finger and moaned in response. Severus took the digit back and ran it over the puckered hole, gently pushing into the heat.

 

“Sweet fucking hell… yes…” Neville cursed when his lover moved the digit in and out. “More…” Severus smirked and added another finger willingly. “Please… no more teasing, baby… fuck me now…”

 

Severus sucked the engorged cock´s head into his mouth, Neville bucked and groaned in anticipation, “Sev, _please_ … suck harder… fuck me harder too…”

 

The headmaster growled with need after his young lover, “I love when you beg, my little Gryffindor slut…” Neville responded by pushing himself down onto the three fingers roughly pounding into his tight hungry hole.

 

“Baby… you need to… so good… please… stop… want you inside when I come…” His body shook when Severus stilled both his mouth and fingers. Neville grabbed Severus´ wand from the bedside table. _You have never trusted anyone with your wand before Severus, stop pretend to not caring for the boy._ He lubed his lovers cock as Severus removed the fingers from his abused, horny hole and immediately rubbed his cock against it instead.

 

“Yessss… god yes… stop teasing me…” He pushed back and the head slid inside. Both males moaned out loud.

 

“Sweet Merlin, so fucking tight… all mine…” He caught Neville´s eyes before slamming roughly into him.

 

“Oooh… don´t stop moving… please baby… fuck m-“ Severus began moving stopping Neville´s flow of words. “Nguuhh..” He only took two tries before finding his prostate… Only a couple of minutes later the younger man´s body began shaking again… “Sev´rus… S-soorry… can´t… OOOOOH! Fucking hell…” Neville´s orgasm was pulled away from him and he lay back panting with his eye closed.

 

“Can you take more?” Severus asked, still not having finished.

 

“GOD, yes… fuck my ass with your huge cock… please…” Severus growled while he pumped in and out more rough than ever and Neville squeezed down around him. “Is that all you´ve got, big man like you I would have thought tha- FUCK!” Neville threw his head back against the pillow when another orgasm began tearing through his sedated body, “how the… devil... did you…” With one final thrust Severus came with such force that Neville feared the semen would make his ass explode entirely, well, maybe two orgasms would do that to you.

 

Severus pulled out and lay down. Neville moved closer and wrapped an arm over the man´s torso. “I love you…” Severus closed his eyes hearing those words for the second time from Neville. “Hey..” Neville hoisted his body up onto his elbow, caressing Severus´ lips with his thumb, “you enjoy out time together?”

 

“Of course I do.” He whispered.

 

“You want to continue?”

 

“Yes…” He admitted for the first time out loud.

 

“And do you,” he kissed him gently, “care about me?” He leaned back slightly to watch the other´s reaction to his question. Severus raised a hand to Neville´s face.

 

“More than I should…” His eyes shone and Neville smiled lazily.

 

“That´s all I ask for… I can wait for the words… until you are ready…” He kissed him again, “as long as you will let me express my feelings…”

 

Severus kissed Neville thoroughly, “I will.”

 

“Good…” He sat up suddenly, “and I won´t run, just because of a werewolf…”

 

Severus flew up from the bed so fast he almost forgot to bring his body with him. “What??”

 

Neville glanced to his left, “when you are with me, you forget to bring up your shield sometimes…” He took a deep breath, “I can…”

 

“You can what?” His eyes narrowed.

 

“Let him… to keep you alive until the war ha-“

 

“Don´t you dare offer yourself up like that! You are going to run away from school right after you get your stuff, and then yo-“

 

Neville placed his hand over the talking mouth to stop him, “I love you, did you hear me, if I run Voldemort will kill you…”

 

“I will not let you get … He will not touch you that way… I can take whatever the hell the Dark Lord throws at me…”

 

“I love you Severus… nothing is more important… Besides, I love rough sex, I can handle it for a few months…”

 

Severus spluttered. “You… w-what… I can´t let…” He closed his eyes and shook his head.

 

“I promise… I´ll think of you…”

 

“That´s not what I´m bloody worried about… his insane, he´ll..”

 

“Force him to take the potion before.”

 

“Potion?”

 

“I don´t recall its name, the once that prevents a werewolf´s bite to have no effect on a human when it´s not a full moon… you taught it too us in our third year…” Severus raised a brow. “What? I listen!” He shot back. “Look Severus… I won´t let the snake man hurt you more than he has to… I´m doing this… for you…” He cupped his face, “for us…”

 

Severus shook his head in refusal. “Do you love me too?” He forced the other to meet his blue eyes. “The truth…”

 

“I can´t… Neville I…”

 

“I won´t make you say the words now, just… I need to know…”

 

After a minute the dark-haired man spoke, “yes, that´s why he´s is punishing me like this… forcing me to… witness you suffor…”

 

Neville smiled. _How can he smile? Greyback is claiming him as his toy and he fucking smiles, bloody Gryffindors. My god I love him too._

 


	29. Telling Secrets

The first week of November came to an end and the Secret Student’s Army, SSA, had just finished training right after dinnertime on the sixth floor, where the headmaster had found them a large room. The rain was pouring down heavily outside and the lightning came every other minute. The moods amongst students and most staff members inside the castle were awful due to the behaviors of the damn Carrows. Not a single day went by lately, when one of the two did not have detention with a student, and each time they came back with injuries that had to be healed.

 

“Can´t we just kill them both and make it look like an accident?” Ginny exclaimed, and the others were quite sure that she was _not_ joking. Even though most of the sixth and seventh years in Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Gryffindor and a few from Slytherin were in the SSA, a small group of friends always stuck together. Neville, Luna, Dean, Seamus and Ginny to be exact. Had the Golden Trio been here they would naturally also have been with them, but alas, they were still on whatever mission Dumbledore had sent them on. Well, technically he had sent Harry, as far as they had learned from the headmaster, but of course Hermione and Ron would not let Harry go on his own to get killed.

 

“Severus says we can´t, it will only be more dangerous around here. If the Carrows end up dead under the nose of the headmaster he will be punished, furthermore he might sent worse Death eaters to teach here, like McNair.” Neville spoke softly.

 

Seamus shuddered before chiming in. “I say we keep the Carrows instead, he´s insane I tell ya. He murde´d tha Bones family back in September on his own, just fur tha fun of i´.”

 

“I heard about that. That´s why Susan got pulled out by her uncle from Belgium, right?” The dark-skinned male offered his knowledge. “Imagine losing your entire family in one night, all gone.”

 

The blonde female nodded, “must be horrible, I hope she returns one day to Britain, I always liked her.”

 

The rest agreed.

 

“Sev wants me to run away.” The four turned to look at him in puzzlement. “Apparently last week Voldemort found out we were dating, or whatever to call it.” He shrugged, “like hell I´m running anywhere, I´ll fight with the rest right here.”

 

“How did he know? What happened to Snape when he found out?” It was Ginny´s turn to speak up. Neville drew in a deep breath, knowing that the five of them had become so close that nobody would ever reveal what they talked about outside of this room.

 

“Voldemort punished him for ten minutes. That´s why no one saw him for three days after, it took him that long to recover, the bastard needs him, so naturally he cannot kill him, yet, or hurt him too much, like what happened to my mom and dad.”

 

“Bastard.” Dean said.

 

“Yeah, but he read Sev´s mind, so he obviously knows he cares about me, so…”

 

“What?” Ginny and Seamus asked in unison.

 

Neville gulped, he dreaded telling his friends, he knew it would be kept a secret, but had no idea how they would react, “he ordered Sev to share me.”

 

“What do you mean share Neville?” Luna asked what everyone was thinking. Neville bit his bottom lip and looked to the floor before finding his courage.

 

“He wants me to satisfy Greyback.” The shocked silence said it all. Nobody knew what to say, or how to calm their friend. Neville waited, and waited, until the redhead blinked and spoke first.

 

“Y-you´re not…” She swallowed. “Snape is right, you _have_ to run Nev, you can´t possible…” He shook his head.

 

“I´m staying Gin, I can handle Greyback. Sev will brew a potion so he can´t bite me if he gets the urge, so-“

 

“Mate, that´s insane.” Dean said appalled to hear his best friend offering to make this kind of sacrifice. Neville smiled.

 

“Nah, with the potion and Severus will be there too, he can only give me rough sex, which is what I get anyway, so…” He winked and Seamus actually laughed.

 

“Ya´ fuckin´ freak Nev! Threesome with two Death eaters, huh? Who knew ya´ had it in ya´” He laughed even harder and Dean joined him.

 

“It´s still freaking me out mate, Snape better watch over you, if that wolf harms you in any way…”

 

“…We´ll fucking boil him in acid, slowly…” Ginny chimed in, making Neville snort and Luna shudder.

 

“Sometimes Ginny, _you_ freak me out.” They all laughed, not because it was funny what Neville had decided, because it was not, but because the only three things they had left were friendship, bravery and humor.

 

“When?” Seamus asked after a while and the silence got to him.

 

Neville shifted a little, “two days from now will be the first time.” Seamus simply nodded gloomily. “Hey come on guys, it could be worse…”

 

Their eyes narrowed as they looked at Neville, “could be Bellatrix…” And this time it was Dean who laughed first before the others joined him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you´re still out there ;-)


	30. Three Ways

Neville walked resolutely across the darkened hallways of Hogwarts that would lead him to the room Severus had decided to use for today, which was situated a few doorways away from the Slytherin dormitory. He would be lying if he said he was not trembling on the inside, not only had he _only_ received instructions about the time and place for tonight, but he had _not_ been able to speak to Severus for two hole days; the older male had simply been gone from Hogwarts and the other professors had told him when he requested to see him.

 

He sighed as he reached the door, he _could_ still run, he knew that, but then the man he loved would get a good amount of torture from the snake bastard. He simply could _not_ do that to him. He knocked and waited. He had taken extra care to shower, shave and get ready for this, leaving no obvious reasons to displease the werewolf and he knew for a fact that he was good in bed himself, so _if_ anything should go wrong tonight it would be his own pain threshold failing him.

 

“Enter,” the familiar baritone voice of the headmaster rang, with a coldness, which was usually reserved for people he disliked, but Neville knew Severus enough by now to know that this was his way of distancing him from what would take place soon.

 

Neville opened the door and was met with Severus´ dark, inviting orbs, which shone with compassion and trust, and Neville couldn´t help but smile at his lover, deciding right then and there to act like they were alone. A werewolf was likely to prefer prey that fought them, Neville was not about to give Greyback _that_ pleasure. This was _only_ sex and Neville planned on playing it cool; what teenage male would turn down casual sex and a threesome on top of that? He didn´t know if Severus had planned on joining them, but he hoped he would, because that ought to calm his nerves down quite a bit.

 

He noticed a figure watching him from a left hand corner of the room but ignored him, knowing who it must be and walked the three steps it took him to stand before Severus. He saw the change in the older wizard´s eyes, like a warning signal, but didn´t give him enough time to speak the words his mouth had already prepared when it opened, instead he leaned in grabbing his neck and bringing their lips together. He put every emotion he had within him at that moment into the fierce kiss and Severus ended up melting in his arms against his better judgement.

 

When Neville pulled away, Severus nearly choked on the air in his lungs on its way out to inhale again, as his lover spoke, “How does my master want me tonight - on my knees, on my back or perhaps something else?” Severus´ fears for Neville´s behavior and what it might bring faded away and was immediately replaced with _longing_ to fuck him senseless.

 

Severus answered with soft words directly into his right ear and it made Neville shiver in anticipation. He had been smart enough to hide whatever fear he had had for tonight, and furthermore had given Severus the lead to dictate what happens next, leaving Greyback to follow suit. “Undress, then kneel before me.” Neville closed his eyes and groaned in anticipation. The younger male reached for his wand, cast a single spell and was butt naked in an instant. When he opened his eyes once more, it was to look up at Severus from the rug he was on his knees on. Neville didn´t need further instructions for now because he knew _that_ look and with confident hands he lifted them up to unzip and unbutton the dark pants in front of his face freeing the already saluting cock of its cage.

 

“No underwear?” He raised a brow at Severus, “you _must_ have missed me.” And then he flicked out his tongue and let it caress the engorged head he loved to play with so much. Severus hissed when the tongue played with the underside of his member while Neville sucked.

 

“Yes, just like that.” The words were barely heard and when a hand grasped his hair to keep him in place Neville moaned and vibrations traveled up Severus´ body. Neville grabbed his wand and flicked it to turn down the light to a minimum; Severus knew that his lover preferred to feel his way when they were intimate together; it apparently made the Gryffindor hornier. The younger male noticed Greyback shift in the darkness and he did wonder why he had said nothing or did nothing so far, he also knew he had to get the upper hand if he planned on making it through tonight´s event.

 

And hand started playing with the sac making sure a finger ran across the tiny entrance, Severus yelped but didn´t stop him. The finger massaged in gentle circles and the mouth released the cock to give full attention to the other parts of his lover´s groin. Neville drew in a portion of courage before speaking huskily, “tell your _friend_ to unzip so I can taste him too.” _Dear god, he has never been sexier than this fucking moment. How can he not show the fear I know exits in him? He must truly care for sex. No, you fool, it´s you that he cares for, you are the reason he is doing this. Show him you are worthy of him, even if you will not believe it._

“You know the rules Fenrir, no touching unless he asks you to, he is mine and I do not wish for you to ruin him or his desire to give me what I want.” The words were calm but firm, and they have clearly had time to discuss this before Neville got here, which he was glad, and he couldn´t help the warm feeling filling his insides. _´He is mine.´ I am yours Severus, and I will be for as long as you want me._ He pushed the digit inside his lover´s hole knowing that he would get a scolding for doing this in front of someone else, but he didn´t care. He loved the noises Severus would make when he pleasured him and even though Severus said he hated to bottom, Neville knew it was only his stubborn dominant side talking and that he in reality loved having Neville inside. They had only fucked that way once, but Neville hoped to chance that score in time.

 

Neville focused again on his task as another huge cock was presented to his kneeling form. He had to admit Greyback´s body was tempting in his human form, all muscles and firmness, he reeked with power and strength, but he would always be more attracted to Severus, because the toughness he possessed was coming from his personality; and knowing he could be a softy underneath that surface was so alluring to Neville, especially since he was the one to bring out that softness.

 

Neville groaned and shifted his legs so he could taste Greyback. He let out his tongue and brushed it against the slit of his cock tentatively and was flooded with a new musky flavor, not bad but definitely not better than Severus. The werewolf growled when Neville sucked and added pressure around the base of his member while making sure his finger was still teasing his lover. “My god Severus, you were not lying when you said the boy could give excellent head.” He leaned his head back, “I won´t break boy, suck harder.” And when Neville did Greyback growled with need again.

 

“Spells,” Neville said and Severus cast the lubrication spell and another one to tease and stretch Neville. “Oh god, Sev.” He squeezed down hard on Greyback´s stick in surprise when feeling the spell gracing his prostate. “W-what… is… that spell?” Severus grinned.

 

“That what happened when god boys do what they´re told.” Neville fell on all four panting.

 

“SEV! I-I… gonna… oh god…”

 

”Oh no, you don´t…” Another flick and the spell softened. “On the bed, so we can watch you better…” Neville didn´t trust his legs to carry him so he crawled there and slowly lay sprayed across the bed.

 

“He´s lovely on all four.” Greyback commented.

 

“He is even better when begging for cock, you´ll see.” Severus said and turned up the effect on the spell again.

 

“Oh… god… so good… nuugh… oh god, oh god… gonna blow soon Sev… please…” The werewolf stopped jerking off and met Severus´ eyes for permission and when he nodded he joined him on the bed. Severus drew in a sharp breath; he knew this was supposed to happen but that didn´t mean he liked it still. Greyback surprised him by moving under Neville, instead of fucking him he placed himself so Neville´s cock was over his face. When Neville noticed this action he moaned, which was more due to the spell that Greyback, but the wolf didn´t need to know that. “Yes, please…” He begged and met the yellow eyes for the first time and his cock disappeared into hotness and seconds after erupted.

 

Bliss, bliss, bliss. Neville had never had an orgasm like that before, and he knew that Severus had used that spell to make tonight enjoyable for him, and this made him love him even more. It did surprise him that the werewolf chose to suck him off, that he wanted to swallow his semen, but it surprised him even more when he ordered him to ride him instead of taking him like Severus had prepared him he would prefer to. The second Severus sensed Neville´s fears he started the spell again that would lick across Neville´s prostate. “Fuck!”

 

“Sit on my cock boy, and then you´ll get your fucking.” Greyback still hadn´t made a move to touch him, but when he did to lift Neville onto his member Severus raised his wand.

 

“No Sev, it´s okay… so good… please let him…” And then Greyback released him so that his cock slammed up into the tight heat. They both growled for different reasons. “God… so big…” And then the thrusting upwards started and the pain was replaced with pleasure. _It´s the spell Severus, not him, you knew when you cast it that this would happen. He would lose control over his body and succumb to pleasure. He is doing it for you, remember that._ But that didn´t make it easier watching the man you cared about, admit it you _do_ care, getting fucked raw by Fenrir Greyback.

 

“So beautiful, you´re a lucky bastard Severus! Just look at him having his third orgasm already and still begging for cock!” He rasped. All Severus could do was nod, until his lover was begging for his cock too, to suck on. Naturally he could not refuse such an act so he moved forward and hissed when Neville´s greedy mouth sucked more persistently than ever. It took all but two minutes for Severus to erupt and Greyback too, but Neville was not done pleasing the wolf until on hour later. Apparently werewolves had amazing stamina, and when Neville lay back onto the bed and was joined by Severus later after Greyback had left them he was exhausted.

 

“I´m sorry…”

 

Neville silenced him with a sloppy kiss. “I love you; thank you for making this better than it should have been… that spell… god… I never thought one could come close to dyeing from having too many orgasms.” Severus´s reply was to pull the other closer and kiss his temple and they lay there in silence for a while before the older male spoke.

 

“The Dark Lord has ordered Greyback on a mission up North I Europe for a while, he shouldn´t be back until Christmas, which leaves us about six weeks before…”

 

“Hey… look at me…” Severus looked up at the other who had hauled himself up on his elbow. “It wasn´t too bad… you can give me potions for the pain, but it went better than I had feared, because of your spell… thank you for taking care of me…”

 

“Had it not been for me you would not be in this mess in the first place.” He drawled.

 

“The war will end within the year; you told me that Voldemort would strike soon, yes?” He nodded. “Then we´ll have the rest of our lives to-“ Severus kissed him. _I can´t let him know I don´t expect to live through the war._

 


	31. The Fair Blonde

Three weeks. Three dreadful, lonely weeks had gone by without any sign of their Headmaster´s presence at Hogwarts. Ginny, Dean, Luna and Seamus had tried in vain to cheer up Neville, but he seemed to sink, much unlike him, further into depression. Of course not a _real_ depression where darkness swallows you up, but the kind where you´re missing your loved one, fearing for his life and expecting to hear the worst about his whereabouts at any given moments.

 

“Stupid Charms essay, fucking stupid memory charms. Who the fuck cares anyway, we´re all going to die soon anyway.” Neville mumbled to himself as he pushed the piece of parchment aside and scowled out the window of the empty classroom he had chosen to seek solitude in with his homework for the following day. Snow was falling slowly outside and he shivered at the knowledge of the low temperatures outside and pulled his robes closer to his body for warmth. It was early for snow, but the Prophet had said something about the weather changing because of the amount of Dark curses being cast these past couple of years, it _had_ to be that.

 

“Suicidal now Longbottom, are we?” Neville turned around so rapidly his neck made a huge cracking sound and he groaned and flinched from the immediate pain, _not_ because Malfoy was standing there with his arms folded neatly over his chest, glancing down expectantly at him. “Curfew is coming up in half an hour Longbottom; you should get back to your tower.” He said, when Neville didn´t respond other than with grumbling noises.

 

“Do I have a Death eater loves me magnet stuck up my ass Malfoy? Seems that every last one of you, cares enough for me to take care of me.”

 

Malfoy snorted, “I for one, will not take _care_ for you _that_ way, I promise you that. No matter how happy my godfather seems to be after he started buggering you.” He huffed after he had entered the room and closed the door after him.

 

Neville smiled. “Who says he´s the one doing the buggering?”

 

Malfoy´s mouth fell open in shock and then seemed to remember being a Malfoy altogether and quickly shut it again before answering. “I don´t believe you, he would never…” He blinked, “you´re lying.”

 

“Well, feel free to ask him if you don´t believe me then Malfoy. However,” He began packing his school bag as he spoke on, “ _do_ start the conversation in front of me, I would love to hear it.” He laughed.

 

Malfoy followed Neville out the door and down the corridor without thinking about it, they almost ran into Peeved but managed to duck and hide while he swept by. Running into him around curfew was never promising, but then Malfoy seemed to remember being head boy and stopped hiding. “I will _not_ , you will simply have to stop telling smut about him. He´s not the weaker male in any relationship, I refuse to believe that. I know!”

 

Neville sized him up, running his eyes over Malfoy´s slim but handsome body, “you _would_ know that, wouldn´t you?” He grinned and continued walking. The blonde ran to keep up with him.

 

“What the hell is that supposed to mean Longbottom?” He demanded knowing and put out his arm to stop the taller male from moving further. Neville offered another knowing smile.

 

“You look like you know,” he leaned closer, “from _experience_ that is.” Malfoy froze.

 

“I… We have never had anything sexual between us, that´s jus-“

 

“You misunderstand me, my fair blonde; you seem like the type to know what it´s like to be the weaker male.” Malfoy spluttered, “you bottom, don´t you?”

 

“I am not gay! And how dare you think that I would be the one to –“ He was outraged, clearly, having drawn his wand and was now pointing it at Neville, who didn´t make a move, not out of fear, but because he was too busy studying the blonde´s reactions. “ _What_ did you just call me?” His brain finally caught up with him.

 

Neville leaned in so Malfoy had no option but to take a step back and found the wall there, his hand shook slightly, but Neville had already forgotten about the wand. “I called you my fair blonde, it´s not exactly a mystery you´re the handsomest male in school with every other female and every gay drooling over you. You _do_ know what a compliment is, don´t you?” He smiled flirtingly. _Where in Merlin´s name is the real Longbottom? This confidence is not his own!_

 

Malfoy blinked stupidly. “Well, I-I… That´s not… You would…”

 

“Hmm, Slytherin Prince all out of words now?” Malfoy´s cheeks turned pink.

 

“What are you playing at Longbottom – I would have you know –“

 

“Merely stating the obvious Malfoy, I´m not going blind because I´m in love with someone else. In fact, if you ever _need_ something, feel free to come find us.” Malfoy´s face flamed in embarrassment. _Stop it, it´s bloody Longbottom. So what if he grew into his teeth and body, so what if he´s not unattractive anymore, it´s not like I noticed anyway._

“I go away for a few weeks and find myself out in the cold already?” The drawl surprised them both and when they turned to meet their headmaster´s gaze their faces were very closer together, one _could_ really mistake this innocent position.

 

“Severus – I swear I didn´t… It was all Longbottom, he went all animal on me, with his abysmal attempts to flirt and snog me –“

 

“ _Snog_ you, please Malfoy, it could have been so easy if that was what I wanted, with you being the weaker male –“

 

“I AM NOT WEAK!” He yelled, and neither student noticed the amused look across Severus´ face from watching their interaction.

 

“Of course you are, but that´s okay, someone has to be.” Neville said almost cooingly.

 

“You take that back! Right this fucking minute or I swear to Merlin…”

 

“Stop denying it.”

 

“SHUT UP!”

 

“PROVE IT THEN!” He provoked.

 

“FINE!” Severus gasped in shock as he watched Neville colliding with the stone walls of the corridor, and Draco holding him in an iron grasp, pushing him roughly while he -. Severus blinked to make sure that he was really seeing Draco, his _not_ gay godson, kissing _his_ lover. “Oh _god_ , what the –“ Malfoy pulled away, looking green and pale at the same time if that was even possible. Neville licked his lips in confusion; this was not what he had meant when he said Malfoy should prove his theory.

 

“Draco –“ Severus looking down at the blonde in concern as he backed away from them.

 

“Don´t. I didn´t – this never happened!” He ran. Neville had never actually seen the Malfoy heir run before and once he was out of sight he looked at Severus. _I must have a magnet up my ass._

 

“So – does this come with an explanation?” He quirked a brow when Neville burst out laughing, before following the older man into a class room to tell him about the incident.

 


	32. Draco´s Torment

”So you´re not angry?” Neville fidgeted with a loose thread on his school uniform while watching Severus move around his desk finding parchments and essays he obviously planned to correct soon, when they had finished talking loosely and Severus had invited Neville back to the headmaster´s quarters.

 

Severus finally sat down and even though he was gazing at the fifth year essay, Neville noticed the raised brow. _Was he annoyed? Or maybe tired? He looks like hell anyway, he´s clearly been out on a mission._

 

Neville and Severus had agreed that the less Neville knew about his _activities_ the better and safer Neville would be in case he was captured later on, or had Veritaserum used against him by the Carrows, they had a tendency to do that once in a while on students. So far it had led to nothing because the students who had been sent back to Hogwarts were either not hiding anything or were oblivious to Harry Potter´s plans altogether, which was good, because that meant fewer casualties, at least for the time being.

 

“You told me nothing happened, I trust you wouldn´t lie?” He looked up and Neville´s breath got caught somewhere in his lungs. _God, last year at this time that look would have made me angry or scared, but now – he could order me to walk around naked on all four and I would probably oblige him._

“No,” he rasped out and coughed, trying to exhale at the same time. “Well, I kind of _did_ flirt with him, just to get on his nerves. I don´t think I´ve ever met a homophobe like him before.”

 

“He´s not.” Severus went back to the essay. “He doesn´t mind homosexuals, he´s simply a teenager who happens to be so spoiled that his arrogance can´t stop emerging through his every word and action, it´s his parents´ fault, not his.” He scratched out an entire paragraph and wrote something in the margin of the essay. “He´s matured and will keep it up under my surveillance, maybe yours as well.” _What? Did he just imply that I would be a regular part of his life in the future?_ Neville felt like his heart would burst soon from the emotions he was experiencing from those words.

 

“He could use a friend.” Severus´ voice cut through Neville´s thought. _Huh?_

 

“What? You want me to befriend Malfoy?” He laughed and got Severus´ attention again, “I don´t think he wants that.”

 

Dark orbs ran over Neville´s features softly and Neville smiled, “that´s not what it looked like to me, having known the brat his entire life.” He smirked, “you even invited him into _our_ bed, did you not?”

 

Neville spluttered. “Well I-I… I didn´t think he would ever… I was only joking… _right_?”

 

Severus smirked again. “Are you asking me if I want him to join us or are you telling me?” Neville´s cheeks turned pink.

 

“I-I… well we…” Severus laughed. “He´s not gay, he told me.”

 

“He kissed you.”

 

“He was just angry.”

 

“I don´t kiss others when I´m angry, do you?”

 

“Well no, but this is Malfoy. He´s a Slytherin, they are –“ He froze.

 

“ _We_ are what Longbottom?” He quirked a brow and hid his amusement.

 

“Gorgeous…” Neville winked, once his brain caught up with him.

 

“Good save, but that does not answer –“

 

“I don´t mind.” Severus´ eyes flew to Neville´s when the words had left his confused lips. “That´s not what I… _oh god_ …” The dark haired male chuckled.

 

“Mm, well that ought to be _interesting_.” _Oh god, he wants to -?_ Neville´s heartbeat increased.

 

A sudden knock at the door rang and both males startled. “Enter.” Severus said and sat upright. The door slowly opened and Neville went white. _That´s just great._ He thought when Severus smirked.

 

“Come in and close the door Draco.” He hesitated a moment but did as he was told. He had wanted to come and apologize to Severus; he had not expected _him_ to be here also. Draco took the seat beside Neville making sure to not look at the other.

 

Severus looked between the two students and chuckled. _The two handsomest males in school in my office right after having snogged each other, this ought to be fun._ “Here to take me up on my offer?” The Gryffindor’s courage took over the room as both Slytherins stared at Neville.

 

“In your dreams Longbottom!” Malfoy drawled and crossed his arms over his chest.

 

“I need to get these done; perhaps you could take this _discussion_ elsewhere?” Severus said, while meeting Neville´s eyes and made a head gesture towards his private quarters. Neville saw the emotions written there and gulped. _Did he mean? Was he giving him permission to – with Malfoy? And why was he even thinking about this, he loved Severus? Of course he was a teenage male, and if Severus didn´t mind –“ He blinked._

“You heard the man Malfoy.” He stood and walked to the door leading into to Severus´ living room, he stopped and leaned against the doorframe once the door was ajar facing the blonde. “Coming or not?” He smiled and Malfoy looked alarmed, trying to get Severus to meet his eyes but failing.

 

“You may,” their headmaster answered the question he had not spoken out loud. _I´m not going in there with bloody Longbottom, who knows what he´ll do to me? And I´m not fucking weak either, just because I don´t fuck other men, it´s not like I fuck them either!_

 

“I promise I won´t bite you Blondie…” Malfoy blushed hearing those words. _Did he just? Nah, he was not offering me a blow – was he? Not that I would ever take him, of all people, up on that offer anyway._ Neville sniggered as he watched the struggle Malfoy was obviously having with his mind in amusement, and when he caught grey eyes he let his tongue lick the inside of his right cheek so that his cheek bulged outwards and gave Malfoy the indication of a dick being pushed against it. Neville winked and went inside Severus´ living room waiting for the blonde´s next move. He was of course expecting Malfoy to run away, and Severus was too, Draco could see that they were tormenting him. _Mocking_ him, for his mistake, even though they would keep their secret it would always lay between them. _Bastards._ Draco rose from his chair looking towards the door to the room Longbottom was in and then to the door leading him out of this hell, and an intake of air later he knew which way his feet was leading him.

 


	33. Draco´s Choice

Draco growled at Severus and left the office banging the door violently after him causing Severus to look up from the essays he had promised Horace to tend to due to him falling ill. Neville appeared in the doorway seconds after hearing the commotion. “Did Malfoy leave?”

“Go after him, he shouldn´t leave like that.” Severus said to his lover, and Neville didn´t miss the twinkle in his eyes. Was he amused? “Make sure to settle this properly.”

“What do you mean by that?” His brows furrowed slightly.

“Draco is a handsome yet very insecure wizard; living with the Dark Lord can do that to even the best of us. Make him forget – he has obviously taken a liking to you of all people.”

“You want me to -? But I…” Neville bit his lip nervously. “You don´t want me anymore?” His voice was so small that it made Severus´ heart ache.

“Come here,” when Neville obliged Severus guided him into his lap, “I saw the way the two of you looked at each other.”

“I swear I didn´t -” two fingers pinched his lips shut.

“You´re young and tempting, and I know Draco very well, right now he will be confused, scared and all alone. He needs someone his own age to guide him through this war. His friends are blinded by the power the Dark Lord is offering, his parents are scared to lose their only child, he cannot burden them any further, knowing my god son, he would not anyway.” Neville took a deep breath. “I cannot remember anymore what it meant to be young and confused in details Neville - and between the Dark Lord and running this place, well…” He made a hand gesture into the air.

“You need my help.” Neville finished and swallowed. “How – how much do you want me to guide him Sev, I mean I-I… Greyback will –“

“Not be returning.” Severus met Neville´s blue sparkling orbs.

“Voldemort changed his mind?” Severus shook his head. “Then I don´t –“ Neville swallowed. “What did you do Sev? Did you do something stupid, is that why you went away after -“ Again he was silenced by to fingers.

“The less you know the better.” Neville swatted away the hand and fingers.

“Is he dead?” Moments passed as they sat there with their eyes locked together before reality came crashing down on Neville when the other man nodded his answer. He killed him - for me? How is that even possible, so many have tried and –

“You will tell no one about this, he was simply too stupid to wander into a camp where mountain trolls were sleeping and not fast enough to get out. That happens from time to time, tragic.” Neville kissed him, roughly, causing a moan to transfer into his own mouth.

“I love you so fucking much you crazy fuck.” He breathed leaning his forehead against the older man´s, who simply smiled.

“So, Draco?” 

Neville sighed. “How far do you want me to – what if he –“ Severus cupped Neville´s face in both his hands before responding.

“You can do whatever you want with Draco, I trust him, and you – and I´m an old man who cannot possibly –“

“Don´t talk like that Sev, you´re everything I want.” He was rewarded with a small smile.

“Your sex drive is higher than mine, add to that my job here and with the Dark Lord, there simply is not enough of me to manage it all.” Severus searched his lover´s face. “I am not throwing you away, I promise, I am simply making sure to have someone who will comfort you when I cannot always be there.”

Neville nodded and smiled slowly. “After the war everything will be better, yes? Just us?” God, why did he have to ask me that? Draco can be there should I not – no, I will not think about it, not now, when I still could feel this young male who seemed to really love me.

“I am yours.” He said truthfully, he could not tell Neville the other truth or even lie to him. “Now go, do what you can, but do not do anything you do not want to do. Stay true to yourself; I will not have a moping Gryffindor near me.” Neville laughed. Severus kissed him warmly, “you have my permission to go as far with Draco as your body desires.”

“Sev-“

“None of that now, Draco is most desirable and he clearly shares my fine taste in men.” Neville snorted but stood and kissed Severus one last time before going after the blonde. “Try checking the girl´s bathroom – where Myrtle is – he goes there to be alone.”

*

Neville slowly rounded the last corner of the first floor corridors, before stopping in front of the girl´s lavatory, he took a deep breath before entering, not really sure if he wished for Malfoy to be there or not. Sure enough, the blonde was splashing his pale face with water when Neville approached him, and as he looked into the mirror and found Neville standing behind him he spun around so quickly Neville almost felt dizzy. “What the fuck?! Why are you following me and sneaking up on me like that Longbottom?” He snapped at the taller male.

“Severus asked me to find you.” His palms felt sweaty all of a sudden as the Slytherin male studied his face in wonder or maybe it was disbelief. Gryffindor, remember, man up Neville. He stepped closer trapping Malfoy against the sink. The blonde´s eyes narrowed and Neville noticed the rapid movement of his gorgeous chest. Really? I think Malfoy is gorgeous? But he already knew he did, so he didn´t stop his movement there. A hand reached out for Malfoy´s – Draco´s cheek, and when it collided with cold skin, maybe caused by the water, Draco hissed. 

“What are you doing Longbottom?!” The hand stalled for a moment when blue met grey but resumed when Neville spoke.

“Exploring.” Neville could feel Draco tensing beneath his touch.

“I am not some damned animal free for petting!”

“No, you´re not.” And then Neville kissed him. Draco gasped and Neville could feel him hesitating but when Neville´s tongue very slowly licked Draco´s lips Neville was yanked forward roughly, crashing their mouths together. Neville´s hand grabbed Draco´s hair and pulled slightly, Draco moaned and then pulled away and took a step to the side causing Neville to lose his grasp on the man.

“Not here.” Draco spun around and walked away, Neville blinked. Does he want me to follow? My god the man can kiss. Neville ran to keep up, and saw the blonde head disappear behind a statue, taking a deep breath while walking over there Neville stepped behind the same stones and was startled when Draco smashed him against the wall. “Severus –“

“He said I could –“ Which was all Draco apparently needed to hear, because seconds after Neville´s mouth was once more filled with a most talented tongue, causing his head to spin and a groan to escape.


	34. Feeling Gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait!  
> Having 2 kids under 4 and being 28 weeks pregnant takes its toll :D

Neville broke the kiss to taste along Draco´s jawline, “We really… shouldn´t… Longbottom,” the blonde male panted.

 

 

“Neville.” He sucked on a spot behind Draco´s ear, and Draco bit his bottom lip to stop the moan threatening to come forth.

 

 

“Merlin, that´s…” Neville grinned and licked the pale neck, hand reached down towards Draco´s groin. Draco stopped the hand with a firm grasp. “Stop pretending you don´t want this…”

 

 

“Confident bastard.” Draco cursed when Neville bit his neck and then blew on it, this time a moan did escape and Neville grinded his hip against Draco´s cock. “Sweet Cirke…”

 

 

“I want to taste what the Slytherin Prince has to offer...” Neville´s husky voice whispered.

 

 

“Mm,” Draco´s head was spinning from the words to his throbbing cock, nothing had ever felt this way before. “So fucking gay…”

 

 

“I am.” He stated, as if Draco had asked a question.

 

 

The Slytherin shook his head slightly. “Me… so gay…” Neville withdrew his hand from Draco´s grip and soon the pants in front of him fell to the floor, Draco cursed from the coldness but positively swore when Neville´s huge hand touched his swollen prick. “God… yes… more…” Neville dropped to his knees and Draco had to lean against the wall to keep his legs from caving under him.

 

 

Blue boxers were pulled down and Neville looked up grinning, “Even your dick is pretty,” Draco pushed Neville´s head away so it was no longer hovering just before his flesh.

 

 

“Fuck you.”

 

 

“I meant, you´re fucking hot, you moron. Now let me fucking suck you off, you twit.”

 

 

“I don´t know who taught you the art of seduction, but speaking to me like that will not geeeeeet… fucking hell Neville…” Neville couldn´t help himself any longer. Draco´s cock was so inviting, en inch above average but thicker and it tasted divine. A hand flew into dark hair keeping the head there as Neville sucked, licked and teased the Prince into a babbling mess. “God that´s… uuhh…”

 

 

“Mm,” Neville hummed with his mouth full and Draco hissed banging his head against the stone.

 

 

“Ooh sweet Merlin yes… like that… ahh…” Draco had no idea how the devil Neville was making him turn so loud, he had never said anything under a blow before. _A guy has never blown me, might be that reason._ Draco´s thighs began to shake.

 

 

“Gonna come for me?”

 

 

“Y-yees… don´t stop that… god… suck harder…ooh god yes…” The hand tightened around Neville´s hair and Draco let out a loud noise between a growl and a moan as the semen hit Neville´s tongue and continued its way down his willing throat. Neville was about to pull away to not annoy the over sensitive cock, but Draco held his head in place, and Neville sucked gently earning another moan and a last squirt which he lapped up before Draco released him from his firm grasp.

 

 

Neville stood up, eyes beaming proudly into grey sedated orbs. He ran a finger down Draco´s jaw as he spoke. “Come find me, if you need me.” He winked and turned on his heels to leave and head back to Gryffindor Tower to do his homework. _I just gave Draco more pleasure, than he has ever experienced in his life, judging from the look he sent me, who´s the man now huh? Tsk, and Severus said I lacked confidence back in June._

 

 

Neville hummed to himself as he walked with his head held high, facing the future boldly and tasting Draco Malfoy´s remaining drops on his tongue. _He is so coming back for more._

*

 

Two hour later Neville was finishing up his Charms essay, feeling annoyed at the piece, but not bothering to re-write it. There was a tap to the window and a fourth year girl named Lucille opened it so the owl could swoop in and land on the table next to Neville and Dean. “Nice bird.” The dark-skinned friend observed as Neville reached for the parchment and unfolded it.

 

_You left the score uneven._

Neville laughed, as Dean tried to read what it said. “Sorry mate, not for your eyes.” Dean scowled and went back to his essay.

_A kneeling Malfoy, just for me? You shouldn´t have,_ he said to God and gathered his things to return to his dorm to have a wank. _I should so thank Severus for this when I see him next._

 


	35. Returning The Favor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry its been too long!  
> I´ll give you a few chapters !

“She tortured a student to beyond repair Amycus,” Severus did his best to keep his tone of voice flat and bored, as he addressed the Dark Arts´ professor and Deputy Headmaster. “The Dark Lord specifically ordered no magical blood be spilled by our hands, on _any_ student.”

 

“He was asking for it, and besides Severus, he was only a mudblood, who cares.” The wizard said and shrugged, as if they were simply discussing a bland soup recipe.

 

“I care! This is my school, and we will follow the orders placed upon us by our Master. Or perhaps you would like to explain to him yourself how your sister was unable to argue against a student and had to practically murder him to prove her point?” Severus´ voice rose, and so did he, from behind his desk. He flicked his wand to turn up the heat on this cold December day. The Christmas holidays were coming within the week.

 

Amycus shrugged again. “I never understood why The Dark Lord thought we should continue teaching Muggle Studies at all –“

 

“It is not up to us to question what the Dark Lord thinks, we will follow his rules and demands, or need I remind you, what happened to the last of us who did not do so?” Severus watched the other shudder; he too had been present, when Alex Pondroit had been turned inside out.

 

“Yeah, yeah Severus. I´ll tell Alecto to report back to you herself.” He turned to leave the Headmaster´s office.

 

“No. you will tell her to report to the Dark Lord.” The other turned abruptly.

 

“But you know he´ll –“

 

“I will not take the blame for your sister´s anger or for her lack of loyalty. She made her bed, now she´ll lie in it. Get out, I have work to do.” Amycus kept his eyes on Severus´ wand in hand, held his tongue and exited the door.

 

Severus sat back in his chair and sighed while locking the door and casting the usual silencing charms. “It wasn´t your fault,” Severus closed his eyes briefly before looking at Neville, who had come out of hiding in the older man´s bedroom when the Carrow male had knocked.

 

“It was my respons-“

 

“Don´t you dare take this on your shoulders also. You cannot control madmen Sev – you´re doing the best you possibly can with what you have been offered.” Neville´s eyes beamed down at him.

 

“How can you look at me like that, when I –“

 

“Because I know the real man behind this mask, and I like that man.” Neville sat on the desk pulling Severus closer. “He is funny.” Kiss. “Brave.” Kiss. “Skilled.” Kiss. “Intelligent.” Kiss. “And very sexy.” Long kiss. “Sometimes when he forgets who he is, he´s also sweet.” Neville caught the hand that almost hit his arm then and laughed.

 

“I don´t have time for another round you divine piece of meat. Get out, so I can think, god knows –” Neville ran his tongue up Severus´ neck. “I mean it – out!”

 

“Alright, spoilsport.” Neville laughed, “Will I get to see you again before the holidays?” His eyes beaming down at Severus.

 

“I don´t know right now, I´ll let you know when I do.” Neville closed his eyes when a hand caressed the side of his face, Severus couldn´t help but smile. _He makes is all bearable and worthwhile._

Neville grabbed Severus´ hand and kissed it before hopping off the desk and turning to leave. “I´ll miss you.” He said before closing the door after him.

 

“I´ll miss you too.” Severus replied to the empty room, suddenly much colder.

 

*

 

“So, how did it go?” Ginny asked Neville when they met up later that day at the library, where Seamus, Dean and Luna also sat. Neville smiled.

 

“That good, huh?” Dean chuckled. “I really cannot understand how this all came about, I mean, it´s –“

 

“Snape,” Neville, Luna, Seamus and Luna finished in unison.

 

“I know, so you keep telling me.” Neville grinned. “He´s awesome, not to mention the sex is -“

 

“LA LA LA LA, I can´t hear yooou.” Ginny covered her ears, and turned red. The others laughed, thankfully, they had cast privacy charms, and otherwise Madam Pince would have scolded them.

 

“Voldemort is going to do something after Christmas, Sev said he was talking about after spring break or something like that, he´s getting impatient with Harry. He wants him dead still.” Neville said suddenly, changing the atmosphere abruptly.

 

“We´ll just have to be ready for the bastard then, don´t we?” Ginny stated bravely, the other nodded in agreement.

 

*

 

Neville was about to head down to the main entrance to catch the carriages to go home on Christmas break, when he was pulled into an alcove and pushed against the wall. Lips melted together with his. He was confused at first, since he had already met up with Severus last night to wish him a nice holiday. “Open your fucking pants Neville.” Draco grunted as he broke the kiss and pushed his hips against Neville´s groin.

 

Neville´s eyes widened. “We don´t have time –“

 

“You will make time. It´s my turn now.” And then Draco kneeled before Neville, yanked the pants down Neville didn´t realize had been opened and seconds after his cock was engulfed in a mixture of heat and wetness.

 

“Fucking hell Draco… w-what…” And Draco sucked harder as his head was moving up and down. When Neville´s cock had hardened he didn´t know either, but it was rock hard and on the way to explode. “Where the fuck did you learn to… ooh god…” A hand squeezed his sac gently while a finger tentatively moved below it and Neville cursed as his head banged against the hard stone walls.

 

Draco hummed, vibrations made Neville´s body shake. “Don´t stop…” Neville begged, pleasure was all around him, especially when Draco´s teeth gently scraped his engorged head, and then Neville cock exploded in a sea of salty wetness. Draco swallowed most before standing up and when their eyes met, the blonde actually smirked.

 

“You have a nice holiday, Neville.” And then he wiped his face with his sleeve after having licked off the spilled drops from his mouth and left. Neville stood there, shocked to his core. _What the hell was that about? And when had Draco learned to blow, because Neville hadn´t agreed to meet up with him after their last and only encounter, well, it wasn´t their only one now._ And then Neville grinned as he walked to meet with his friends, Draco stood by the entrance looking bored, like nothing had just happened, he didn´t even look towards were Neville was standing.

 

“There you are Nev.” Dean stated.

 

“Where were you?” Luna asked.

 

Neville glanced at Draco who stood near them, “having one of the best blows I´ve ever had.” And this time he knew Draco had heard him, even though he hadn´t looked, because his cheeks now had a pretty pink. Neville laughed.

 


	36. Coming Back

_Three weeks later_

”I don´t think I´ve ever had such a boring holiday in my life,” Neville exclaimed to his group of friends at the very back of the library this Thursday evening. “Seriously, Grams wouldn´t let me out of the house because of all the Death eater activities lately.”

 

 

“She loves you,” Luna stated, staring at the ceiling with a dreamy gaze. “My dad did the same to me.”

 

 

“You´re all she´s got left Nev,” Dean supported Luna´s statement, and Neville sighed. He knew he was being childish, but he had missed Severus so bloody much, not to mention his friends, whom he was not even allowed to write to. He was surprised the old witch would let him return to Hogwarts at all. He still had not seen Severus alone.

 

 

“Well, I for one had a brilliant one, shagged the neighbor´s best friend twice!” Seamus chimed in and his friends laughed.

 

 

“Wizard or Witch?” Dean asked casually.

 

 

“Neither.” Seamus enjoyed the shocked faces of the others, “Veela, of course it´s a female Veela at tha´ but Veela all the same.” Dean dropped his quill and Ginny cursed.

 

 

“You lucky fuck, did you drug her?” Dean and Luna burst out laughing, and Seamus tossed a book after the redhead who caught it.

 

 

“I used me charm, my lady.” Seamus made a hand gesture.

 

 

“You mean you dropped your pants?” Neville stated, “Even a Veela would know a well-endowed male when seeing one.” He grinned as Seamus beamed.

 

 

“Argh Nev, ´ya tryin´ to get me to blow ´ya in return of compliments?” The Irish winked.

 

 

“Why would he do that, he´s got two Slytherins on his knees.” Ginny said and snickered when Neville turned scarlet.

 

 

“Speaking of Slytherins on their knees.” Dean cocked his head to his left and the others turned to notice a pack of green and silver robed males enter the library. He leaned closer to the table to whisper. “I still don´t buy your crap about Malfoy being not selfish and blowing you, I´m calling your bluff.” He wagged his eyebrows up and down and Seamus snorted alongside with Ginny.

 

 

Neville snorted but suddenly got up, “Nev! I was joking, you can´t walk into a snake pit alone in these times – three of them are know Death eaters, the other three I don´t know about.” Neville shrugged and left his friends behind, who were still trying to get him to return to their table.

 

 

When Neville came to a halt in front of the table were Draco sat in the middle of his friends, or should we call it guards since two immediately stood and went towards Neville, when the tall Gryffindor casually placed his foot on an empty chair. Neville´s friends all took out their wands but remained seated. Draco put up a hand to stop Crabbe and Nott from doing anything stupid, well, it wouldn´t have been stupid to them. “Yes, Longbottom?” Draco sneered. “What do you want?” His best Malfoy mask in place, which would have scared off anyone else.

 

 

“Well, I was thinking, now that Parkinson got engaged to Nott here that you might need a little help from another Pureblood, since there aren´t many of us left at school, it would seem?” He smiled broadly as he noticed how confused Draco´s gang look by this sort of question.

 

 

“Pureblood or not, Longbottom, Draco would not want your friendship, so scram.” Nott stated before anyone else could speak up. Neville saw the tiny pink spots of embarrassment on Draco´s check, nobody else seemed to notice, however.

 

 

“Ooh, don´t be daft Nott,” Neville stared into Draco´s eyes now making sure to get every reaction from him, “I owe you a blow, would you like it now, or later?” Crabbe dropped his wand and bent down to pick it up again, Parkinson gasped and Greengrass gasped, Goyle´s mouth fell open and Nott cursed. They all turned to Draco, whom, Neville had to be impressed with, had not reacted at all to his words. Neville´s own friends had also reacted, mostly with loud cursing, however Seamus fell off his chair he had been balancing on two legs.

 

 

Neville smiled again when he noticed Draco´s eyes was now dilated. _He wants it. Time for the kill, Severus told me to do this anyway – to help Draco with his stress level, what helps more than release._ “If you prefer shagging me, that´ll work too.” This time Nott was the one almost loosing his grip on this wand, but he caught it before it hid the ground.

 

 

It had been a very, very long time since such a massive silence had been present between a group of Gryffindors and Slytherins as the one that came to be, when Draco finally answered. “We were about to study for Dark Arts –“

 

“You´re damn right.” Crabbe spat.

 

 

“So fuck off, you freak.” Pansy chimed in.

 

 

Draco rose to his feet, and started walking to the deserted area of the library that was know at the make-out room, and left a bunch of shocked and stunned students behind. “Draco?” Pansy began, but was interrupted by the blonde.

 

 

“ - I´m not accustomed to waiting, Longbottom.” Draco finished over his shoulders before turning a corner and was gone from sight. Neville laughed and followed, before tossing his wand to Dean.

 

 

Nott blinked. “What the fuck just happened?” He practically yelled, but Madam Pince was nowhere near to scold him for it. “It´s a joke, right?” He asked Dean and Seamus who had moved closer and was now staring at the corner the two went around.

 

 

Seamus laughed. “Dean challenged Nev to go to Malfoy, we didn´t think that he actually would.” Nott stared down in the wand in Dean´s hand.

 

 

“He left his wand behind, to go to a dark corner, alone, with a Slytherin. Is he fucking mental?”

 

 

“Horny it would appear,” Ginny said.

 

 

“Draco, you can come out now, we get it, it was a funny act. So, this – come out?” Pansy said tentatively and started walking towards the corner. “I´ll get the idiot.”

 

 

A moment after Pansy staggered back and leaned against the bookshelved behind Nott and Goyle. “What´s wrong Greengrass asked, when she saw her wideeyed friend´s rapid breathing.

 

 

“He… Draco… they… on his…knees…” She said incoherently.

 

 

“WHAT?!” Goyle screamed.

 

 

Nott massaged his temples before speaking. “So, Draco accepted Longbottom´s offer to a blow? Hmm.”

 

 

“Draco… was the one… kneeling…” Pansy´s legs caved underneath her and Seamus and Dean burst out laughing, causing the Slytherins to glare their way.

 

 

“This, I gotta see.” Seamus stated, but Goyle and Nott had blocked his way.

 

 

“Leave them – nobody speaks of this to anyone, you understand?” Nott ordered. “If His father finds out, we´re all dead. Them for doing it,” He pointed over his shoulders, “Us for not stopping it.” Seamus sat down still grinning.

 

 

“Nev´s one crazy fuck, huh?” Dean hid his head in his hands while Luna patted his back and Ginny scowled at Malfoy´s friends. It was at least an hour until Neville and Draco came back to join their friends. The Gryffindors wanted to hear all about it, but the Slytherins all pretended that Draco had simply been to the loo. Neville winked toward Draco, who looked away immediately.


	37. Draco´s Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Giving you 2 chapters, since I´ve been away so long!  
> Sorry, babybelly (9 weeks left), son of almost 4, and daugther of 2, not to mention 10-hour work takes time :D

”So, Draco is finally accepting his nature then?” Severus said softly while running his hand up and down Neville´s arm in long smooth movements, as they lay in the headmaster´s bed after a spectacular rendezvous at night that following day.

 

 

Neville had his eyes closed, enjoying the caress. It was a moment’s peace in a chaotic school year. He flinched, when Severus came in contact with the injury, the fucking Carrow sister had inflicted upon him earlier in the hallways. “You really should let me heal that for you.” Severus tried to reason with his young lover once more, hoping to be successful this time.

 

 

“No, if she sees I´ve healed it, she´ll take it out on Colin.” Severus knew the older students sometimes took the punishments on themselves, when the younger ones did some stupid or reckless; Neville, Dean and Seamus had done so quite frequently lately. _Calling your students by their given names now, are you Severus. Even if it is only in your head, you know what that means – they´re getting too close to you, that´s dangerous – to all of you._

Even though the dark wizard scolded himself inwardly, he could feel a warmth spread throughout his body, something he had not felt for so many years, since Lily - and even then, it had not been _this_ intense. Back then, he had only her as his friend, nobody else wanted to spend time with him, learning from him and listening to what he had to say. Neville´s friends had done just that; repeatedly, he had helped them prepare for their ´secret army´, the one he had given them a room to practice defense spells in. McGonagall was helping them train, together with Hagrid and Flitwick, since they could only trust other Order members. These professors didn´t give a damn about being fired, or worse, should anyone find out about helping the group of rebels fight against the Death eaters.

 

 

“Well, Draco is definitely gay, he said so himself – I don´t really know if he´s prepared to admit to anything more than that.” Neville finally answered Severus´ initial question.

 

 

“What do you mean by that?” The older male looked down at Neville who still lay in his arms.

 

 

Neville bit his lip in thought. “I think he´s got a thing for Harry. I mean, it makes sense, yeah?” Neville shifted so he could meet the other´s eyes. “He´s always trying to get Harry´s attention, his approval, even settling for his anger when he cannot get anything else.” Neville ran his fingers through the dark curls above his lover’s groin. “I think he fancies him. We´ve been spending time together, you know that, as friends I might even calls us now, and Draco, well, every time the conversation covers Harry he sort of gets the look, you know?”

 

 

“Do I seem the type to know that look?” Severus simply said - no point in admitting he was often struggling to keep his own looks hidden when Neville was near.

 

 

“Of course you bloody do, you´ve been the head of house for years.” Neville ran his finger over the deflated favorite toy of his and Severus groaned.

 

 

“True – but that doesn´t mean I´ve personally –“

 

 

“I know; you´ve only ever loved Harry´s mom.” Severus hated when he saw the crestfallen look on Neville´s face when they breached this particular subject, but Severus wouldn´t say that he loved Neville, even though he had admitted months ago to being in love with him. To Severus, It was not the same as to love someone deeply and profound, to want to be with that someone forever.

 

 

Severus had told himself not to go there – to fight with every bone in his body against ever loving this man in front of him, because he would not hurt Neville so, when the war finally escalates and ends badly. Severus knew he was going to die, either by Harry´s hand to revenge Albus or by the Dark Lord´s hand when he finally discovered Severus´ betrayal.

 

 

It was not fair to do that to Neville. He was too special, and he deserved a hole of a lot better and more than Severus, that is for sure. It would hurt Neville when he died, of course, but it would hurt him even worse should Severus love him back and tell him just that.

 

 

“Potter and Draco? Well, that should draw a few headliners. Does Potter swing that way? I know he dated Chang and Weasley for a while –“

 

 

Neville laughed. “For someone who claims to not like Harry, you sure keep a firm tap on him, huh?” He teased, and was rewarded with a pinch on his right buttock. He yelped and Severus smirked in triumph.

 

 

“It´s my job to keep taps on him –“

 

 

“Nuh uuh, it´s your job to keep him alive.” Neville grasped the lazy prick below the covers and Severus gasped.

 

 

“Same thing.” Severus managed through gritted teeth.

 

 

“You like that, do you, my Slytherin Snake.” And just by those words alone Severus´ prick grew larger, as the blood left his head to fill another much lower one. “Mm, correction, you _love_ it. Well, I think you´ll love this more, _Snake_.”

 

 

Severus moaned, as wetness surrounded his swollen member and his lover sucked hard. Severus took hold of Neville´s head, forced Neville to hold still, and then lifted his hips so his huge cock buried itself inside the mouth offered to him. Neville groaned, as the cock hit the back of his throat and he began breathing calmly out his nose, he had to anyway, because Severus was now fucking his mouth, and Neville knew it was a punishment for the Snake comment.

 

 

Severus watched as saliva ran from his lover´s mouth and help aid his cock slipping in and out of the enticing hole. “You.should.know.better.than.to.tease.me!” He emphasized each word with a thrust causing Neville to make gagging noises, which turned the older male more on, than the lovely moaning ones Neville made too. “Ooh fuck… suck me.” Severus stopped fucking Neville´s mouth, and allowed Neville to scrape his teeth gently across the engorged head as he sucked his cock, as if an actual snake _did_ bite Severus and Neville had to get the poison out.

 

 

Severus growled, when his cock erupted for the third time today, because of this fucking god-sent creature in bed with him. He let his head fall back onto his pillow as he enjoyed coming down from his high, while Neville licked him clean. “One of these days, you´ll kill me.”

 

 

Neville grinned, as he came up to kiss Severus gently, before pulling back to answer the other. “Is it really a terrible way to go, though?”

 

 

Severus gathered his strengths and tipped them over, causing Neville to yelp in surprise. “My turn, Lion cub.”

 


	38. Becoming Slytherin

The following three weeks were hell on Earth. The Carrows were meaner than ever, Voldemort demanded too much of Severus, who had to report back face-to-snakeface almost on a day-to-day basis. Neville wanted this to be over soon, everyone did. Even the Dark side wanted it, but for totally other reasons, naturally.

 

 

The Death eaters wanted blood; they wanted head to roll and to become even more powerful, not caring that Voldemort would forever be their Master. They were blinded by their beliefs, or power trips, all except the Malfoys.

 

 

Draco had been spending more time with Neville, some of it snogging but mostly they talked. It seemed like another Universe had sucked away the realities as they were and replaced that world with a fake one, because not only did Draco speak about his family to Neville, he had begun talking about himself also. That is what war can do to people; they can make someone unexpected some together. Maybe it was to make sure they got through in one mentally healthy piece, but Neville really liked, he liked Draco. He was funny, cunning, intelligent and extremely attractive, if he was Neville´s type and if he was not already spoken for.

 

 

“Who are you saving you´re cherry for?” Neville asked Draco casually, as the blonde was trying for the third time to teach Neville to play chess.

 

 

That earned him a raised eyebrow, as Draco captured Neville´s last Knight. Neville groaned at losing another piece but he was improving in his skills at least, Draco had even complimented him. “Why don´t we stop wasting each other´s time, Neville, and say what you really want?”

 

 

Neville grinned by the blunt assessment and moved his queen out of harm´s way. “You fancy Harry.” Draco stilled his hand´s movements and met the other´s soft eyes. Taking a deep breath Draco sat back in his chair without looking away from Neville. “I won´t tell him.” Neville noticed Draco relaxing more by that promise. “You should, though.” He added.

 

“Yes, because we both know how well that would go, don´t we.” Draco sneered, clearly annoyed with the situation. Neville didn´t think it was the fact that he knew Draco´s secret, but more the overall fact, that Harry would not feel the same way towards Draco.

 

 

“He´s single now.” Neville said, as he couldn´t tell Draco that the reason why he was no longer with Ginny, was that he was gay. It was Harry´s secret to spill.

 

 

Draco did his best to show Neville his passive mask, but failed miserably, and the taller wizard laughed. Draco tossed a pawn at Neville who ducked. “I´m not spilling my guts to Potter. He already dated 2 or 3 girls from school, but no boys, so…”

 

 

“You should tell Harry. Harry is his name, so you better practice it. _Harry, Harry, Harry_ …” Neville pushed teasingly, while looking away from Draco´s searching gaze.

 

 

“Spill, Longbottom.” Draco always addressed him by his last name when annoyed with him, or tryin to make himself seem more threatening, but that gesture failed when the person trying had choked on your cock more than one.

 

 

Neville sighed. “Just tell him Draco.”

 

 

“Harry´s bi?” Draco didn´t care to hide his hopefulness in his voice. He could speak this way, he trusted the Gryffindor. Oh, the irony. His parents would have his head on a silver plate if they knew. Well, maybe not, Neville _was_ a pureblood.

 

 

Neville bit his bottom lip so hard Draco thought he saw blood. “No.” he said, which wasn´t a lie. The moment Draco´s eyes widened in realization when seeing Neville´s facial expression, and then cursing, Neville changed the subject to not feel guilty. Well, technically, he had not outed Harry. Some friend he was. He couldn´t even keep a secret that important from another student. Someone who up until last year, would have tormented Harry for it, and probably even gone to the papers about it.

 

 

Draco nodded, as if to say to Neville, he would not tell another living soul. This was the benefit of them both being excellent legilimens.

 

 

*

 

 

“You want me to _what_?” Neville´s voice sounded both painful and shrill when asking Severus that.

 

 

Severus placed the goblet on his desk and the students stared at it, looking from Neville to their headmaster. Ginny and Luna shared a silent knowing look, while Seamus, Dean and Draco stood huddled together in a corner, close enough to have been never happening just months ago. “I want you, to pretend to be me, for two days while I aid Potter with something. I need to find out where exactly he is first, which will be tricky. Dumbledore left me something I had to hand over to Potter at the right time. I may or may not find him, but one night is all I´ll ever let you pretend to be me.”

 

 

Neville straightened; he _was_ a Gryffindor after all. “So, if you don´t find Harry this time…”

 

 

“I´ll ask this of you again.” Severus sighed, he hated having to get Neville to do this, but it was the only way to keep up his act in the Dark Lord´s eyes at the same time to keep his promise to Lily, and Dumbledore. He could not fail this close to the goal. As much as he hated to admit that a 16 year old man knew him better than anyone else, that was the truth of it all.

 

 

“What if Voldemort calls him, eh, you?” Dean asked quietly.

 

 

Severus turned to look at the dark-skinned student and nodded in accept of the blunt question. “We will both feel the Call, but I will be one to go to him, and Neville will go to my private rooms, until I send Draco a Patronus. It would not be wise to send it to my own rooms, knowing nobody is supposed to be there.”

 

 

“And if I´m also summoned?” Draco required knowing.

 

 

“Then I´ll send Lovegood my Patronus, she´s also one of the students I picked on my first day back.”

 

 

“`Ya planned ahead Snape, I´m impressed. Seamus stated and smiled.

 

 

“I´ve been a spy for all of your lives, of course I planned ahead, Finnegan.” He smirked, as he watched Neville down the potion that would turn him into him for the next 48 hour. Neville kissed Severus before the transformation began, knowing it would be too weird to kiss Severus, as Severus.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I posted ch. 37 today also.


	39. To Fill Out The Shoes Of A Slytherin

 

”Ah, Severus, just the man I was looking for.” The Carrow male said as he walked up to Neville just outside his office. _Damn it. All right Neville, calm down, you can do this, you have to._ He turned around with his practiced sneer in place, and judging from the step the other took away from Neville, he had been successful in character.

 

 

“What do you want, Amycus? I don´t have time for any crap now, I´m tired and was just about to turn in.” The Death eater drew in a deep breath Neville noticed. _Oh, I´m so good at this._  

 

 

“Well, I just thought that perhaps… you wanted to…” The other looked away when Neville met his eyes.

 

 

“What!” He snapped at the Carrow, “State your business tonight before I regret giving you the time of day.”

 

 

“A drink… I wanted to… you want a drink… eh… with me?” Amycus was acting weird, well, weirder than usual, which was saying a lot.

 

 

“Your sister is more than likely to want to join you, why would you –“ Neville froze in mid-sentence. _A drink – oh god, he is hitting on me, er, Severus? What the fuck!_

 

 

“Yeah, yeah, I know that, but I wanted to…” he was finally brave enough to meet Neville´s eyes,

“Yes?” Neville drawled in his perfect imitation of Severus. Of course, having Severus´ voice helped with that.

 

 

“Well, you know, Severus, I thought that perhaps… I´ll make it worth your time…” he finally offered and Neville paled. _If I cheated on Severus in his own body, would it really be cheating? Or would it be Severus cheating on me – stop thinking about that!_

“I don´t have time for your fantasies Amycus, I already have someone to give me everything I need.” He sneered before forcing himself to be kinder since they did have to work together afterwards, not to mention face Voldemort, “But thank you – for the offer.”

 

 

Amycus blushed slightly, which almost made Neville laugh, but he swallowed it before it could burst out, “If you change your mind…” He bowed a little before turning and walking stiffly away. Well, he had just been rejected. _Severus you popular wanker, I´ll have to speak to you about your Death eater friends, I think._

 

 

Neville closed the door after him and laughed aloud when thinking about how Severus would react when he would show him his memories of this.

 

 

*

 

Neville woke several hours past midnight to screams not far from his office and private rooms, well, Severus´ anyway. He jumped out of bed, knowing no other professor would be near his rooms, okay, so he had to start thinking about Severus as himself when in character. He put on his robes over his sleepwear, grabbed his wand and opened the door.

 

 

He heard the screams again, knowing that those kind of sounds only came from a torture curse, he ran toward the noise. Alecto had caught a student out of bed, and as he scooted closer Neville saw that is was the very popular male Ernie Macmillan.

 

 

Neville and his friends often took turns in walking the hallways at night in order to make sure nothing happened to the other students, but this was one of those nights they didn´t; the Carrows were getting out of hand lately. Without hesitation, Neville moved forward before Alecto could cast another round. “Is there a problem here?” He drawled in his best imitation of Severus and Ernie dropped to the floor half unconscious.

 

 

“Severus,” her breathy voice rang, “No, no, this ladie here just had a little trouble with authorities.” She grinned at her fellow Death eater.

 

 

“Is that so?” He glanced down at the young man, who was now spitting blood as if he could make the bleeding stop by doing that.

 

 

“I don´t fancy sleeping with disgusting Death eaters to stay alive, so you might as well kill me now, my answer remains the same.” The handsome student stated, once he had gotten his voice and words back. Alecto sneered and her wand had almost fired another curse when Neville´s wand was out, and before he knew it, Alecto flew across the hallway, landing hard against a stone gargoyle that wobbled before falling down, crushing the professor beneath.

 

 

She was dead.

 

 

Blood was everywhere.

 

 

Neville froze, when he heard Macmillan get up, and stand beside Severus. “I knew they were all wrong.”

 

 

Neville faced the student. “Excuse me?”

 

 

Macmillan´s eyes widened softly. “About you, there is good still inside you. Dumbledore wouldn´t trust someone less than that.”

 

 

“I killed him.” Neville blurted out, meaning the former headmaster. The Hufflepuff smiled up at him.

 

 

“Not without good reason, you just proved that. Thank you,” he offered Severus his hand and Neville looked down at it before shaking it, “For saving my life. The hag didn´t care if I was a pureblood, not when I refused her.” Their hands parted, but Macmillan didn´t look away from Severus. “I hope he won´t be to harsh on you for this mess. I owe you one.” He nodded and half bowed, “Professor.”

 

 

Neville stood there and blinked. _He´s going to murder me for this._


	40. Obliviation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Geez, so tired lately - 5 weeks until baby number 4 comes!  
> Let me know if anyone is still out there, please.

”It´s all right. Calm down Neville.” Severus sat down cautiously beside his young lover and tried to move his arm around him for comfort, because he knew that was what one should do in a case like this, not that he had much practice in the art of comfort - but Neville jumped up again.

 

 

 

“She´s dead, I killed her. It´s… I´m a murderer…” He pulled on his hair again for the hundredth time after Severus´ return. The older male sighed wearily.

 

 

 

“It was an accident, from what you tell me, and the student present would pro-“ Severus tried to pacify the other, but was cut off.

 

 

 

“Because my magic accidently killed her when heavy stone mashed her to pieces. I should turn myself in, it´s not –“

 

 

 

Severus had already anticipated this response and had moved toward Neville, and in this very moment, he did what he thought would shut him up; he kissed him. Neville didn´t respond at first and Severus rubbed his finger behind Neville´s ear, like he knew he loved, causing the other to moan and give in to temptation.

 

 

 

After a couple of minutes Severus pulled away and leaned his forehead against Neville´s. “Are you calm enough to talk?”

 

 

 

“I love you,” he breathed, not opening his eyes to see the smirk those words caused on his lover´s face.

 

 

 

“I know Pup, but that´s not what I asked you.” The tone was teasing at best, if one knew Severus, that is, and Neville did.

 

 

 

His eyes popped open and he grimaced, “Did you just call me Pup?”

 

 

 

A long pale finger traced the outline of a somewhat stubby chin and jaw, causing Neville to shiver against his will. He was trying his best to be affronted. “Mm, cute, young and cuddly.” Neville´s eyes widened. “And if you tell anyone I told you that; l will refuse to having said it in the first place.” Severus kissed Neville briefly.

 

 

 

“You´re trying to make me forget,” Neville reached up and ran his hand through the dark tresses, “I love you so fucking much Sev, I would do anything for you. You know?” Obsidian eyes searched blue ones, before Severus pulled out his wand.

 

 

 

Neville didn´t even flinch. “Do you trust me?”

 

 

 

“With my life,” Neville answered promptly.

 

 

 

Severus nodded. “The mind works in layers, even though you were at the time, me, you can remember it fully. I´m going to remove that knowledge from your brain, since it was I who should have been the one to experience it in the first place.”

 

 

 

The wand raised and the spell at the tip of his tongue Severus started when Neville´s hands blocked the tip with his hand. “Please don´t remove my memories of you,” he swallowed, “I know, I know you´re sometimes scared of what we have, but… please don´t erase _us_.” Neville cupped his lover´s chin, “I have never loved anyone as much as I do you. You deserve to be loved. You´re worth it.”

 

 

 

 _Damn it Neville, why do you always do this to me? You would be much safer if I simply erased me from your mind._ Neville´s pleading eyes were locked with Severus´ when he cast the spell.

 

 

 

“Obliviate.”

 


	41. What The Future Brings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY, so sorry - been away too long - BUT I HAVE A GOOD excuse - I had my son on my own birth day october 4th! Yay - before that I struggled with massive pain for two weeks and I could do nothing all day, it was horrible! My son and his older sister and older brother are all doing great!

 

Neville blinked when he woke up later that night, it was darker than dark and it _had_ to be in the middle of the night. Out of habit, he reached for his wand beside him on the bedside table but came up empty. He knew, that even through the darkness his vision was blurred, and he blinked several times more before sitting all the way up, until he was pulled back down by a warm arm.

 

 

“Go back to sleep pup, it´s two AM and a Sunday,” a well-known drawl said.

 

 

Neville smiled as he saw Severus gazing up at him below him, offering him his chest to lie on, which Neville took willingly. “Thank god, I don´t know what I would have done if you-“

 

 

“You wouldn´t have remembered it if I did anyway.” The arm squeezed Neville´s half-naked body closer, causing the younger male to place a chaste kiss to what he knew would be a very pale chest.

 

 

“And I don´t ever want to find out what that´s like, you hear me? If you ever think about doing something like that again to protect me from you and – everything going on, and don´t you try and deny it too, I will hunt you down and your arse will be mine. Do I make myself clear?” Neville poked the toned stomach below his chin, as he spoke those words.

 

 

Severus had to stifle a laugh that tried to force its way out of his body before responding. “Take it then.” His still tired voice said.

 

 

Neville raised his body up slightly, “Take what?” He wondered in confusion.

 

 

Severus´ eyebrow rose, “My arse. Unless you were kidding and simpl-“ Neville practically jumped on top of Severus now, claiming his lips, while his hands ran hungrily over Severus´ body.

 

 

Severus moaned when Neville´s hand pulled on his cock.

 

 

Neville leaned down to whisper, “I´m going to use this tongue,” he licked the shell of his lover´s ear earning a deep throated groan of approval, “To lick between your arse cheeks,” he bit down on the lobe and Severus reached up to Neville´s hair and pulled. “Then, I´m going to fuck you with my fingers roughly, to make sure you don´t ever forget who you belong to, and you _will_ like it.”

 

 

If possible, Severus´ prick hardened more.

 

 

Neville hummed as he pulled a little harder on it, “And then, when you´re begging me, like you really mean it, I just _might_ offer you my huge cock.” Severus growled, but Neville simply whispered, “Would my little Slytherin like that?”

 

 

His teeth smashed together with another pair when Severus pulled his face closer to snog him as if his life was at stake. Neville moaned but broke off the kiss. “Mm, that´s not an answer, love,” he added and Severus shivered beneath him.

 

 

“Yes…” And then Neville was pulled into another heated kiss, which he took while spreading his lover´s legs wide and running his thumb across the tiny hole he had only taken once before with his dick. He nearly came while thinking about what it would feel like again.

 

 

Neville pulled back and kneeled between the headmaster´s legs, he placed a pillow beneath the perfect arse and thankfully, his eyes had gotten used to the darkness so he could see and enjoy the sight of the puckered entrance, which was squeezing down in anticipation of meeting his willing tongue.

 

 

Neville growled with need and leaned down, wasting no time to bury his warm muscle over it. Severus moaned, as Neville had never heard him before. “Mm,” Neville sent vibrations through his lover´s body earning a louder moan.

 

 

“God yes…” The hand was back in Neville´s hair and this time it pushed his face deeper and Neville made his tongue hard and pushed it inside. “Ooh fucking hell, yess… eat my arse… that´s it… fuck it…” Neville moaned as the words he received for his efforts nearly made him come.

 

 

Severus, the bastard, being who he is, reached down and pulled on his young lover´s dick and Neville came hard. He had to pull back his tongue to breathe better. “That´s a good pup.” Neville moaned again and opened his eyes.

 

 

“You just have to be in charge all the time, don´t you. You snake…” The insult didn´t do what Neville had wanted, instead Severus pulled Neville´s face closer to his arse and said.

 

 

“Fuck my arse, my little whore…”

 

 

Neville pulled his face away from the gorgeous and tempting behind, and roughly and very sudden pushed a finger inside said arse instead. “Ooh, I´m the whore now, am I? Hm? Who´s the one writhing while my thick finger is moving in and out?”

 

 

Severus was panting hard, and for the first time not caring how weak he might look when he made noises that had no trouble making Neville hard again. “More…” Neville grinned before bending down to add his own saliva to the tiny hole, and then pushing a second digit inside. Severus growled when he noticed Neville spat on his arse. “You fucking tease…”

 

 

The fingers inside Severus suddenly twisted and bend before rubbing over a most sensitive spot, which caused Severus to actually yelp in surprise and pleasure soon after. “Do you have any idea… how bloody sexy you are right now…”

 

 

Severus growled when Neville stopped moving his fingers and looking him straight into the eyes, while Neville was fucking grinning. “If you stop now, I´ll kill you… slowly… using my teeth…” He made a winging noise and pushed down on the fingers still buried deep inside his arse.

 

 

Neville bit his bottom lip, eyes never leaving the other´s, but he didn´t move his fingers. Instead, he let Severus continue to fuck himself on his two digits. Soon after, he couldn´t resist any longer, so he bend down and sucked the engorged head inside his mouth.

 

 

The salty drop of pre-cum flavored his tongue and he moaned in appreciation. “My god…” Neville stared at Severus´ flushed face while he let his muscle play with the underside of his cock. “Don´t…” Neville added suction and Severus´ legs began to shake slightly. “Don´t stoop… please…”

 

 

Neville moaned, and that´s when Severus came hard and Neville´s mouth was filled to the rim. He swallowed most while rubbing his fingers against Severus´ prostate, earning more cum and more shivers and spasms from the male beneath him.

 

 

Severus lay still, panting heavily while Neville cleaned them using a wand, he didn´t know which.

 

 

When Neville came back to lie down beside Severus he was yanked closer to a gentle kiss. Neville´s eyes closed as he let Severus lead the kiss and Neville´s left hand caressed the pale torso to show his appreciation.

 

 

The kiss ended and Neville sighed and lay down resting his head on Severus´ chest. “Things will be alright, won´t they?” Neville whispered after a while.

 

 

Severus didn´t have a response to that, so he pulled his lover closer and kissed the top of his head, and Neville seemed to understand the meaning.

 

 

Nobody knew what tomorrow would bring.

 

 


	42. Another Ally

 

February and March became April soon enough. Neville had acted as Severus three times on other occasions without any trouble.

 

 

Nobody knew where the horrible Carrow sister had gone, still, and her brother´s mood was even worse than before her disappearance, naturally, but without his back-up in torture sessions it wasn´t the same anymore, much to the students´ relief.

 

 

Voldemort himself was convinced that the Carrow had run away from her duties as a mad-woman and had blacklisted her amongst the Death eaters, even though her brother had tried to beg on several occasions, causing Voldemort to act out towards him in pure rage and punishment.

 

 

One did not argue with Voldemort. At all.

 

 

The landscapes surrounding Hogwarts were still covered in thick whiteness and it was simply beautiful, like always.

 

 

Neville´s favorite time of year had always been the Christmas holidays and whenever else there was snow around, which so happened to be Severus´ least favorite time of year. Neville, however, had sworn to the older male to change that after the war was over and done with.

 

 

Severus had of course said nothing to that, only cuddled closer together with his young lover in an excuse of feeling cold. He had avoided the subject of post-war so long it had become an art to do so for Severus, he could not break his young lovers´ heart in the middle of chaos, which would surely crush Neville´s spirit, and maybe even cause his death in the end.

 

 

And that would break Severus´ heart.

 

 

*

 

 

“I demand to know who murdered my sister! Right now!” Amycus yelled across the Great hall during dinnertime. Professor McGonagall had found the body of said sister an hour prior, and it had been held back in the infirmary for further examinations to confirm the cause of death.

 

 

“We will not have this discussion here, not in front of the students,” Severus drawled at the fellow Death eater who turned even whiter with anger.

 

 

“Then send the fucking spawn out of here!” he spat, causing Flitwick to draw his wand at him. He simply glared down at the half goblin and sneered in disgust. The headmaster nodded to the prefects who took their cues and beckoned the other students out of the dining room.

 

 

The death eater turned to Severus. “I demand some answers, right fucking now. Who did this to my sister? Her head has been smashed! She harmed no one –“ Severus snorted at these words.

 

 

“The last thing your dear sister _was_ was innocent. She tortured students for fun, even though the Dark Lord specifically ordered tha-“

 

 

“So WHAT!” he huffed and drew his wand, not noticing the wand in every other professors´ hands. “Are you telling me that _he_ murdered her? She was loyal to him, and he-“

 

 

“Of course not you fool.” Severus drew in a deep breath before going on; McGonagall narrowed her eyes at his. “I did.”

 

 

Amycus turned slightly green and looked at Severus. “Yo-you wouldn´t, surely Severus, I-I´m your friend. You would no-“ Severus shrugged off the hand the other had placed onto his arm in an effort to steady himself against what Severus had confessed, he was sure.

 

 

“She -“

 

 

A gentle hand on the headmaster´s arm silenced and startled them all, as they turned around to the body connected to said arm. “No.” The voice of Ernie Macmillan stated confidently.

 

 

“Who is this fool?” Amycus barked.

 

 

Ernie sought out his headmaster´s dark orbs and smiled calmly. “Thank you for saving my life, but I cannot let you take the punishment that Voldemort woul-“

 

 

“Mr. Macmillan, you will return to your dor-“

 

 

The student raised his wand slightly between the two of them; Severus graced his own but didn´t go for it. The movement was so quick the next moment that nobody had time to act against it. “Obliviate.” The Carrow male´s eyes grew blank before the firm voice spoke. “You are sorry for your sister’s death, but you had to punish her for not following the Dark Lord´s orders, she would have disrespected him and embarrassed your family if not. Go to your master and confess,” he glanced briefly to Snape, “And get out of Severus´ face unless he calls on you.”

 

 

The Carrow blinked when Ernie lowered his wand and shook his head in confusion before leaving the room after a deep bow to Severus. Once he left Severus turned to his student.

 

 

“You stupid-“

 

 

“Shut up!” The silence that followed was disturbed when the young man spoke more words, “You saved my life. You did what you had to because that bloody cow tried to rape me, I will not let you be tortured or worse because of that sick bint.”

 

 

“Mr. –“

 

 

“I said no!” He leaned closer to Severus, “I meant what I said, I owe you, and you have my trust.” He put his wand aside, before speaking again. “Tell, if you need anything.” He held out his hand for his former Potions master to shake, this was a pureblood custom to confirm a dept owed between two wizards. Severus blinked before accepting his hand, causing the attractive male to smile.

 

 

“Professors.” He bowed to the others before exiting the room.

 

 

”Is it true, Severus?” The shaky voice of McGonagall asked.

 

Severus couldn´t answer due to the shock of the student´s actions. He knew the purebloods were highly bound by life-depts and would take them very seriously, but the words followed that. _You have my trust._ In the past months he had heard those exact words from several students, whom he had never thought would feel that way towards him. Neville, the Weasley girl, Thomas, Finnegan, Lovegood and now Macmillan.

 

 

 _Maybe there is hope out there after all,_ he thought as he nodded in response to the question asked.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy :D


	43. The Castle´s Magic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone out there still????

 

It turned out that professor McGonagall had discovered the body of Alecto on one of her _special rounds_ around Hogwarts.

 

 

Naturally, the Order of the Phoenix was still very much operating about, but so far, of course, they had not included Snape in the whole matter anymore, since he had betrayed them all by murdering Albus.

 

 

McGonagall, along with Flitwick, were taking turns in casting tracking spells that would detect Dark magic around their school when Death eaters were not trailing them. It was the only way to try to stop the worst things from happening to their students. Sometimes they had been lucky to come across certain crimes right after they had happened, so they could act in the best manner accordingly, thus actually saving lives on two occasions.

 

 

Of course, the Death eaters roaming about had figured out the students were missing from school eventually, but they could not point their fingers at anyone in particular. The muggleborns in question had in fact been removed from the school and into safe houses along with their families.

 

 

On one round Flitwick had caught two Death eaters in the act and had to obliviate them, it could have cost him his life. That was not important to him, he had sworn to protect the students within the grounds, and so he did.

 

 

Alecto had been _swallowed_ by the walls of the castle itself after her death it seemed.

 

 

It was something that Slytherin himself developed when he walked the hallways of Hogwarts. The School was to hide or defend the school and it´s student’s crimes, if, and only if it would otherwise go against the magical laws.

 

 

Naturally, murder would never be legal, however, somehow the castle had acted as a guardian of the school´s survival, thus, in this case, meaning protecting Snape from being caught in the act and punished because of that.

 

 

This was the reason that the Order was now discussing Snape´s loyalty. Again. Had they been mistaken in casting him out? Had Albus been right all along to trust the Death eater?

 

 

The magic of the Wizarding School would never approve of crimes for the sake of the crime. It was essential to the magic involved in order for the protecting to set in motion that the participant had acted with _good_ intentions on behalf of the students´ safety.

 

 

I was still Dark Magic, but nobody had been able to remove the magic Slytherin had placed there.

 

 

Slytherin had been brilliant enough to add a second magical line of action too, because otherwise a professor or another student could simply commit a crime he or she _felt_ would benefit the school, thus receiving the magical protection inside the walls.

 

 

No. There had to be another addition, which was that the person committing the wrongness must have a pure aura. It was based on a healing scan of the body, when a healer wanted to check if a spell or curse had damaged the magical core or aura of a wizard or witch.

 

 

It had taken Slytherin 4 years to succeed with this, and the year after was when he and Gryffindor had their fall out, causing Slytherin to leave. He had wanted to only allow purebloods into the school, and it had even been offered from his part as a compromise, to let in half-bloods too, to soothe the other founders, but it was not to be so.

 

 

So there you have it.

 

 

McGonagall found the Carrow sister, because of her will to want to protect the students from harm and Dark magic, thus making the walls that had hidden the crime in the first place, to come forth with the body.

 

 

Needless to say, that the stern witch had been startled, and then amazed, because naturally, every professor here knew of these kinds of protection wards built into the walls by the founder.

 

 

Therefore, she and the rest of the Order had to admit, that maybe Snape really was on their side, even though the man clearly had a lot of explaining to do.

 

 

*

 

 

Neville whistled lowly as he watched the blonde bend over to pick up his bag from the floor he had put down earlier. Draco turned around abruptly and quirked his brow at Neville. Neville bit his lip, “If I didn’t already have a fine arse to fuck I would be on my knees begging for yours…”

 

 

Draco snorted and then smirked. “You already did drop to your knees and beg three days ago, in case you don´t remember.”

 

 

Neville grinned. “Yeah, but a blow is not the same as being allowed to slam into a tight, gorgeous arse now, is it?” He smacked Draco´s bum.

 

 

“Does your mind ever think about anything other than sex?” he asked, clearly amused, but drew in a sharp breath when Neville leaned in and pushed him against the bookshelf causing him to lose his bag again and it thumped to the stone floor.

 

 

A finger traced a pale jawline as Neville studied Draco´s eyes. “Between Severus and you walking around in the castle, how could it?”

 

 

Draco laughed, until Neville pushed his hard body in to his, then he groaned. “How about you return the favor, hm? You can pretend I´m Harry while sucking me, I´m pretty sure he´ll thank me for preparing you for him when he finally notices you.”

 

 

Neville had been trying to get Draco to play along with this for the past couple of weeks, but Draco had been reluctant. What if Potter found out and ridiculed him? Or what if Neville and he had a fight and the Gryffindor decided to sell the information to the papers?

 

 

“Stop overanalyzing it Draco, I won´t tell anyone. I promise.” Neville sucked on the spot behind Draco´s ear he knew would make him cave; he had spent a lot of time exploring the blonde´s body, much to Severus´ pleasure.

 

 

Severus loved when Neville shared his memories of their encounters with him, it was like a drug, or like muggle porn, he could use for inspiration. Neville had said he would stop messing with Draco the moment Severus wanted him to, but the trouble was that Severus didn´t want him to. He was tired with everything going on around him, and he wanted Neville to feel good, because that made him feel good too. Besides, Draco and Neville together, well, the idea alone had gotten him off more than once when he was alone. They were both young, brilliant and extremely sexy.

 

 

“Fine, but you have to keep quiet, you know the last time the old hag had came around when we cast silencing spells in her library, she nearly caught us then.” Neville nodded and pulled Draco with him to another corner of the room. Draco shook his head. He was so going to Hell, but until then, why not enjoy Heaven a bit more? He smirked.

 


	44. The Final Battle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wonder - if anyone is still reading?

_It is May 2nd._

_I have no idea how it is possible that the past month has gone by so fast, when time seems to stand still at this very moment._

_In the midst of the final battle, everything slows as I watch my friends fall; some to never get up again. I witness some of the bravest Order members take their final bow to green curses and lay unmoving on the ground._

_I step over Death eaters too sure of themselves but proven wrong by my side._

_It´s all a blur from the moment Harry had returned with Ron and Hermione, to tell us about their journey, and ordered us to hunt down Nagini._

_This is where I´m going now, to find and brutally murder that blasted snake, so that Harry can finally end this madness. To lead our side into victory; the light side that won´t bow to a Lord whose beliefs are so twisted that not even half the students present would be allowed a magical education._

_I´m sweating heavily, as I walk briskly around the battlefield, not because my Gryffindor courage has failed me in this moment of truth, but because I have another goal; one I dare not fail to fulfill. If I do, darkness shall rule, and I cannot let that happen._

_Voldemort has demanded that Harry surrender to him. He has promised to stop this blood spilling if my friend walks into the forest to be slaughtered. Naturally, Harry is willing to sacrifice himself to save the world._

_I don´t think I have ever met someone as courageous and selfless as Harry, except Severus, who has spent his entire life protecting Harry._

_Life is ironic really._

_I wonder how Harry will react when he realizes that the one person he hates almost as much as he hates the Dark Lord himself, that Severus is actually the very reason that Harry is still here breathing._

_Severus._

_No, I have to concentrate on my task first. He´s with me in my mind, and my heart. Please let him be safe, please._

_I see her now; she´s moving towards the small cottage Hagrid uses as a stock between the Lake and the Forest, and I follow her._

_My breathing is rapid and I try to summon all my magic and courage and combine it. I´m going to need it that´s for sure._

_As I step inside, I stop and my heart does too from the moment I notice Severus standing there. He doesn´t see me as I crouch behind a broken table. Nagini is hovering in front of him and her Master is standing right fucking there besides her facing my lover._

_I can´t seem to focus on anything. I´m supposed to kill her, but I´m not stupid enough to not feel the protective spells Voldemort has cast surrounding himself._

_He´s not mine to take on anyway._

_I wait patiently while watching Severus standing there bowing slightly to his pretend-Master without having drawn his wand. I know why. Voldemort would see that as disobedience and punish him for it._

_Severus is so smart. And brilliant. And all mine. I smile, even in the middle of this sick situation._

_I blink as Voldemort leaves the room and taking his safety net of wards with him. He leaves his snake behind when exiting with two wands. Why does he have two wands I wonder?_

_Nagini rises in front of Severus._

_No. this is not right, something is way off and I stand; with one swift movement, I am in front of my dark-haired lover. I hear a devastating scream. Maybe it´s mine. I don´t feel any pain when poisonous teeth sink into my lower back and I am sent flying into Severus´ shocked face and solid chest._

_I turn without knowing it and in a flash she attacks again, but this time my spell hits her strongly and she drops to the wooden floor and ceases to move further. I stumble and fall, but hands catches me so the landing is softened and I hear my lover cursing angrily about my stupidity. That it was meant to be him in this mess, him that should be dying._

_Huh – apparently I am dying then. This sucks. I take comfort in knowing that Severus survived Nagini, because that´s what you do when you love someone. You make sacrifices to make sure they´re happy._

_I have to admit, that I had not planned on dying doing so, but that´s the way it is now. It burns like hell when the poison contaminates the rest of my body._

_I order Severus to get out, to leave me here. He, of course refuses, so I know I have to force him._

_Harry needs him; Lily needs him to keep his promise to her. And to Dumbledore too._

_This is it, the ultimate test of friendship, courage and loyalty for him. How can I take away all of those years of sacrifices and bravery, because of me dying? That´s not right; Severus should be out there staying true to his word, like always._

_I´m going to die no matter where he is._

_I kiss him while my body shakes from the floor where he sits with me. It breaks my heart to leave him. He has already lost the love of his life once, and now it will happen again._

_I know this, because he is letting tears fall down freely as I stare into his dark obsidian eyes, and he speaks the words I have been dying to hear for months. And now I am, literally._

_Isn´t life ironic?_

_He speaks words of love and devotion. Words of hope for a future, after all this madness of evil has ended when Harry kills Tom Riddle._

_Harry._

_I kiss Severus one last time, before doing what needs to be done. I owe it to Severus to help him stay true to who he is now, and has been for so many years until I came along._

_I speak the words softly. Words of pureblood tradition. Words that sets up protective wards using blood magic to bind it. I watch Severus´ eyes widen, as he is thrown outside the small cottage, and I watch him bang and scream at the door, as my pureblood spells swallow up every possibility of someone outside the Longbottom family to gain entry._

_Until I´m gone._

_I let my own tears fall, as I speak more words to make sure Severus knows my love for him. To see to that he understands why I did this, and to beg him to not let me die in vain._

_I see the moment clearly when my words have meaning to him. When hope leaves his beautiful eyes, when he stops banging long after the shouting has ceased so he could hear my voice one last time._

_Our eyes meet again before blackness takes me, and I smile, and try to show him everything he is to me. Because he is everything._

_I hope Harry forgives him for the past, and I hope Severus will get to him in time._

_I hope._


	45. A Broken Man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here´s another one!

Voldemort was gone.

 

 

Potter had finally managed to kill the fucking bastard that had caused so much blood to spill, so many lives to be taken, and so much fucking misery to occur all around the Wizarding society.

 

 

 _Misery_ ; he blinked at that thought.

 

 

Severus walked like a zombie with slow heavy steps outside heading towards the Black Lake, almost dragging his feet along the ground, only really lifting them when stepping over the rocks that lay splattered all over the battlefield.

 

 

His chest ached.

 

 

He wondered if he was having a heart attack, already knowing he was not that _lucky_.

 

 

Death would not be merciful when it came to a man like him, a man, who had destroyed so many lives with one mistake so many years ago.

 

 

No matter how long, how many years he helped the Order or how many times he saves Harry Potter´s life, it would never replace the guilt lain up on him, by himself.

 

 

He had nobody to blame for this but himself. He knew he _should_ not have let himself fall in love once more. A man like him does not deserve that, to feel absolute happiness.

 

 

His feet finally met the grass and he stopped walking when he heard his name being called. It sounded so far, far away. His mind a blur and his vision not focused on anything in particular. “Professor Snape – are you…?” Dean Thomas came to a halt in front of him, Severus didn´t bother looking at the dark-skinned male; he was Neville´s friend.

 

 

 _Was_. Neville was gone now, forever.

 

 

“Oi, Snape - ´ya alright?” Seamus Finnegan stood to his left seconds after Dean had spoken - addressing the Headmaster with what might appear from an outsider´s point of view in a disrespectful manner, when numerous people surrounded them, wands at the ready, Harry Potter being one of them.

 

 

“You bastard – you fucking swine. You _murdered_ Dumbledore – this is all –“ Harry stopped yelling with his wand still aimed at Snape, as both Dean and Seamus shielded their professor with their bodies, wands in their own hands still from the battle. Harry blinked and focused on his two friends´ faces in turn, they were covered in blood _,_ and _naturally,_ they had suffered some kind of head injury, which might explain _why_ they were protecting Snape.

 

 

“Seam, D – he needs to go to prison.” Harry pointed out bluntly.

 

 

“No.” The firm voice of one Ginny Weasley rang from behind Snape, and she suddenly stood at Dean´s left side, forming a half circle, blocking yet another of Snape´s sides from the angry masses of wizards and witches. She too pulled out her wand.

 

 

Soon after, a badly wounded Ernie Macmillan limped slowly but determined to stand next to Ginny in front of Snape too. Hand badly shaking as he clutched his wand with an inch of his life.

 

 

“Have you all lost your damn minds? It´s fucking Snape, he killed Dumbledore!” Harry roared and took a step forward when Luna´s hand reached out to him from behind and stopped him from moving beyond that single step he had taken.

 

 

“Dumbledore was dying already, Harry, we saw Severus´ memories. Severus has been helping us, the Order and _you_ all along.”

 

 

Harry blinked in confusion. “W-what _? N-no_ , that´s not...” He shook his head as he wiped his eyes wearily.

 

 

“Severus?” Ginny had turned around to face the older man, who had said nothing, nor had he moved an inch. His face was paler than ever, his eyes seemed _empty_.

 

 

“He´s – fuck Snape - ´ya bleeding.” Seamus reached forward wanting to examine their former professor´s stomach injuries but Severus pushed his hands away loosely.

 

 

“No. It´s not… mine…” Severus´ voice quiet and almost defeated. And _then_ his legs caved beneath him, he fell and sort of sat down awkwardly. The girls were by his side at once, Luna grabbed his face gently as Ginny´s hands tried to keep the man from falling further down on the soiled ground.

 

 

“Severus – _Severus_? Look at me – you´re in shock. You did well - Harry _lived_. You did what you promised Lily. She would have been proud of you.”

 

 

“ _What_?” Harry´s voice was hoarse, he felt Ron´s hand on his shoulder and Hermione came into view also by then.

 

 

“What´s happening?” Hermione asked softly.

 

 

“I don´t know.” Harry rubbed his face. “Somebody please _explain_!”

 

 

“Later Harry. Come Severus, we need to get you -” Ginny said and pulled at the older man´s body to get him onto his feet along with Ernie who could barely keep himself standing.

 

 

“No! Leave me be Red, I´m not leaving him behind.” If the situation had been any different, Ginny might have laughed at Severus´ new nickname for her. But she couldn´t, not when silent tears fell slowly from their headmaster´s eyes.

 

 

Many more had gathered around the confusing scene, McGonagall being one of them. Seeing this man, Severus Snape, crying in public, made her believe that he had finally lost his mind.

 

 

Dean swallowed knowing what might be the only thing that could make _this_ man cry, and knelt beside Severus, a hand on his left shoulder. “Severus – where is Neville?” More tears escaped Severus´ eyes, falling more rapidly together. “Oh _god_ – Seam?” Dean´s throat hurt by now.

 

 

“What did you do to Neville, you _fuck_?” Ron yelled, clearly so confused by their friends´ odd behavior that his temper got the best of him.

 

 

“He didn´t _do_ anything, he loves him, you idiot!” Ginny bellowed. Gasps and whispers erupted all around them. Severus couldn´t care less that Red had given away his deepest secret.

 

 

“ _Excuse_ me?” Harry said in nothing more than a crispy whisper. “Neville – and – Snape, and, and, and - Snape _loves_ him? That´s not…” His head was spinning.

 

 

“We´ll explain everything later Har´” Seamus agreed. “Snape – _Severus_ , tell us what happened, where _is_ Nev? Why is he not with you – he was with you, was he not…?”

 

 

“Naaa…” Severus forced his throat to cooperate but failed.

 

 

“Na what? Severus, you need to focus for a minute.” Luna´s gentle voice sounded.

 

 

“Nagini…” It was barely a whisper.

 

 

“NO!” Harry was the first to yell. “She _died_ , she had to, she was a Horcrux - I couldn´t have killed Voldemort if she hadn´t.” He mumbled.

 

 

Severus looked up at Harry for the first time, still uncaring for the tears plastered all over his face. “The Dark Lord… ordered her on _me_ … the Elder wand… he jumped in front of… told me to keep my… promise to… his magic kicked me out… couldn´t get back in… so I went to you…”

 

 

A moment of silence passed. “ _You_ saved me from Goyle Senior and McNair on the staircase…” Harry stated, and Severus simply nodded.

 

 

“Promise to whom?” Hermione´s voice shook as she cried silently.

 

 

“To Harry´s mom.” Ginny finished and began weeping louder. “He promised her… to keep you… safe… from Voldemort Harry, he´s been… keeping you alive… all these years. Oh god, Neville, you stupid idiot.” Seamus wrapped his arm around her.

 

 

“Where is Mr. Longbottom now, Severus?” It was McGonagall´s voice this time, she too was crying.

 

 

“Hagrid´s second cottage.” He told her without taking his eyes away from Harry. She nodded to Harry and Ron, who seemed to understand the need to get Neville´s body back here. They walked in silence, in sorrow, Ron especially, having also lost Fred just moments ago.

 

 

“Stay with your family mate, I´ll go alone.” He told Ron as he stopped walking after only a couple of steps away from the group of friends. Ron looked like he was torn, but eventually nodded in agreement.

 

 

“Yeah, alright Harry,” he shifted on the spot, ”I’ll… just… see you later, yeah?” Harry´s hand squeezed Ron´s shoulder.

 

 

“Count on it,” he wanted to offer a smile to his best friend but thought better of it. It just didn´t seem appropriate right now.

 

 

Ron walked away and Harry slowly made his way towards where Snape had said to find Neville´s body. He swallowed before entering the small hallway leading into the main room and stopped in his tracks at the scene that met him.

 


	46. Healing Powers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you go lovely readers - give me a comment to let me know what you thought.

Harry should probably move.

 

 

Do something, _anything_.

 

 

Instead, he stood there rooted to the old wooden floorboards watching Draco Malfoy ripping apart Neville´s clothes while cursing – and _crying_. What the hell?

 

 

Neville lay on his stomach and there was so much blood everywhere Harry looked.

 

 

“You fucking, stupid, arsehole. Don´t you fucking dare leave me now, Neville. You fight this, you hear me, you fucking fight!”

 

 

A stinging sound caught Harry´s ears as Malfoy poured some sort of liquid onto Neville´s wounds, and Harry also heard Malfoy´s words of triumph next, which could only mean that whatever the Slytherin was doing, was working.

 

 

Harry knew only a little about the art of healing, but he knew that the skin could _not_ grow back if the person was already dead. He felt dizzy all of a sudden realizing that Neville was still alive, and slid down the wall to land on his arse, head in his hands.

 

 

Harry should _help,_ but he was in shock. Why would Malfoy of all people heal Neville, and did his ears deceive him or had Malfoy actually called him _Neville_? Harry blinked when he heard Malfoy turn Neville around and soon after speaking in Latin tongue.

 

 

He was casting diagnostic spells now. Harry knew those words from all the times he had spent in the infirmary during his years at Hogwarts all too well.

 

 

Then Malfoy took out three vials and poured the potions into Neville´s mouth.

 

 

And then the blonde sat back on his heels and waited. Along with Harry. Whom should still fucking move and help! Harry´s body still refused, so he slumped back again wearily.

 

 

Harry had no idea how much time had passed before he recognized the sound of a deep gasp, it reminded him of the one he had let out himself after emerging from the Black Lake in the Triwizard tournament. He shivered when remembering that year and shook his head to focus back on Neville.

 

 

Neville coughed and Malfoy sighed in relief. “You selfish bastard!” the Slytherin spat, but Neville only blinked a couple of times and then he actually grinned up from Malfoy´s lap, where his head was currently placed.

 

 

“Hey gorgeous. How did you – is Severus alright – did Har –“

 

 

“Shush for a moment.” Malfoy interrupted him and closed his eyes, maybe in an effort to calm himself.

 

 

“Wha-“ Malfoy´s hand silenced Neville´s mouth.

 

 

“I thought…” Malfoy drew in a large portion on air that couldn´t possible fit inside his body, and Neville knew why the words were failing his friend. He had been scared.

 

 

Neville removed Malfoy´s hand to speak. “Pull me up.”

 

 

“No, you need to lie down for the next hour without any magic interfering. The potions I gave you need that time to fight against the venom before we can move you from here, or your body will begin to resist the antidote.”

 

 

“What did you give me?” Neville´s vision blurred a bit so he blinked repeatedly before staring up at Malfoy.

 

 

“I have carried an antidote for snake venom for almost a year, of course renewed every third month. Being around _him_ , well, you never knew when he would–“ Neville nodded in understanding, that made sense. “Severus made sure I also had on me vials of blood-replenishing potions, and lately I have been carrying a vial of Phoenix tears and a couple of other internal healing potions. It´s proven to be useful on a few occasions, including this.”

 

 

“Phoenix tears?” Neville croaked. “Those are bloody expensive. At least a couple of thousands per vial. And that’s only a very small one.”

 

 

Malfoy smiled, he _smiled_. Harry had never seen that before. “Well, haven´t you heard, I´m loaded.” And then the git winked at Neville.

 

 

“Why didn´t Severus carry any of those things?”

 

 

Malfoy sighed before answering. “Because he didn´t think the Dark Lord would actually kill _him_ using Nagini. He´s been so used to thinking about everybody but himself really, he just didn´t care enough. Until you came along, that is. But he still didn´t believe that the evil git would finish him off that way, he always figured he would go out by the Dark Lord´s hand. _”_

 

 

Harry shook his head; this was when he was going to stand up and demand to know what the hell was happening around him - to ask if everyone had gone completely of the rockers since he left. But Neville´s words froze him first.

 

 

“Did you see Harry then?” Malfoy squirmed. “I know Severus is fine, or you would have told me that sooner, so – I´m guessing Harry won, since you´re here with me, but did you see him? Talk to him?”

 

 

Neville sighed when Malfoy didn´t respond. “Come on Draco if we´re going to sit here for that long at least talk to me. I´m too weak to send of a Patronus and you never learned how, and you didn´t leave me here alone to get help, which must mean that you´re monitoring me because some of the things you gave me or did to me are dangerous - so we´re stuck here. Besides you just said no magic anyway.”

 

 

Malfoy´s hand went through his golden locks silently approving of his friend`s intelligence. “Of course I didn´t talk to him. Why would I?”

 

 

Neville quirked his brow. “Oh, I don´t know, maybe because you´re in love with him?”

 

 

Silence - but at the same time, Harry´s head went crazy with thoughts. Why is Malfoy not arguing that statement? Harry´s breathing increased. Has the world gone mad?

 

 

“Are you going to tell Harry you fancy him then?” Neville asked in another way, clearly not willing to let it go.

 

 

Draco sneered. “No, of course not. He hates my guts.”

 

 

”So, if you had the chance, you wouldn´t, say, suck his cock then? Or even fuck him?”

 

 

Malfoy sputtered. “I´m _not_ thinking about that, because that will never happen.”

 

 

“But if you could? You blew me when thinking of him, so -” Neville pushed on.

 

 

“Severus gave us permission! And who wouldn´t, he´s a bloody God.” Malfoy´s words hit Harry in the chest, hard. He had never in a million years thought, that he would hear those words exiting that mouth. Ever since Ginny had broken up with him and jokily said he should ask out Malfoy, and Harry had nearly hexed her for that statement, he had spent more and more time watching the blonde. And to his annoyance he had admitted to finding him attractive. But he was a bloody dickhead still.

 

 

How is Neville friends with him then?

 

 

”Harry.” Neville said as Harry now stood in the doorway watching the two men on the floor together.

 

 

“Funny now are we? You prat. The potions make you obnoxious.” Malfoy stated to Neville.

 

 

“Malfoy.” Harry breathed and stared at the male in front of him, who seemed to pale even further at hearing Harry´s voice.

 


	47. Bluntness

 

He didn´t meet Harry´s eyes, how could he after _that_? He had never been so embarrassed in his entire life as far as he could remember. Instead, he kept his face purposely away from the green probing orbs.

 

 

Neville bit into his bottom lip, which annoyed Draco massively; the git was having a field trip on his expense. “Shut up!”

 

 

“What? I didn´t say a thing Dray.” He feigned innocence and Draco snorted.

 

 

“Malfoy?” Harry repeated, when neither seemed inclined to answer him.

 

 

“What Potter?!” The blonde snapped, partly out of habit but mostly because of his nerves. This was it, the moment in time when reality came crashing down on him. The second where Draco would be rejected, and his desires would become a laughing moment to the great and almighty Harry fucking Potter.

 

 

“If you want to suck my cock I might inform you that that´s not the way to address me properly, at least not until we get into bed.” Harry drawled.

 

 

Draco froze. _What? Did he just?_

”And I´m not saying that we _will_ , Merlin Malfoy, this day has been the weirdest fucking day ever. I mean… had to kill a Dark Lord… watch people die… see Snape have a meltdown because apparently he´s in love with Neville… then they sent me to fetch his body and it turned out to not be a body but the two of you and… fuck Malfoy – you _want_ me? You know the half-blood that spent years fighting you? Who turned down every offer of friendship without thinking twice, that´s just –“

 

 

“STOP! For god´s sake, Potter, just… stop your rambling… you´re giving me a headache.”

 

 

“Sex helps with that.”

 

 

Draco´s eyes snapped to Neville´s. “Not helping Nev!” Neville laughed.

 

 

Harry was aiming to destroy his bottom lip, Draco noticed. “Stop biting your lip Potter.”

 

 

Harry huffed. “Not even a first date and you´re ordering me about –“

 

 

“It´s distracting.”

 

 

Harry quirked his brow. “Really? How about this then?” he asked before a pink tongue peeked out and licked red lips, which was causing Draco´s breath to catch in the back of his throat. It didn´t go unnoticed to Harry who laughed. “You really _are_ into me huh?” His hand went through his dark locks.

 

 

“Whatever Potter.”

 

 

“The great Malfoy heir´s got the hots for his mortal enemy. I wonder what daddy dearest would say to that?”

 

 

“Laugh it up Potter, and then we can both get on with our lives.” Draco spat. Harry suddenly kneeled down next to Neville who was blinking rapidly to stay awake due to the potions.

 

 

“Snape went with McGonagall to the hospital for a checkup, he sort of fell apart to the idea of your death. Geez Nev, Snape?”

 

 

Neville grinned lazily. “He´s amazing. And the sex -”

 

 

”Whoa, not yet ready for that part Nev!” They both laughed. Then Harry turned his head and stared directly into Draco´s passive face. Harry grinned.

 

 

“You know, Gin is right, you´re not at all bad-looking Malfoy.”

 

 

“Alright Potter, you´ve had your fun –“

 

 

Harry leaned closer to provoke the other. “This is where you beg.”

 

 

“If I wasn´t protecting Neville from further injury I wear I would beat the crap out of you right this minute Potter.”

 

 

“Nah Malfoy, you´d much rather snog me, wouldn´t you?”

 

 

“Harry stop teasing him, you know how a Malfoy´s pride is.” Neville said. “I think you should at least snog to see if it´s just a, whatever it is, right now in fact, so I can watch.” He laughed which caused him to cough slightly.

 

 

“You _would_ say that, you perv.” Draco snapped.

 

 

“Hey – two gorgeous Slytherins want my body, how can I not turn into a perv?” He grinned.

 

 

“ _One_ I´ll give you Nev, but Snape? Yuck.” Harry retorted shuddering.

 

 

“Oi!” Neville smacked Harry´s arm quite hard for someone half-dead. Harry winced and smiled.

 

 

“Well, maybe in time I´ll think him… acceptable…”

 

 

“You think I´m gorgeous?” Draco muttered more to himself than anything.

 

 

“Huh?” Harry quipped in confusion.

 

 

“You said one…and if Severus is not-“ he couldn´t finish the question or meet Harry´s gaze.

 

 

“Well, you´re fit I´ll give you that, but I´m not sure that I´ll… we´ve hated each other for so long Malfoy… well, maybe not so much from your point of view…” Harry messed up his hair further and exhaled deeply. “Kiss me.”

 

 

Draco choked on air. “Excuse me?” Neville snickered at Harry´s bluntness.

 

 

“Well, We´re here and waiting until it´s safe to move Neville, so we have like half an hour still to talk and… if we both like the kiss, then l´ll give you a chance, on a date, when all this is over, and we´ll see from there.”

 

 

Draco blinked. “I´m not making any promises mind you.” Harry added.

 

 

Draco looked at Harry then at Neville, then back at Harry. “No.”

 

 

 

“Stop being stupid Dray, you love him just snog him for fuck´s sake.” Neville interfered.

 

 

 

“Love?” Harry let out.

 

 

Draco swallowed and was about to say something, probably nasty when Harry leaned in and their lips met. Neville groaned. These potions were doing something to his body, or maybe Draco was right that he was a perv, because watching Harry and Draco kiss was so god damned hot.

 

 

When Harry broke the kiss, Draco was panting and he had to blink to focus on the blob that was Harry. Harry licked his lips. “Huh…” he said.

 

 

“What?” Draco breathed.

 

 

“Not sure.” Harry answered and leaned in again but Draco stopped him.

 

 

“Don´t tease me Potter, you don´t know…”

 

 

“Just one more; _you_ clearly enjoyed it, and Neville the freak is turned on by it, I have to…” Harry said.

 

 

”I´m not some –”

 

 

”…kiss you again, because that couldn´t possibly have been half as good as it felt, so clearly it was some sort of after-the-war-blur kind of-“

 

 

Draco pulled Harry into another kiss, this one were urgent and demanding. Draco even let Harry dominate the kiss for most parts and when he shoved Harry away from the kiss Harry was the one panting this time. “Sooo, a date then.” Harry managed after a minute and Neville burst out laughing.

 

 

“I love you guys. That was so fucking hot.” Draco pinched Neville´s arm hard. “You´ve always been so cute with your pink cheeks and…”

 

 

“Consider yourself warned Longbottom…” Draco drawled, but on the inside, he was doing cart mills.

 

 

Harry laughed. “So, tell me about this thing with Snape started Nev.”

 


	48. Reunited

 

McGonagall was still sitting beside Severus´ bed talking to him quietly, when Draco entered the small and white panted room at St. Mungo´s. The headmaster´s memories were turned over to the Aurors for further investigation, led by the Minister himself, an Order member, to avoid any ´mistakes´ to be made by those, who would see every Death eater imprisoned whatever the cause.

 

 

“Mr. Malfoy, how may we help you?” she asked, once he had closed and silenced the door behind him and walked up to the bed, where Severus was now almost half asleep from the potions he had taken after his breakdown.

 

 

“He´s alive.” was all he said. McGonagall´s brows furrowed and Severus blinked; the potions had taken away his ability to hide his emotions.

 

 

“Who is?” Severus managed to say with a sore throat, barely heard.

 

 

“Neville. I found him, and I… healed him… with the potions you made me walk around with, plus the ones I myself thought necessary to have on me… he´s alive, and talking.” Draco´s eyes shone and he blinked to stop getting emotional once more.

 

 

McGonagall gasped while Severus tried to make the words he heard work with his brain. “Draco…”

 

 

Draco took Severus´ hand and squeezed it. “I had to sit with him for an hour before I could move him, because of the healing process, and then Harry came in and –“

 

 

“ _Harry_?” Severus repeated and Draco blushed lightly.

 

 

The blonde cleared his throat. “Potter.” Severus tried a smile, but it didn´t really come forth all the way.

 

 

“Yes, well, _he_ wants to see you too, after you have talked to Neville, he says.” Draco looked down and bit his lip. “He´s not really as bad as… we all… thought…”

 

 

Draco looked up again when McGonagall cleared her throat and he thought he heard Severus laugh. “Neville…” He asked.

 

 

“Yes, he´ll be here shortly. Apparently, having Harry Potter on your side gets things done, that wouldn´t normally be possible. He´s working on getting Neville to share your room - should be almost –“

 

 

The door opened and three wizards entered the room after having knocked briefly. A bed was brought in and on it Neville lay, he smiled at the others once he came into view and the oldest wizards, a healer it would seem, spoke.

 

 

“I´m Gerald and will be assigned to taking care of young Neville here under his stay. It is uncommon to have a patient _here_ , who does not belong on this level, however, being as it is, I will be here during the days. The nights the regular staff will see to Neville´s needs, should he need them, which I doubt since he will be given potions to make sure he sleeps.” He narrowed his eyes at Neville, who grinned widely when Gerald then stared at Severus briefly too.

 

 

“Thank you, Gerald,” Neville said as he glanced around the room to the others. The healer simply nodded and exited the room with the colleagues that had transferred Neville here.

 

 

Seconds after Neville humped from his bed and straight onto Severus´ not caring for his own injuries, and not caring if they were still watched by his head of house and Draco. He straddled Severus´ lap and yanked him up for a toe curling kiss, which lasted at least a couple of minutes, before he pulled away and rested his forehead against his lover´s. “I´m sorry,” Neville whispered.

 

 

Severus raised a tired hand to Neville´s hair and pushed it out of his face, their eyes met and Neville traced Severus´ lips with a finger. “Thank god for our gorgeous blonde, huh?” Neville added to raise the spirit, causing Severus´ eyes to sparkle.

 

 

“My cue to leave, I think,“ Draco softly spoke.

 

 

“I´ll escort you out Mr. Malfoy, we have things to discuss. Why don´t we go see the Minister and get you cleared to go home? They still need to go over the memories, but I think we can keep you out of Azkaban.” Her hand rested on Draco´s left shoulder and he smiled tiredly at her.

 

 

“Home…” he repeated, “The Ministry will have taken over the Man –“ he began but was interrupted by the man standing in front of him in the open door.

 

 

“I have a room you can use for now.” Draco stared while taking a deep breath. “Don´t worry, I promise I won´t take advantage of your cute body.” Harry winked and Draco flushed. “I´ll take him to see Kingsley.”

 

 

When Draco simply stood there, Harry gripped Draco´s hand and yanked him with him, said his goodbyes to his head of house and kept pulling on Draco´s arm until the male came willingly. Draco could have wiggled out of Harry´s grasp, but he didn´t really see any point to do that, not when he had hoped for the man to touch him for years.

 

 

“You´re on first name basis with the Minister?”

 

 

Harry nodded and grinned at Draco.

 

 

Draco smiled and followed making sure to ogle Harry´s arse all the way there.

 

 

*

 

 

Neville lay down next to Severus in his warm arms. “I´m so sorry I pushed you out, I didn´t want you to see me…” Severus kept caressing Neville´s hair, and then he hummed. “Draco broke the ward, he must have felt…”

 

 

“Love.” Severus finished, and kissed Neville´s temple. “You seem to have a way to do that to Slytherin bastards, don´t you?” Neville snickered.

 

 

“Mhmm, but it´s so worth it.” He traced his finger across Severus´ jawline. “Harry and Draco´s got a date, heh, go figure. About time too.” Another hum was the other´s respond. Severus was still trying to get his mind to adapt to Neville not being torn away from him. He closed his eyes. So, this was it, was it?

 

 

The feeling of happiness.

 


	49. Coming Clean

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the lovely comments :D  
> Not many chapters left now!

 

Neville lay beside Severus listening to his heart´s soft and steady beating while the elder man held him tight. Neville could not help the smile that crossed over his lips when thinking back to just last year, and the idea of these two being together in any aspect whatsoever seemed ridiculous.

 

 

Soon after though, the younger male sighed knowing he would have to come clean to Severus about something, and furthermore he had some questions of his own he needed answering to.

 

 

“What is it?” Severus whispered suddenly, which startled Neville because he was so sure that his lover had drifted off to sleep.

 

 

Neville bit his bottom lip gently and Severus automatically cupped Neville cheek and tipping his head upwards so he could meet his eyes. “I won´t get mad, just tell me.” Severus encouraged.

 

 

“The day I came to your office… I mean, when I wanted to…” Neville could not say it, he hadn´t even been thinking straight before acting. He was a fool, and now Severus would resent him for it.

 

 

“You came to my office a lot of times, mostly in it too.” Neville smiled at the older male´s joke, it was so strange having Severus Snape acting human.

 

 

“I asked you for a room to practice defense in…” Severus nodded, not sure, where this was going. “Fred and George have this device to… transfer sounds and… conversations to others…” Neville closed his eyes when he felt Severus stop his caresses on his back. “I…”

 

 

“Who?” Was the only question that came, and Neville couldn´t figure out how angry Severus was.

 

 

“Seamus, Dean, Flitwick and McGonagall…” Neville waited for the outburst.

 

 

“I take it back.” Severus said instead, and Neville´s heart froze over. He knew Severus would get mad, but he thought the other would simply yell or even get physical, not end their relationship. “You´re not stupid.” Neville´s eyes flew open in confusion and stared up at Severus again. “Telling me you lied to me when I am too weak to beat the crap out of you seems a smart move.”

 

 

Severus smirked. “I would think you owe me one night when you let me show you what the word _dominant_ could mean, as punishment.” This statement caused Neville´s face to flame up.

 

 

“You´re rewarding me for lying?” Neville was shocked.

 

 

Severus´ brows furrowed. “Rewarding?” He studied Neville´s face, “Why, you little whore. You want it?” A smirk broke out before his next words. “So many months wasted…”

 

 

“Do I want the sexiest man to have his way with my young teenage willing body? Huh, let me think that over for a second…”

 

 

“Brat!”

 

 

“You´re really not dumping me then?” He asked Severus nervously.

 

 

“And miss out on that tight devilish arse of yours? Not a chance. However, I think that we should act on not lying towards each other for future reference?” Neville nodded and offered his lips to Severus for a brief kiss.

 

 

“Can I ask you something?” Neville hesitated, but knew he had to get this off his chest. It´s been bothering him for months now. Severus nodded. “Why was Greyback so nice to me… when we…”

 

 

Severus drew in a portion on air; he had hoped that this would never come up. However, they had agreed on honesty and Neville had confessed his sins so it seemed only fair that he did too. This was different though, it was a thorn in his side digging into his very bones, something highly embarrassing, and he feared that he would lose Neville´s respect once he answered the question. Severus snorted, it´s ridiculous thinking about losing Neville´s respect, when only a year ago he had none for him. He chose his words carefully. “Greyback is loyal to his own desires and therefore those willing to pay the highest price. He never took the Mark, so The Dark Lord had to give him something to control him.”

 

 

Neville blinked a couple of times before speaking. “Voldemort paid him money to stay true to him? That hardly seems like –“

 

 

“No.” Severus sighed. “Greyback was always tempted by boys between 11 and 15. Being close to the Death eaters he had regular access to… fulfill his needs…”

 

 

Neville sat up abruptly. “That´s disgusting! People let that maniac rape kids?!”

 

 

“Some offered their sons willingly if he would not bite them or the rest of the family, some were half dead already from raids and missions, so he got the remains, but there were those who were very much assaulted by him. There are rumors around that Greyback liked to turn the boys, but that´s untrue. He did that twice, Remus Lupin being one of them, but he claimed it was much more _fun_ to witness the genuine fear he caused by not turning them.” He swallowed. “He even claimed that some young men let him visit them later on, willingly, because he promised he would not kill them, or bite them or their loved ones in return.”

 

 

“Sick.” Neville merely stated. “But what does that hav-“

 

 

“I offered him a higher price, for the sake of him being gently with you.” Severus interrupted. Neville stared at Severus.

 

 

“Please tell me you didn´t give him some small boy to…” Severus sighed deeply and shook his head. Neville´s eyes widened in confusion. “Then I don´t understand.” He whispered.

 

 

“The night I did not return for two days, do you remember that? When I told you I was on a mission up North.” Neville nodded after a few moments.

 

 

“That´s the night I had to call in Madam Pomfrey and she worked on you in your private rooms while I hid.”

 

 

“I was with Greyback then.” Neville nodded.

 

 

“He was the one traveling with you.” Neville confirmed, hoping Severus would tell more.

 

 

“No.” Neville´s brows furrowed in confusion again. This time Severus dared not meet his lovers´ eyes. “I was _with_ Greyback.”

 

 

Neville still didn´t get it. Why was he repeating himself? Why would – Neville froze in silent understanding and stared at Severus, who still kept his eyes averted from him. Neville forced Severus to look at him before speaking. “You let him fuck you?”

 

 

Neville was not angry that Severus had cheated or lied to him, he was in shock. Severus had let the meanest and most dangerous ´Death eater´ have his way with him, because of him? So that he would be safer? “He has always been _fascinated_ by me. Even when we got older. He claimed it was my power of control even throughout torture sessions with the Dark Lord.” He drew in air harshly. “He wanted to watch me not in control.”

 

 

Neville didn´t know he was silently crying until he felt Severus brushing away some of the tears. “Severus…” The older man shook his head.

 

 

“It was a small price to pay to have you safe.” Neville crushed his lips together with Severus´.

 

 

“I love you,” he kept saying between small kisses. “So much, Sev. I´m so sorry, I didn´t…” Severus pushed his tongue into Neville´s mouth to silence him. He would not cry over Greyback or what he had done for an entire day.

 

 

 _One_ day out of the rest of his life seemed a very small price to pay, and Greyback was dead now. He could not kill him again, even though for the second time in his life, he wished for a time turner, the first being when Lily was murdered.

 

 

“I love you too.” Neville sighed and rested his head against Severus´. Greyback was right, Severus was powerful, and hearing those words directed at him was the best thing Neville had ever experienced.

 


	50. And The World Moves Forward

 

“So, Harry dragged you to see the Minister and he took your testimony with two Aurors for the upcoming trial to get you acquitted?” Neville summarized as they sat together in the room next to the one he shared with Severus, while the dark haired lover had a healer speaking to him in private.

 

 

“Yeah, it´s all strange still, you know?” Draco smiled awkwardly at his friend who shrugged.

 

 

“Not really, Harry takes care of those he cares about. Always have.” Draco nodded in silent understanding.

 

 

“I have been wondering about something though.” Draco asked after a few moments. Neville nodded so Draco spoke again. “What possessed you to challenge me in the library in front of a bunch of Slytherins? A bit dangerous knowing some were like me.” He didn´t say the word, but Neville understood clearly that Draco had meant Death eater.

 

 

“Gryffindor all through.” Neville grinned as Draco snorted. “I don´t know to be honest. I guess I didn´t think it through. I´ve been used to being the boy, whom everyone thought to be a weakling for years, just got tired of that image in the last couple of years.” Neville shrugged.

 

 

Draco nodded before speaking. “Nott had to obliviate Crabbe after that, he would have told. Parkinson and Greengrass are not followers, or Nott for that matter, but Goyle and Crabbe are. Goyle feels like me though, he didn´t chose it willingly either. Crabbe is worse than his father, he´s mental.”

 

 

“And Zabini?”

 

 

“He´s my best mate, along with Goyle, he would end his life rather than follow the Dark Lord.”

 

 

“And me?” Neville wanted to know.

 

 

“What?”

 

 

“I´m your friend too.” Neville hoped and Draco smirked.

 

 

“Mm, well, you´re a _special_ kind of friend that´s for sure.” And when Neville understood the meaning of those words he laughed.

 

 

*

 

 

Draco and Neville had begun eating their dinner, as they had more to talk about, while Severus had finally finished with the healer and now had the entire Order visiting and then some. Severus had never had so many apologies or hugs in his life, it was all so strange and surreal, but he was still drugged up good to calm his nerves while recovering from his breakdown, so he didn´t struggle against it, as he would have otherwise.

 

 

Harry stopped in front of Snape´s bed at St. Mungo´s meeting his eyes silently, Molly caught on and ushered everyone out of the room. Harry smiled in gratitude before he chose to sit down on the bed facing his former professor instead of on the chair clearly sitting there for exactly that kind of purpose. He bit his still wounded from battle lip and stared down at his former potion professor´s pale body.

 

 

The Order members who had been in the room too when Harry had now completely filed out. The double glass doors, that were used in the psyche ward so the staff could at all times watch over the patients, closed heavily and it was possible for the others to watch the scene about to take place, a scene that had been replayed in Severus´ mind for years.

 

 

It could go so many ways. Severus knew how he _thought_ it would end. In addition, he knew that he wished for the opposite of just that to happen - even though it would be highly naive of him to think that Harry would ever speak to him, let alone spend time with him willingly after this day, not after everything he had done to destroy his former student´s life.

 

 

Severus took a deep breath.

 

 

Harry seemed to be searching for words so Severus spoke first, and despite the thick walls, every word travelled easily through the doors to the people waiting curiously outside to hear them due to the lack of privacy spells. That might have something to do with the device invented by Fred and George too, of course. ”I do not hate _you_ Potter. I hate the mere _fact_ that you were ever born. I hate the fact that your father made my life a living hell in our school days and the fact that you are his spitting image to look at.” He paused, knowing that his next words might remove the Snape-ness to his image.

 

 

He met Harry´s green, inviting eyes - Harry´s, not Lily´s. “I will admit that your Gryffindor qualities are more those of your mothers, however. That you, unlike your father, care about everyone in the wizarding community, hell, you even seem to sympathize with the bloody Dark Lord, when it would seem that you of all people would _not_.” He took a breath. “And _that_ makes you different than _him.”_  

 

 

Harry knew that ´him´ would mean his father. He was blown away by the honesty in Snape´s words. He blinked to keep his eyes and mind focused. “I hate the fact, that I have to _pretend_ to hate you because looking at you reminds me of my own failure, that I was the one who caused her death.” The last sentence came out a mere whisper but Harry heard every word loud and clear, so did the rest of the Order members. Some of the females dapped their eyes then.

 

 

Tears fell from Harry´s eyes rapidly before he had the decency to try to stop them, not that he cared about that at all right now. Warm, salty and heavy wet drops of what others would think to be grief, but to Harry it was simply relief; flooded the blanket covering the other man. Snape looked uncomfortable, but then again this was Harry being emotional in a public place close to _him_ of all people. He cleared his throat looking for the words that wouldn´t come out to comfort Lily´s son.

 

 

“Thank you for everything, _Severus_.” Harry whispered suddenly.

 

 

The words hit Severus like a freight train in his chest, he couldn´t breathe. The words were simple, it wasn´t a declaration of love or even that of a future friendship, but still they affected him more than anything had for years. His head reacted before his mouth and it nodded at the younger man. That court nod that had been his signature mark, whenever he had no words to offer.

 

 

The warmth that has consumed the inside of his body had reached the outside too. Shock flooded Severus, when realizing that it had been caused by the warm body now wrapped closely around his own tall frame. Harry had, without knowing what else to do, hurled himself onto the only living being who had known his parents closely.

 

 

Sure, other Order members had known Lily and James Potter too, but not to the extent, that Severus Snape had. Sirius and Remus were dead, casualties of the war. Sure, Harry had his own friends still to seek comfort from, and a lot of them come to think of it, but Severus was now his only link to truly knowing his parents, and Harry for one was not too proud to _not_ acknowledge that fact.

 

 

The war was finally over. People on both sides had died, someone´s mother, father, son, daughter, grandchild - all cold and stiff. There would be a time to rebuild their world without good and evil being so prominent. Harry was not naive enough to think that there would be no evil at all again, but things were about to improve greatly.

 

 

Severus Snape had spent his life keeping Harry safe; alive, even though he might have had ulterior motives, like feeling guilty about the murder of his best friend, Harry´s own mother.

 

 

Harry knew that it had taken a truly _great man_ to get over the hatred towards his father James and focus on the love for his mother Lily instead.

 

 

It had taken _courage_ to place his life between good and evil, to serve two ´Lords`; to not say too much to Voldemort, to endure torture, hatred, loneliness and to be alone with his own devastating grief.

 

 

It had taken _determination_ to keep focus on the task, a task that might end up killing him in the end, and knowing that eventually Harry might have to die too; the boy he had given up his own life to mold, protect and in the end to serve, would die.

 

 

No one had known that Harry would be given the choice to return to life.

 

 

It had taken _bravery_ to face Voldemort and watch him capture, torture and murder not only enemies but also allies, people that Severus had considered good people, whom he could have become friends with, if not for the fact, that he had chosen to keep up a great, cold wall of loneliness around himself. A wall he needed to do what was needed of and promised by him.

 

 

If the shock of Harry´s body wrapped around his own body had revolted Severus, he was not showing it; instead, Severus´ own arms automatically embraced the younger man in what Neville would have been proud to refer to as a real hug.

 

 

THE END

 

(There will an Epilogue)


End file.
